To ask what were the nicest things people did or said when you had a newborn?

[TheLovleyChebbyMcGee]

I've been reading the other thread and its frankly horrible to see so many women treated so badly by other people when they are so vulnerable!!

So let's have send nice things instead?

I'll start. A very pregnant friend came over to visit when DS was only a few weeks old, she stayed for only a short time, refused all refreshments and brought us food that we heated for dinner that night, but could also have put in the freezer.

My other one is also food based, a good friend of mine brought dinner over, we heated it, ate, then watched movies for hours keeping my company while DH slept and I cluster fed DS. DS had really bad reflux and would only sleep upright cuddled into either DH or I, so we spent a lot of time watching netflix/films etc to keep us awake while DS slept safely on us. DH and I slept in shifts and it was a very isolating time for me!

I'm not sure if my friend knew how much it meant to me to be a friend in that time!

My in laws send a beautiful bunch of flowers to me to say thank you and to say they know it can be a difficult time and all attention on the baby. It was a very sweet gesture.

My mum telling me she was proud of me and the mum I had become. We dont have that sort of relationship normally but it felt very genuine and nuturing to hear.

Just receiving a congratulations card from a team I worked with long ago - it was so thoughtful of them and made me well up.

With first, my work friends and boss had a whip round and brought so many lovely things like a sleep bag, rattles, books. The neighbour came round with a huge nappy cake! Other neighbours bought baby suits. Next door neighbour came with a gorgeous baby blanket. Even husbands company sent a huge flower and wine bundle. Mums teminally ill best friend was itching to meet him and send a huge moon pig card with his weight, date of birth, name etc and his name specially made in wooden letters to form a toy train. Mil and fil overstayed on the ward 4 hours while i kept shuffling up the corridor making them tea. With the second, neighbours sent lovely things, flowers from work, but a few cards and home made meals from the school mums as we startes school in the Sept and she came in the Oct, was really sweet. Many of his school friends were having younger siblings and the dads all shook husbands hand and gave them a bit of a congrats when they were all born.

My mum was going to come visit me every morning, but there was a risk that her arrival might coincide with the best nap of the day. I honestly LIVED for that nap. She and I were working out a plan for how she could establish whether I was asleep and let herself in without disturbing me.

DH interjected, "Oh, just knock on the door. Saracen won't mind getting up to let you in!" Mum told him very firmly that Saracen NEEDED that nap and nothing on earth was going to interrupt it. My mum was usually very mild-mannered, but she gave DH a piece of her mind!

Best friend came round when he was a week old specifically look after baby whilst I had a long bath and pumped.
I was a complete mess on my own and she just messaged and said she was coming over 🤣

so many things, but it's past 3am & I'm half asleep so I can't think of anything apart from our cleaner turning up, taking baby and sending me to have a shower.
she made me a cuppa, helped me settle on the sofa then got on with the job.

She worked for us for 4 years, became a friend and I sobbed my eyes out when she had to move. I still miss her.

A newborn survival kit with lots of useful presents for me and baby! Felt so isolated during COVID and was so touched by the gift. Also, husband taking amazing care of me during lockdown and especially first 8 weeks post birth. He brought me food, cleaned, helped bathe and dress me, settled the baby at night and gave me the anti blood clotting injections. I desperately needed to be taken care of although I hated to admit it and he went beyond.

Gosh, so many. I work in a very male industry: I’m the only woman. Men you aren’t related to were not allowed in your suite after 8pm. So I seemed to amass six brothers of various ethnic origin for a week after birth. I was on my first warzone trip post baby, and my period hit. My very masculine, usually insensitive colleague opened up his backpack and explained all the different pads and tampons options he’d brought just in case. He had written notes.

All the people who told me how glowing and beautiful I was in the weeks after birth when I didn’t understand why my tummy wasn’t flat and I only saw exhaustion, and I felt self conscious. When my neurosurgeon popped by my room after I gave birth and hid my heels and suit, which I had brought in case there was a work emergency. Our security guard’s wife made us the most amazing snacks every day for a month after birth. A colleague rearranging my office furniture to ensure I could see the cot at all times. My dad coming to Saudi on a business trip with me and taking care of my 2mo son every day, despite being terrified of being in the Kingdom.

This thread is so lovely!

