WIBU to look into pressing charges.

[jellypopmummy]

My DD11 goes to a youth club which has some kids with asn. Tonight at the end of summer trip one of the older kids Boy, 14 (I think) was pestering her and her friends, being a bit abusive My daughter got up to move away and he pushed her down and pulled at her legs while she was on the floor. She managed to get up and he continued to try and get her legs to knock her back down and her friends got between to let her get a bit of distance. He kept coming eventually putting her in a choke hold, punching her neck and face, getting her down and kicking her full force in the back. Eventually she with her friends help got to the youth group leaders and he was separated from the group and parents called to collect him.

Her friends mum dropped her off but was unaware of all this happening until my daughter and her friend told us what happened. I immediately messaged the leader asking what had happened etc. She phoned me and explained what they were aware of. Turns out as she was upset my DD didn't explain the full incident so they only knew of 1 punch and a kick not the beating on the floor etc. I said it seemed like a pretty serious assault, my DD has a bruise on her cheek, scrapes on her knee and shoulders and her back is sore and that my DH and I were considering contacting the police as while I understood the boy had ASN it was a really violent incident and I couldn't just excuse it. The group are going to contact his parents to advise of the full issue.

My DD has a session tomorrow (different group so the boy won't be there) and has been asked to give details of the stuff they were unaware of for the incident report. My DH and I have decided to look at martial art classes to build her confidence (she pushed him off her and tried to defend herself) but WIBU to take it further with the police.

You're the adult @jellypopmummy you need to go to the police on your DDS behalf.
She's not old enough to make that call.
Might save some poor girl getting a hiding from him.
Also police might know of him already and your DDS assault might just push them to do something.

You “don’t reach out to the police” - you contact them to report the crime. The police may already be aware of the offender and they may need this offence to escalate any further action.

Take it to the police. Show your daughter that this behaviour is not ok. Stand up for her.

@MiloAndEddie

I’d also report and I’d be asking where the fuck the group leaders were for a sustained attack to happen without them knowing

I was thinking the same thing. If the attacker has additional needs then surely he should have appropriate support/supervision?

Please reconsider and do report to police, this needs logging. If he does this with no represcusions he will think this is acceptable behaviour.

OP

You do need to report it to the police

I beg you

When someone throttles someone else it's a serious assault let alone the rest

It's not on your DDs shoulders nor should it be

You have got to step up and report it

For so many reasons

Please do

Because next time his - not meaning to- throttling may crush someone's windpipe and it will be a child death

He has no repercussions now. I don't care whether he has Autism or not, because they need to risk assess
Next time when he takes out legs and drops someone to the ground to carry on hurting them, they may hit their head and not survive it

This is not a minor incident

Your daughter needs support and this boy, whether he has additional need or not, has a temper and level of physical aggression that needs risk assessing.

My DD was hesitant and looked upset at the mention of police

She should be upset, she's been seriously assaulted. Please report this.

What will you say in a few years when she asks why you let him get away with it?

Yes you should. No idea what ASN is.

Throttling is a high risk factor in intimate partner violence, viz: victims of domestic abuse who have been throttled during their relationship are seven times more likely to go on to be killed than those who have not. Report this offence.

Throttling is a high risk factor in intimate partner violence,

Exactly he needs to be stopped before anything worse happens and ops description it could have been much worse.

@DeflatedGinDrinker

No don't report just get her to speak to strangers on mn that will solve it.

Yes agree, some of those strangers can be complete twats.

Your poor daughter I can understand that she may feel reluctant to go to the police as she is only 11. She may worry that they will be cross with her/ask questions she can't answer etc.

However, as the adult, I would absolutely report this to the police as soon as possible. Photograph her injuries as well.

Yes, the boy in question has additional needs but that absolutely does not make it ok for him to go around randomly attacking people! Either the leaders should be with him at all times or a parent needs to stay.

Please report it OP, for your daughter's sake and to protect others in the group.

For goodness sake people!

The OP has this. She just needed a moment to compose herself for the sake of her DD and turned to the MN collective for support. Remember, there is a young traumatised young child at the heart of this and quite rightly, that’s where the OP’s focus was, with her DD (which included getting support and reassurance from more level headed MNetters). How would have an all guns blazing approach helped her DD? I can’t imagine what it must have been like to present a calm and measured exterior, whilst simultaneously processing anger sadness at what has happened.

Knee jerk, ‘he shouldn’t be allowed out’ without a carer statements aren’t helpful and are an over simplification of a complex situation and don’t get me started, on the suggestion of a possible sexual motivation to the attack.

In the cold light of day, the OP will speak to who she needs to speak to and I hope she, her DD and her DD’s friends get the support they need.

Huge hugs Op.

Please report it to the police. Youth club seems to have reacted reasonably in my opinion and perhaps you should acknowledge this to them.