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Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Is 25 a young age to have a baby?

152 replies

smileyren96 · 14/08/2021 10:18

I am turning 25 in 2 weeks and my partner is 27. We are both university educated, fully employed working full time and living away from home, both earning slightly above the average salary in the UK.

I always pictured myself having my first child in my late 20s. I still feel quite young to be an upcoming mother. My mother had her first child at 31.

I was diagnosed with PID (Pelvic Inflammatory Disease) at 19 years old which did lead to some infertility concerns and fears. I've never been someone who enjoys partying or clubbing, I am very much a homebody so that social side of things is not something that I'm worried about.

Is 25 considered a young mum?

OP posts:
IveGotASongThatllGetOnYNerves · 14/08/2021 11:22

Not really. I had 2 in my mid 20s and certainly didn't feel like a young mum.
My parents were teenagers when they had me and the women I knew from school had children in their teens too. First was 14 I believe. So at the time I felt quite a late starter at mid 20s tbh but objectively it's not old at all 😁

cadburyegg · 14/08/2021 11:25

It is younger than average, but that doesn’t mean it is “too young”. I was 27 and 30 when my 2 came along. I’m definitely younger than some of the other school mums but that doesn’t bother me at all. We were married and on the property ladder and my career has continued to progress since they were born. I hadn’t gone travelling but that didn’t interest me, I don’t know why people insist that everyone should travel before having kids. I have no regrets at all.

I’m 34 now and my dc are 3 and 6, in a year my youngest will be in school and I’m looking forward to them getting more independent and getting some of “me” back while I still have an ounce of energy Grin

girlmom21 · 14/08/2021 11:29

@Orangemochafrappacino

Theres always a common theme on these types of threads that if you are younger than 35 you cant possibly have established yourself in a career, or travelled/partied enough etc to have a baby. You'll get people telling you in their 'naice' circles it's an absolutely unthinkable age but perhaps in 'other' circles it's normal (the inference being less 'naice' circles).

In real life, it's a perfectly acceptable age IF you are ready (mentally/financially etc) but also perfectly acceptable if you'd rather leave it a bit longer. You do you!

There's literally only one person who's commented anything like this and she was only commenting on her own personal feelings and openly said it's how you feel yourself that matters...

It's been a really supportive thread...

JulesCobb · 14/08/2021 11:30

@Orangemochafrappacino

Theres always a common theme on these types of threads that if you are younger than 35 you cant possibly have established yourself in a career, or travelled/partied enough etc to have a baby. You'll get people telling you in their 'naice' circles it's an absolutely unthinkable age but perhaps in 'other' circles it's normal (the inference being less 'naice' circles).

In real life, it's a perfectly acceptable age IF you are ready (mentally/financially etc) but also perfectly acceptable if you'd rather leave it a bit longer. You do you!

Id say what those women are actually doing, through experience, is saying establish yourself first to future proof as much as you can. If the relationship fails, can you put yourself in a position that you can support yourself and your children?

Ive never seen anyone say 35 is the minimum age to have a child. Maybe that doesn't happen as much as you think it does? I would consider 35 heading towards late for a first.

Howshouldibehave · 14/08/2021 11:30

MN often has people posting saying they are pregnant/have a child and are living with their boyfriend/partner/husband’s parents who they hate and are fed up with having to abide by their rules. I would say being financially independent and in a house of your own is far more important than how old you are.

Stellaroses · 14/08/2021 11:31

If you think you’re in the right place in your life for it then go for it - I would just make sure you’ve done all the education/training you want to for now (of course can always train or study later) because I would not have wanted to do mine with added strain of kids!
Travel - Non issue to me. I did a lot of travelling, gap year type stuff before kids, scaled my holidays down when kids were little (to UK, France, Spain etc) and then have started doing bigger trips and adventures as they get older (10+). Money is the only thing that affects travel really, so if you have plenty - no worries.

AlexaShutUp · 14/08/2021 11:32

I do think it's young and personally I wouldn't have been ready for parenthood at that age, but if it's what you want, then go for it. Everyone is different.

Comedycook · 14/08/2021 11:34

Really depends on your area and social circle. Amongst my middle class London friends I was practically a teen mum at 26!

haliborange0verdose · 14/08/2021 11:34

I wouldn't say it was particularly young. I was pregnant with my first at 25 and gave birth just after I turned 26. I'd say these days it's probably younger than average (most of my mum friends were mid to late 30s before they had kids) but you'd hardly be a teenage mum!

