Is 25 a young age to have a baby?

[smileyren96]

I am turning 25 in 2 weeks and my partner is 27. We are both university educated, fully employed working full time and living away from home, both earning slightly above the average salary in the UK.

I always pictured myself having my first child in my late 20s. I still feel quite young to be an upcoming mother. My mother had her first child at 31.

I was diagnosed with PID (Pelvic Inflammatory Disease) at 19 years old which did lead to some infertility concerns and fears. I've never been someone who enjoys partying or clubbing, I am very much a homebody so that social side of things is not something that I'm worried about.

Is 25 considered a young mum?

The other advantage is having grandparents who are alive long enough to get to know and love their GC and for their GC to be old enough to remember them. It can't always be guaranteed, but is a bonus in a loving family.

@MadMadMadamMim

No.

You've been an adult for 7 years. Nothing particularly young about starting a family now.

I would consider teenagers to be 'young mums'. Once you're in your 20s I wouldn't.

I don’t think students really count as adults

This is why I don’t think it’s sneering or snobbish to mention establishing a career - OP has only been working for a maximum of 4 years depending on course, gap year etc which isn’t very long at all. It’s worth considering what career progression looks like in her field because if she could otherwise expect her first promotion next year (if she isn’t on maternity leave) then that’s something to potentially factor into the timing.

yes, it is 'young', considering the average age of a first time mum is now nearly 30.

Yes very young in my circles

University Ed , city careers in London .

Where I'm from prior to London it would be very normal for some groups . In my friendship circle nobody has a child and I'm nearly thirty. There is discussion of people starting to try at 31-32 .

But each to their own and whatever makes you and your partner happy !

No. I knew I'd finished at 25.

Young mum is a teen mum IMO

I would consider teenagers to be 'young mums'

But surely teenagers aren't the usual age of parents as they aren't even adults?

The other advantage is having grandparents who are alive long enough to get to know and love their GC and for their GC to be old enough to remember them. It can't always be guaranteed, but is a bonus in a loving family.

That’s so true. My parents both died in their mid-60s, despite having lived very healthy and active lives. I was 35, and my children were 7 and 5. Had I waited until my friends were having babies to have my children, they wouldn’t have met their grandparents. I’m glad they had that time together.

Of course there are no guarantees in life, and not everyone has a happy family set up in which grandparents will be part of GCs lives, but odds are, the later you leave it, the less time there will be for the children to spend time with, and form bonds with their grandparents.

Absolutely not I had my son when I was 25 (he's now two). But I do think it's what stage you're at in life. So my backstory is I worked from age 16 (started off as an apprenticeship), I owned my first house by age 21 so I've always had an old head. Maybe because you've been to uni etc that's why you feel young?

I think 25 is a great age, you're out of the going out every weekend stage, you're settling down and you're still young and healthy!

That’s so true. My parents both died in their mid-60s, despite having lived very healthy and active lives. I was 35, and my children were 7 and 5. Had I waited until my friends were having babies to have my children, they wouldn’t have met their grandparents. I’m glad they had that time together.

That's quite unusual though when you look at life expectancy. If I had mine at 25 my parents would still be working & enjoying their freedom after we had flown the nest. As they were in their 60s when gc came along they had retired & wanted to be very hands on.

Had my first at 22

@rottd, it is unusual, yes. Especially as one of them came from a family of people who tended to live into very old age. Just one of those things, but I’m glad I had my kids when I did, given how things turned out.

Anywhere from when you are an adult to your menopause is fine.

@DeathByWalkies

I think it depends on your social circles. My social circles are largely university educated / good jobs / career minded and with one notable exception (an unplanned pregnancy and very late discovery she was pregnant) no one had had a baby at your age.

Completely normal in other social circles mind you.

I'm "university-educated, good job/career-minded" and had my first at 24.

No, I had just turned 21 with my first.

I'm 24 with a 2 year old and a 5 month old we were lucky enough that my partner inherited our home so we were in a position to start our family

We tried for our first when I was 21. Was a mum at 22, am 25 now and have just conceived our second.

I’m very much a home grounded person, I never wanted to travel (well no more than a holiday a year), not bothered about going out and ‘living life’ as I read about being a mum in your 20’s means you’ve wasted your life.

Life was wasted on me before my child(ren). I absolute love being a mum and can honestly say there’s nothing I wanted to do before them that I can’t do now.

The MN class stereotypes (with their subtle sneering at young mums and their perceived lack of education and career) really annoy me.

I went to a very good school, am university educated (3 times) and have a great career that I love and it’s the career I always wanted.

I had my first baby at 25 and I’ve never regretted it. I was married to my childhood sweetheart and we wanted a baby. I had already complete my first degree in Maths, a PGCE and my NQT year, had travelled for a year in between.

Even going part time for a while hasn’t stopped me being in a senior teaching post by the age of 40.

If you want a baby at 25 and feel you are ready then it’s not too young. It also doesn’t have to define your social status, intelligence or life prospects.

@DeathByWalkies

Your post has the sneery and snobby undertone that my post above is referring too.

Young mum from an NHS perspective is defined as under 21. You might be young in terms of your friend circle but aren’t considered a young mum in a true sense.

@PattyPan

I don’t think it’s sneery or snobby to mention a career when discussing this topic but some of the posts on MN about younger mums are very snobby and full of stereotypes and misconceptions.

It is obvious from this thread which posts have a sneer to them.

I had my first and last baby (through choice) at 24.

I am a graduate, I have a career I adore.

I also think forward. I'll be 42 when he's 18! So he will be off to uni or whatever and I'll be in my early 40's! Not that I'm wishing time away, but I can't wait haha!

Hi, my situation is exactly the same as yours in that I'm university educated, fully employed and so is my husband. We've not yet bought a house but we married when I was 24 and I had my first baby in June at 26.

My friends who are at the same stage as me don't have kids but I plan on continuing my career (policy) and also doing a masters once baby is a little older.

You're definitely not too young but it is less common for those at our stage to have kids

I was 25 and 27 when I had my children. I am educated to postgrad level, I was married and owned my home by the time I had my first. I spent 5 years as a SAHM as well, and went back to the workplace at 32. 10 years later I’m exactly where I want to be career-wise earning a good salary so it doesn’t have to hold you back.

However I was considerably younger than all of my friends in starting a family and it was quite isolating being on such a different page to them all for so many years. They’re all so far behind me now, they have babies and toddlers in their early forties and I have teenagers - so we’re still not back on the same page yet!

No, not at all.