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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think he hasn't got a hope in hell of doing this?

85 replies

MrsOnedin · 10/08/2021 15:06

DP and I are both mid-50s. He loves sailing and his dream is to buy a yacht and sail around the world. It's all he talks about.

He is on a low income with no savings. He spent his life savings on getting a Skipper qualification last year.

AIBU to think this dream is never going to happen? I don't want to be nay-sayer but I don't want to encourage a pipe dream either and wonder if I should gently discourage him. (Does that sound awful?)

Unfortunately I don't have the money to buy him a yacht.

OP posts:
SchrodingersImmigrant · 10/08/2021 15:10

We all like to have some driver dream.
I for example research desilate properties around Med which I would like to repair and retire there at 50 😁
And yes. I keep sending links to DH😂

pineapplecat21 · 10/08/2021 15:13

Maybe he could rent one? Or something? I think YABU if it's truly his dream... when there's a will there's a way.. but you need to work at it.
I would tell him if he really wants to do it then he should be realistic and do it.

daisycottage · 10/08/2021 15:13

Aw, bless him. Could he possibly offer some labour in return for a place on a yacht that's going somewhere, so he can have the experience without having to actually buy a yacht?

endofthelinefinally · 10/08/2021 15:16

I am sure there are various schemes for volunteers to crew expeditions.

Foobydoo · 10/08/2021 15:16

Yatches csn be expensive to run. Could he use his qualification to get a job at sea? He would have more chance getting a first mate or ship mate position on a smaller expedition then he could work up from there. I would imagine you would need to either be very rich have a sponsor or be a successful vlogger to be able to fund such a trip.

daisycottage · 10/08/2021 15:18

dsp.uk.com/volunteer/volunteer-detail/

daisycottage · 10/08/2021 15:19

www.crewseekers.net/

daisycottage · 10/08/2021 15:20

Sounds like there are lots of opportunities out there if he gets looking. His dream could sort of come true after all.

sirfredfredgeorge · 10/08/2021 15:22

Does he work for the council and do the kids call him bogey?

Niconacotaco · 10/08/2021 15:23

@sirfredfredgeorge Grin

BizzyIzzyfruitpie · 10/08/2021 15:24

I’d leave him to it. He probably doesn’t need you to point out it’s unlikely to happen.

theoldtrout01876 · 10/08/2021 15:24

My husband was the same a few years back. He ended up taking a loan and buying a 28 foot sailing boat that needed work but was very sea worthy. I was not amused but hey what could I do at that point?. He sold it as soon as the reality of keeping a boat, as opposed to sailing around on a boat, became apparent. Way too much time, effort and money involved. That is now out his system dont mention the buying a farm in spain to retire to

3womeninaboat · 10/08/2021 15:24

Someone told me recently that they made more than 100k per year as yacht crew working out of a Mediterranean port, no idea how attainable that is but might be something to look into. There are personnel agencies for that.

MackieMayor · 10/08/2021 15:25

@sirfredfredgeorge

Does he work for the council and do the kids call him bogey?

@sirfredfredgeorge 😊😊😊

3womeninaboat · 10/08/2021 15:26

Also I knew someone who had a job sailing purchased second hand yachts to their new owners.

LuxOlente · 10/08/2021 15:28

Tell him he can have his dream but stop talking about it unless he actually takes steps towards it.

Inthemuckheap · 10/08/2021 15:30

Do you own your house? If so is it in both your names?

I can imagine he thinks he can sell house and buy a yacht and use left over to fund his dream.....

honeylulu · 10/08/2021 15:30

Just nod and smile. If he sorts out something then you haven't been discouraging. If he doesn't then you haven't invested too much hope and energy in it yourself.

My husband always used to go on about big ideas/ adventures he was going to have, even though some of them weren't conducive to family life or finances which I found worrying. However he never managed to get organised or save money so none came to fruition. I just learnt to smile and tune out.

MyriadeOfThings · 10/08/2021 15:30

@LuxOlente

Tell him he can have his dream but stop talking about it unless he actually takes steps towards it.
You sound like fun… Hmm
godmum56 · 10/08/2021 15:31

why on earth would anybody want to discourage a dream?

Bargebill19 · 10/08/2021 15:31

Not sailing -but we had a friend who was previously a company director ( pharmaceutical). He decided to retire and become a pig farmer. As a retirement present we bought him a weekend course in how to look after pigs.
He never mentioned the pigs again! He got into diy and boats instead.

MrsTerryPratchett · 10/08/2021 15:32
Grin
purplewolfie · 10/08/2021 15:32

I know a couple in their 60s that did this. They weren't high earners, but they were equally committed to it I guess?

lannistunut · 10/08/2021 15:33

Unless he plans to sell your house from under you, what harm is a dream?

I often daydream, mine is about living on a canal boat once the kids leave home. I live in a town with no canal Grin but maybe I will move? Probably not, but the thought cheers me up.