Onedaysomedaynowadays · 14/08/2021 11:35

@MaryShelley1818

It would be very young amongst my friends, think only one person had a baby in their 20's (28). Everyone else has been mid-30s, we are all University educated, professional careers and definitely doing other things in our 20s such as travelling and having adventures. That said I had mine at 39 and 42 (youngest is currently 6mths old). Which would be FAR too old for lots of people! So just do what suits you, just be very aware that if you're the only one in your group it can be very lonely and isolating.
I would agree with this 100%. To me 25 is v young but you do you

Everyone was mid thirties in my friendship group. All busy with establishing careers, travelling etc in our twenties. Having kids at a similar time was nice

MaryBoBary · 14/08/2021 11:37

I was 25 when I had my son. Although I didn't feel young at the time in comparison to teenage mums, I was living in a town in Kent and it seemed a lot of other mums were much older - in their 40s. I went to every baby group going to try and make some mum friends but the older mums didn't seem interested in chatting to me and I was very much sidelined. The few younger mums there tended to come with a friend and therefore also weren't too interested in meeting new people.

PoniesAnndProsecco · 14/08/2021 11:41

I had my first at 19, owned our house and were married. I didn't class myself as young. I think as others have said, there's more to it than age. If I was 19 and still living at home with no career or partner I'd consider myself 'young.'

Getyourarseofffthequattro · 14/08/2021 11:41

@Orangemochafrappacino

Theres always a common theme on these types of threads that if you are younger than 35 you cant possibly have established yourself in a career, or travelled/partied enough etc to have a baby. You'll get people telling you in their 'naice' circles it's an absolutely unthinkable age but perhaps in 'other' circles it's normal (the inference being less 'naice' circles).

In real life, it's a perfectly acceptable age IF you are ready (mentally/financially etc) but also perfectly acceptable if you'd rather leave it a bit longer. You do you!

Exactly. It's very sneery.

I had my first at 21. I owned my own home then. Wasnt married (still not although should have been last year!) But totally stable. Have a comfortable life now at 26.

Don't understand the "impromptu holiday" thing. We still did that while ds was in nursery.... You're not tied down until they're are school.

allycat4 · 14/08/2021 11:43

I think it's a brilliant age to get started.

Honeyandcondensedmilkplease · 14/08/2021 11:47

No. I believe 'young mums' are usually considered to be under 20. Some groups for young mothers are for 24 & under. But 25 is not a young mum. I am 25 and expecting number 4, I haven't felt like a young mum for a number of years.

Orangemochafrappacino · 14/08/2021 11:49

Its always heavily implied though @JulesCobb and @girlmom21. There are a few comments on the first few pages and several after your posts too, and if you look through similar threads it's the same.

I agree with future proofing before you have children but often on MN that needs to mean six figure salaries and big houses in London when that's just not reality for lots of people and never will be.

Enko · 14/08/2021 11:52

25 would not make me think anything rather than " oh nice" if pregnancy was announced.

I don't think it's young I don't think it's old just an average age to have a child in.

Givemebackmylilo · 14/08/2021 11:55

Totally agree @Orangemochafrappacino

VanillaSpiceCandle · 14/08/2021 11:58

Of course it’s young - the average age is 29. However I think it’s more important to have bought a house before children rather than your actual age. Not only will you likely earn less due to maternity leave/not progressing as quickly/going part time, you’ll be lent less as you’ll have a dependent.

girlmama32 · 14/08/2021 12:02

No I don't think that's too young at all, I had my DD at 26 and most of the people I know my age either already had kids or were thinking about it.

Miseryl · 14/08/2021 12:07

No not at all. I think it can sometimes be easier having a baby at a young age as your body is at its prime for pregnancy/child birth and also because you are more flexible/your life without kids isn't as set in stone. Adapting after decades of adult life without kids can be a lot more difficult.

ShingleBeach · 14/08/2021 12:09

Who cares?

Do what is right for you and your DP.

lap90 · 14/08/2021 12:28

What does your partner want?

CayrolBaaaskin · 14/08/2021 12:29

It would be in my area - most are at least mid 30s

CayrolBaaaskin · 14/08/2021 12:33

I don’t think it’s necessarily too young though op- do what’s right for you. It is a lot younger than average. You do get quite a few threads of people with kids who can’t afford to buy a house so it’s worth trying to sort things like that before getting hit with childcare costs. But depends on your circumstances of course