I was the first of all my friends to have a baby so the fact that so many of them thought to bring meals that could go in the freezer then the microwave, little but helpful gifts (including packs of nappies and wipes) and offers to help. My first evening on my own a friend was supposed to just meet the baby and say hello and she arrived with a full meal and bottle of wine and cleaned and tidied while I cluster fed

My old colleagues in the job I’d left more than a year earlier arranged a Sainsbury’s delivery with lavender bath salts, decent shower gel for me AND DH, cookies, some microwaveable meals, wine - it was the most brilliant care package and now I live abroad I’ve recreated it for each of my friends that have had babies

My parents lived in France when DS was born and came to stay for a week when he was a few weeks old. He had colic and would scream all night. One night DH was bouncing him on the ball almost falling asleep himself despite the screams and my dad just tiptoed into our bedroom, gently took DS, picked up the Moses basket on his way out and quietly shut the door without a word. DH just crawled into bed and we both fell asleep - waking in the morning to find DS swaddled and sleeping soundly in the Moses basket back next to my side of the bed. My parents were amazing on many levels but that really stood out

My brother was staying in London but was a student when DS was born and again I was trying to settle DS late evening and he said go to bed, I can bounce on a ball with him. I left the Moses basket saying if you manage to get him in it just bring it down to my room expecting him to then go to bed in the spare room. When I woke up at 4am properly engorged I found DS asleep in the Moses basket in the living room with my brother curled up on the floor around the basket!

And finally on a flight back from seeing my parents for Christmas in France, DS was only about 8weeks old and crying during the descent, a little old lady with a remarkably wrinkled face in front of me turned around and made faces at him which distracted him enough to make him giggle and stop crying! I thank that woman in my heart because all the tuts from the other passengers were really upsetting me!

What a lovely thread! With my first (expecting dc2) I found people were so kind.

However I genuinely owe everything to two midwives who helped me out on Christmas Eve at a small community hospital. Had horrendous mastitis and infection and didn’t know what I was doing, had just battled on with bfing despite all evidence I needed help. They lent me a pump and a steriliser, and gave us as much formula as they had. They sent my Dh to Tesco with a shopping list and made us cups of tea. The best part was when one of them rang not only my GP to demand an emergency appointment but also then rang my midwives and left a very angry voicemail message berating them for discharging me the previous day!
Honestly it was the first time I felt that I was seen as equally important as the baby, and my needs were to be taken seriously. I will be forever grateful.

The nicest thing someone did for me was to tell me that it was OK not to be enjoying every minute of motherhood.

I was walking in our local country park when DS2 was 2 or 3 days old. A lovely elderly couple peered into his pram, cooed over him - then the gentleman said - 'Isn't he wonderful? I hope he has a long and happy life'. And then they pottered off.

I'll never forget that. And now when I meet my friends' newborn babies I always wish them a long and happy life.

This is a bit of a reverse but my DIL recently gave birth. We brought her home to ours for a week to give her some rest and respite. During that time, I made her a healthy and filling breakfast in bed every day and took trays of food up to her for lunch & dinner whenever she was too tired to come down. We also took over most nappy changes for the week and all the baby baths, laundry and bed sheet changes. She was already sleep deprived from labour when she came from the hospital so the first 2 days after she came home from hospital we took over night duty until 5am as the baby was super alert for those two nights.
I loved caring for her and for my grandchild for that one week and she was super grateful. A new mother needs rest and support in the early days and it's so sad that now, in our communities so many are just sent home alone to fend for themselves.

With my second 9 pound baby born at home. I tore a lot and had 3 layers of stitching. My MIL turned up with a doughnut cushion. I could have cried with relief. It was the best thing ever.

As a slightly bewildered new mum with a newborn in the hospital the midwife came to do the new baby checks my little girl cried at the hip check and the midwife passed her to me and I awkwardly comforted her (having never held a newborn before my own). The midwife smiled and said "oh she knows her mummy, lucky girl- you're a natural".
I'm sure now it's just a nice thing she says to everyone but it meant so much to me and gave me a lovely confidence boost when I felt fully like a fish out of water. Just so kind.

My partners ex bought me a sippy water bottle I could drink from laying down etc as she knew I was having a section and breastfeeding so knew I'd constantly be thirsty. As well as chocolate, and snacks as she knew I'd be ravenous! She also brought my step kids to the hospital to meet their newest sister (even if I had to get a bit forceful with the staff to let them on to meet her). Those both meant the world to me.

My family were all amazing. Constantly bringing food and giving plenty of cuddles so I could shower etc as she was a rather demanding little one, especially when DP had to return to work. Those simple acts, even just knowing I'd need some company were great.

They all took my son out and made sure he felt special too when I was exhausted or overwhelmed with having a newborn again!