Is 25 a young age to have a baby?

[smileyren96]

I am turning 25 in 2 weeks and my partner is 27. We are both university educated, fully employed working full time and living away from home, both earning slightly above the average salary in the UK.

I always pictured myself having my first child in my late 20s. I still feel quite young to be an upcoming mother. My mother had her first child at 31.

I was diagnosed with PID (Pelvic Inflammatory Disease) at 19 years old which did lead to some infertility concerns and fears. I've never been someone who enjoys partying or clubbing, I am very much a homebody so that social side of things is not something that I'm worried about.

Is 25 considered a young mum?

I had my first at 20 and my fourth at 28. It wouldn't be considered young in my social circles but on here you're going to be told it is. I think the most of Mumsnet are middle class with careers, so therefore had children later.

I had my first aged 25 and was the youngest in my ante- and post-natal groups. Although being a new mum is a great leveller, so it didn't matter what age we were, our babies didn't care!

If you think you're ready go for it.

I had my first at 28, and was by the far the youngest in my antenatal group, and in my social group. None of my friends were anywhere near that stage and they travelled and partied in their 30s. I envied them at times, but they are now in their early 40s with toddlers and babies and I feel tired just looking at their lives. I like the fact that my children will likely be independent, or semi-independent by the time I turn 50. DH and I plan to travel Europe in a campervan in our 50s.

There are pros and cons to both. Sounds like you’re in a good stable set-up and are ready, so you can start a family whenever you like.

There's a lot to be said for having them around your age. I had mine at 29 and 30, it meant their most difficult years were behind them by the time I hit menopause.

Perfect age actually! I had my first at 30 and thinking back I should have started earlier

It depends what you're own aspirations are for your life. I wouldn't have achieved half the things I wanted to for myself if I'd had children that young. I also have a hell of a lot more perspective and life experience now which helps me in being a more rounded and pragmatic parent.

Having a baby young won't necessarily stop you achieving your own ambitions, but it certainly will make it harder. There's no doubt it will still be fulfilling, but in a different way.

@Orangemochafrappacino

Its always heavily implied though *@JulesCobb and @girlmom21*. There are a few comments on the first few pages and several after your posts too, and if you look through similar threads it's the same.

I agree with future proofing before you have children but often on MN that needs to mean six figure salaries and big houses in London when that's just not reality for lots of people and never will be.

Sorry to quote myself but if anyone thinks I'm imagining this have a look at the comments on the active thread about men having children in their 20s

No, I had my first at 19, second at 21.

I was one of the first of my school and uni friends to have a baby at 29. My husband was the first of his uni friends (same age). We are the youngest parents in our social group of ‘got to know each other because our kids are in the same class at school’ despite it actually being our younger one who is the kid in that group (didn’t really get to know any families in our elder sons’ class). We are all university educated professionals. That said, it makes no difference whatsoever that we’re 39 and out of the ‘little kid’ stage entirely, while our friends are 42-49 and have one or two younger kids because we’re all in roughly the same stage of life and have similar life experiences and expectations. I don’t think I’d be too self-conscious about my age even if I were a few years younger.

I would echo what pp have said about owning a house first though, if that’s important to you, as childcare costs on top of rent would make saving up a deposit very tricky.

25 is a good age. In my circle we all had our first mid to late 20s. I miscarried my first at 26 but then had more DC at 27,29and 32

25 is a lovely age to have a baby. It sounds like you’re in a good position and with potential fertility issues it seems really sensible to start sooner rather than later.

25 is a great age! I'd have loved to start then but wasn't ready financially. In my area you'd be within average, maybe the younger side. At my NCT group we were all 26-30yo. I had my first at 29 and felt average at all antenatal appointments compared to other pregnant women in the waiting room. I'm 33 now and pregnant and still feel average tbh. However my friend had her first at 26 and said in her area everyone was much younger - on her postnatal ward she said she felt positively ancient as many of the other mothers were late teens, early 20s. So it does vary hugely (she doesn't even live that far from me!).

You would be classed as an older mum where I come from. I'm 27 and many people my age all had their first at 18/19 and are on their 3rd or 4th now. A girl who I went to school with, her eldest is going into high school this year! I was 25 when I had my DS

No.

You've been an adult for 7 years. Nothing particularly young about starting a family now.

I would consider teenagers to be 'young mums'. Once you're in your 20s I wouldn't.

Like a lot of people have been saying I think it depends on your social circle and the area you live in. The norm around me was nobody got pregnant before around 29, and most people did it mid 30s, so when I had a baby at 23 it was a "should we celebrate or commiserate" type situation! But back home people had 3 kids by 28 and that was normal!

Not at all . I had two by that age ( in the 80s that was more common) By the time I was 40 I was more or less free and had the finances to do whatever I liked. . I'm 55 now and have done so many things . Life has a way of working out .

I had my first at 25 in the mid 90s. Bought my first house while pregnant, had a good job and stable relationship and was desperate for a baby but I definitely think I was too young in hindsight.

I had no idea how restrictive and expensive having a baby would be!

If I could go back, I’d have waited a few more years, at least until I was 28/29 minimum and had a few really nice holidays, saved a bit more money and gone further in my career.

DD is 24 and I would hate for her to have a baby now and so would she, even though she’s getting a bit broody seeing her friends having them. Luckily she agrees with me that she’s got a lot of life to live first!

I would say it's young as 29.6 is the average.

I'm 51 and I started trying for a baby at 26 as did most of my friends at the time. Many had completed their families by 30.

It is younger than average, but not too young. I was pregnant at 25, DD born when I was 26. I had a PhD, DH and I both in full-time steady jobs.

I don't think there's a wrong or right age just one that's right for you. in my "world" people have babies in their 30s so that was just what I assumed I would do & I did. Our 20s were for working, partying etc.

I had my first baby at 40 and genuinely wish I'd started earlier! My only concern about starting earlier would have been the impact on my career. Pre baby I naively assumed that I could go back to work in the same way post baby. The reality is that given that I have to stop work at a certain time to pick up DD from nursery / have to pick her up if she sparks a temperature etc, I can't commit to the same work projects I used to (and I'm quite happy with this as I'd rather be with DD than working all hours). I'm happy with the level I'm at in my career now but if I'd hit this at 25-30 I'm not sure my career would have reached the same point. I might have more energy now though!! 25 is definitely better physically than 40.

Theres always a common theme on these types of threads that if you are younger than 35 you cant possibly have established yourself in a career, or travelled/partied enough etc to have a baby. You'll get people telling you in their 'naice' circles it's an absolutely unthinkable age but perhaps in 'other' circles it's normal (the inference being less 'naice' circles).

I think in my circle it's not about being naice it's more that we are all Londoners & it's so expensive to buy plus many of us did additional qualifications after uni. Non of us were home owners until our late 20s.