AIBU husband and waitress?

[Millionnewnames]

Husband and I own a small cafe. We live in the flat above with my parents. We have two young girls working for us front of house, they are delightful and hardworking.
After noticing we were running low on a few things in the kitchen I went down into the cellar to get them and found one of the waitresses draped around my husband. I furiously asked WTF he was doing and he called me ‘a stupid woman’ and told me the girl had fainted after seeing a huge spider clambering about in the onions. He was stopping her from hurting herself as she fell.
I’m not sure what to think now.

P.s lighthearted. Bored. Guess the show and add your own.

I’ve got a bit of a different problem - it’s with my colleague. We’ve known each other forever and he’s my best friend (though don’t ever tell him I said that) but he winds me up constantly. For a start, he’s a complete and utter slob. I pride myself on my appearance - one should, after all, dress for the job one wants - but he is the sort of guy who thinks it’s acceptable to colour in the holes in his trousers with a black marker. He keeps growing Mold in cups and no word of a lie, I once saw him eating food out of a bin. The biggest problem is that I am very career minded - in fact many years ago I was his manager - and I always wanted to progress very high in my career. On the other hand he is only in the job for the perks. I won’t bore you with the details but through a series of events that ABSOLUTELY weren’t my fault we’re now both in charge. I’m livid that he now holds the same position as me, especially as I now have attained the de facto role I always dreamed of (by virtue of there being no one else to do it). He’s even promoted the bloody cat into an equal position to me. It’s stressing me out so much I feel dead most of the time. AIBU to wish I was in a different timeline where I was rich, famous and shacked up with a supermodel?

Looking for advice here. I am a Nurse on a male surgical ward. I have 3 of the worst patients ever. One is a hypochondriac who thinks all women fancy him ( they don't!). One fancies himself as Lenin, and the third one is a real mummy's boy. The Doctor on the ward is a bad tempered git who bears a strong resemblance to Victor Meldrew. How do I keep from going nuts!?

The Doctor on the ward is a bad tempered git who bears a strong resemblance to Victor Meldrew.

I'm DYING!!! 🤣🤣

This thread is hilarious

Oh MNHQ, can this thread please be in classics?

Pretty please?

Please put this thread in classics. It's the funniest thread I have seen in ages - and clever too. Hats off to the OP.

Please help. DD appears to be having a gender identity crisis and won’t answer us unless we call her by a shortened boy version of her name (won’t say what as it’s outing). DH doesn’t have any time for us as he’s always working and doing his hobby (can’t say what as it’s outing).

I’m really worried because she spends all her time with her cousins and they’re constantly in trouble with the police. I’m terrified she’s going to end up in trouble, she won’t talk to me, in fact the only time she speaks to me is to ask me to make them picnics.

She’s also oddly attached to the family dog. Please help.

I'm on a campsite and it's a nightmare. Someone bloody squeezed toothpaste in my eye on purpose when I was in a washroom. I get woken by schoolgirls (who look about 30) doing aerobics outside my tent. One of the campers looks like Terry from Terry and June and his wife has a bloody awful laugh that drives me mad. Now a bunch of partying hippies has turned up. Groan
.

I miss Allo Allo!

I have a handsome, very hard-working DH, but he is often distracted, snd flutters off engaging in his hobby, and I am often left feeling a bit lonely.
I do have two grown sons at home, but they are selfish layabouts, who have nothing positive to offer.

I have recently bumped into a charming man who seems to be very interested in me, just for me.
AIBU to consider having an affair?

And for any of our mates from the land down under --
our Aussie friends out theeya...

My adult son, who lives with me, is so disappointing.
He is divorced from what's her name.
My other son is so successful, and I'm so proud of 'im.

AIBU to wish my other son would come 'round more often?
He is fabulous.

...now, where did I put that kettle....?

(l love, love, love this show! )

@Yourstupidityexhaustsme
I think you are being a helicopter parent. It’s good for young people to show some independence and get out in the fresh air. I suggest they try a caravan holiday next. Just make sure you include lashing of ginger beer in the picnic.

DH has lied to me about his twat of a father being dead!
Bit of background - I'm from a poor background but did ok for myself getting a position to the adopted daughter of the top guy, I almost immediately fell in love with his son, though his dad put so many obstacles in the way that we couldn't be together.
After the old man 'died' he took over the top spot and we were about to get married, when for some reason my ex (who was also meant to be dead) came back and I started an affair, I mean he's pretty fit but I honestly don't know what came over me at all, maybe I was ovulating and under that spell?
Anyway I was thrown out and left, but managed to persuade my now DH that I'm great really and he forgave me and we got married.
Just starting to live happily ever after and FIL suddenly 'rises from the dead' and tries to set the kitchen on fire with me in it after trying to bump me off several different ways already. DHs PA saved me luckily, but when I told DH his dead dad tried to kill me he's concocted this cock and bull story about summoning him from the dead! How dumb does he think I am?! FIL is looking quite pale and almost see through ATM, but still, it's not on is it?
WIBU to ltb and let him and daddy get on with it?
Or stick it out and insist DH goes NC with FIL (or give him time to 'banish the ghost' as he puts it? 🤨🙄)
I don't have a running away fund, all the money is his, but I could probably scrape enough together to get away and have some transferrable skills from my old job that should stand me in good stead. No kids.
I love DH but I'm really not happy about FILs behaviour tbh!

I share a flat with my friend and we are supposed to be going on holiday to Torremolenos but lack the necessary funds, AIBU to suggest that she sells her antique commode to make up the shortfall?

We are young, fashionable, and live in a lively city but we've been having boyfriend issues recently and really need a break.