To think he hasn't got a hope in hell of doing this?

[MrsOnedin]

DP and I are both mid-50s. He loves sailing and his dream is to buy a yacht and sail around the world. It's all he talks about.

He is on a low income with no savings. He spent his life savings on getting a Skipper qualification last year.

AIBU to think this dream is never going to happen? I don't want to be nay-sayer but I don't want to encourage a pipe dream either and wonder if I should gently discourage him. (Does that sound awful?)

Unfortunately I don't have the money to buy him a yacht.

Yes let him get on with it as far as he is able. I'm curious though ... he owns no property though you describe him as "independent". Does he live in your property without contribution? If so I'd feel rather scathing of him blowing his life savings on what is essentially a hobby while you fund his everyday existence.

Has he hinted that you might downsize your property to release some funds to help him with his "dream"? If not, fair enough but how on earth is he going to fund a boat any other way.

Sorry to seem so negative but I've seen this dynamic at work i.e. that the dreamer can't possibly be expected to live a boring normal life because they are a free spirit/adventurer/explorer but can't fund their own adventures either so expect the boring folk to put their hand in their pocket funny that.

la Vagabond

Is your dp aware of La Vagabond? It’s a couple who are sailing around the world. It may fuel his dreams and/or give him a taste of the hard work it entails.

You know what OP, just let him dream. Last time I needed a new sleeping bag, I bought a 5 season down one, because one day, you know, in the back of my mind, I’m going to trek to Everest base camp. I know I’m 50 with 2 preteens and a mortgage and I’ll be working til I’m 75, i know it’s pretty unlikely, but I
Like to think of my sleeping bag, and where I’m going to use it when I’m in a Teams mtg that could have been an email.

@sirfredfredgeorge

Quite possibly the funniest line I have read on here.

I see your finances are totally separate. In that case I’d just smile and nod, unless you feel he’s hinting for financial assistance, in which case I’d remind him you’re still saving for your tour around Paris with Brad Pitt.

Oh yes, I forgot about my tour around France with Brad!

I believe he is familiar with la Vagabond. I'm sure I have been 'treated' to an episode or two in the past.

There is never any hint that I should help fund this in the 15 years we have been together.

Thank you all for the input.

If he isn't asking for money or involvement from you, I don't think it's necessary to crush his dreams. He obviously knows its unrealistic or he would be doing it by now. The fact that he is avoiding looking in to more realistic options like crewing a boat, leads me to think he might not even really want to do it. Sometimes people prefer to have a fantasy and don't want to ruin it by actually doing the thing.

Is the issue that he is annoying you by constantly talking about it, particularly complaining that he can't do it right now. If yes I see that would be annoying, and I think it would be fair to ask him to reduce the amount of that.

I bet he takes no lip off nobody.
If it’s the money in his kitty I don’t see a problem?
Look, he’s probably gonna buy a dinghy

@sirfredfredgeorge

Does he work for the council and do the kids call him bogey?

Sorry, ripped you off but couldn’t resist!

OP, you’ll be on your holidays and he’ll be doing the rounds 😊

Sometimes people prefer to have a fantasy and don't want to ruin it by actually doing the thing.

I think you may have hit the nail on the head TreeSmuggler.

The talking about it doesn't bother me too much as I can tune out.

Thank you all; I am going to take the nod and smile approach and won't let reality intrude on this dream.