Is 25 a young age to have a baby?

[smileyren96]

I am turning 25 in 2 weeks and my partner is 27. We are both university educated, fully employed working full time and living away from home, both earning slightly above the average salary in the UK.

I always pictured myself having my first child in my late 20s. I still feel quite young to be an upcoming mother. My mother had her first child at 31.

I was diagnosed with PID (Pelvic Inflammatory Disease) at 19 years old which did lead to some infertility concerns and fears. I've never been someone who enjoys partying or clubbing, I am very much a homebody so that social side of things is not something that I'm worried about.

Is 25 considered a young mum?

Btw although it’s impacted on my career I don’t regret starting young. Meant I could have 3 quite spread out and still be done fairly young. Now youngest is 6 and I’m 40 and love that things are getting easier. Am looking forward to my 40s and don’t envy friends my age with babies and toddlers.

25 to me is young to have a baby but not too young. Younger than usual.

Oh yes, meant to add - we own our own home and I wouldn’t have chosen to have a baby before doing that. I also have a couple of holidays I want to do pre-children (eg seeing Macchu Picchu, hiking the Canadian Rockies) which the pandemic has obviously delayed but wouldn’t be able to do them with a baby so baby can wait a couple more years.

I don’t think anyone would really notice.

It’s young for my circle, because at 25 we were just out of uni with a good ten years of training ahead of us. So I don’t really know anybody who had a baby before early thirties, and the vast majority were mid-thirties to early forties.

That still doesn’t make 25 too young.

I do get tired of the idea that if you’re not having a baby at 20 it’s because you’re out clubbing…….nope. It’s really not an either/or. The earlier poster who has made the mistake of thinking that being a younger parent means one is more ‘family-oriented’ is incorrect also.

Just came on for the

"Well my social circle went to university and are career minded so it would be very young to me" comments

Had my 1st younger than 25.

Got a degree, own my house, went travelling with a baby. It was fantastic! Wouldn't do it any other way.

I certainly won't be complaining when they've moved out and I'll only be in my 40'a

I wish I’d had mine at 25. Having them later has its benefits but looking back, my only regret is waiting so long.

Biologically it's perfect! Socially it depends on your social circle. For some it's normal to have children in your 20s, others 30s.

I had my second at 25, also university educated as was his dad own home etc. I think if you feel ready and in a position to have a baby then go ahead if that’s what you both want.

@Givemebackmylilo

Same. Had my first at 20. We own two properties and have a degree each.

You don't sound broody. You should want what a child (not baby) would bring and change in your life.
If you can make it work and it was really what you wanted, then 25 is ideal. I had my last two at 28 and 30. I'm now only 53 with fully adult children. I was married. All the things mentioned like impromptu holidays, we couldn't have done because of work. If adventures mean shagging about, again it isn't relevant if you're in a relationship.
But you don't sound as though you really want a child. I agree on getting advice on your medical issues. My DD was told that she'd never have children without help. She's got two, one conceived while the coil was fitted. The next planned, but happened quickly. She chose that in her early 20s on the basis that her fertility might not last and she really wanted children. She's happy with her decision and not having a high flying career, or being university educated.

This topic is becoming so reoccurring.
Why does it matter if some people consider it young or not? What difference does it make. You're in control of your own life, no one else.

It's younger than average but I am sure much of that is because people don't have the finances much earlier.

Do you and your partner feel ready for a baby?

If the answer is yes, that's not too young.

My DS has just told us that he and his girlfriend are expecting- they will both be 23 when it is born.

The very first thing EVERY person I have told has said to me when I have told them is 'how old is he?' even before Congratulations!

They live together - have been to Uni / done a lot of travelling/ have good, well paid & secure jobs / savings / bought their own place 2 years ago.

I think offering a stable environment is the most important thing rather than age!

I had my first at 22.

I didn’t go to university, I left school to work at 16. ex h was older than me by 5 years, he had a degree and a good graduate job, we were married, owned a house. I didn’t miss out on travelling as we back packed extensively with ds.

Still lost all my friends though, was told i’d ruined my life, and was the butt of jokes.

I’ve just had my 3rd at 41. I wish I was in the position I was when I had my first child. We’ve got jack shit compared to what I had at 22. Age is nothing. But i’m no longer sneered at.

No, I had 2 by then. The only thing I'd do differently is to sort my career first, but if you've already done that then I'd crack on.

"I also have a couple of holidays I want to do pre-children (eg seeing Macchu Picchu, hiking the Canadian Rockies)"

I never wanted to do holidays like that until my 40's. I'm doing Canada in two years at 55 and I can because I've got no ties. I'm also planning a train holiday across Europe, in a few years. If enough people didn't want careers then we'd be screwed, our country would come to a standstill.
You really have to do 'you' in life to be happy.

25 would be over the average age in my area. We've had a baby boom during lockdown and I'm the oldest new mum by at least seven years and I'm only the ripe old age of 33, the youngest is 18.

I wish I'd started having children at 25! (I was 30 when DC1 was born).

I was 25 with my first and was the first of my friends to have a baby, but it’s not particularly young, I don’t think. We were married, had both done degrees/post grad qualifications and had bought a house beforehand.

I had my first baby at 21. I did feel young at NCT classes and such. Made great friends with the other women, all in their early 30's but they never made me feel inadequate because of my age.
Just had our 2nd baby at 26 and I certainly don't feel young at all this time.

I had mine at 26 and 29. Never felt or considered myself a young mum.

I also had an accidental pregnancy (which resulted in MC) at 17. That was young.

It is in my social circle, I don't know anyone who had kids before they were 30. I think you should do what's right for you though.

Had both of mine between 20 and 24... definitely not too young at all, under 20 I'd say I'd class as a younger mum x

Theres always a common theme on these types of threads that if you are younger than 35 you cant possibly have established yourself in a career, or travelled/partied enough etc to have a baby. You'll get people telling you in their 'naice' circles it's an absolutely unthinkable age but perhaps in 'other' circles it's normal (the inference being less 'naice' circles).

In real life, it's a perfectly acceptable age IF you are ready (mentally/financially etc) but also perfectly acceptable if you'd rather leave it a bit longer. You do you!

I had my first at 24. My Dh and I were educated professionals and owned home etc etc and I didn’t feel at the time anyone made any judgement about my age.
Most of my friends (with similar backgrounds and jobs) waited until at least 30 to start a family though so it was uncommon.
It was a good decision and I’m glad now to be looking into my 40s and have already done “the hard bit”.