To be furious with my mum's car-damaging neighbour?

[fourminutestosavetheworld]

About six months ago, as my mum sat in her stationary car outside her house, the opposite neighbour reversed out of his driveway and hit her car.

He was initially livid that she was parked in front of her own house but his wife was calmer, apologised and took responsibility. They persuaded by mum not to put it through the insurance and said that they would pay if she got the work done privately - I know, I strongly advised against this at the time.

She's in her 80s and on her own. Over the past six months she's been in hospital after a brain haemorrhage but we still found time to find someone who would repair her car as cheaply as possible. We got lots of quotes and she was determined to make it as cheap as possible for his benefit (they've got a young family).

Went round yesterday to tell him it was £600 and he laughed and told us to fuck off. We asked if he'd pay half - no. He shouted 'you're lucky I'm not making you pay for mine.' I'd have stood my ground but my mum was crying and begging me to leave it.

There's nothing we can do is there?

Perfect recipient for a burning bag of dog shit on his doorstep

Halloween isn't that far off. I'd be loading up the local children with eggs, glue and flour and sending them in the direction of the Bogey Man's house, all whilst whistling innocently.

@fourminutestosavetheworld

Reading that at least one pp thought £600 was expensive I'm wondering whether they also thought that, maybe thought my mum had taken the car to a main dealership or was trying to make a profit. She did ask if they'd pay half, in the end, but they said no to that too.

I rang her earlier. She won't phone the insurer now because she's worried about being in trouble for not reporting it at the time, and she won't report to police or go to small claims because she basically thinks he'll make her life miserable if she does anything at all. So I guess that's the end of it. I hope £600 of damage befalls his car some time soon though!

She will not be in any trouble with the insurers.

And your DM is entitled to take her car wherever she wants for repair. Bit pointless reporting to the police though, they'll not do anything.

@Fiddliestofsticks

And btw, almost all insurance policies require you to report any accidents or damage. So her insurance is no longer valid.

Horseshit.

I’d be slashing his tyres and considering some other revenge tactics without telling your mum.

Tyres are cheap to replace (or can be, mine aren't), I'd be punching holes into the skin of his doors and quarter panels with a screwdriver in the night if it was me.

I’m not sure I could let him get away with not paying -and frightening an elderly lady.

It’s a shame she lives so far away. (I’d have the same issue).

Not in relation to getting payment t from the neighbour but rather addressing how your mother feels and as your experience with your brief interaction with this foul fellow, get a cheap dash cam for your mum and ring door bell in case anything else should happen as well to give her a sense of security. Your poor mum having to live near such a bas**ard.

If you want the money find a few guys or strong looking women to go around. It really does work. Normally when faced with someone bigger or even better someone who seems like they have nothing to loose these people pay up. I know from very real experience.

Horseshit

Every car insurance policy I’ve ever had requires notification of an accident even if no claim being made. It’s not a stretch of the imagination to believe that a policy could be terminated for non-disclosure.

@LemonRoses

Wwhat you have to lose by going via your insurance is that your mother appears to have failed to notify her insurers that she has been involved in an accident. That has probably invalidated her insurance.

It won't

Whilst insurers require you to report an accident within 24 hours nothing will happen if you don't.

I'd ring them and report it tell them what happened and they can pursue his insurers.
They'll write to his insurance company which will automatically set up a claim on his policy.

Your mum will be refunded the £600 less her xs and the recovery will become the insurers problem.

He'll be sorry because his premium will go up which is what he wanted to avoid in the first place.
Reassure your mum he can't do anything to her if he doesn't want to get into trouble with the police.

We had similar and the damage was /
£400 and this was years ago.

She claimed responsibility so didn't affect our insurance. She initially wanted to pay but took so long we said she had until the end of the week to pay so she went through insurance instead.

@Aprilx

You might as well call the insurance company and see what they say. But I do think it with the repair already done and after so long, it would not go anywhere.

I'd be wary about informing the insurance company, at one time if you had an accident but decided not to claim it would still adversely influence your renewal, they took the view that you were more liable to have another accident!

Insurance and police. It's not too late.

Ordinarily I'd say go to insurance and police.

But did your mum tell the DVLA about her brain hemorrhage? Usually there's a medical ban of 6-12 months. If she hasn't then she risks implicating herself for driving without insurance and having her policy cancelled.

@BlaiseAnais

Ordinarily I'd say go to insurance and police.

But did your mum tell the DVLA about her brain hemorrhage? Usually there's a medical ban of 6-12 months. If she hasn't then she risks implicating herself for driving without insurance and having her policy cancelled.

She did actually. She had to complete details online and then wait for a decision before she could drive again.

Her insurance will have a clause saying you need to notify them of accidents within 48 hours or whatever. I suspect if you contact them you'll get nothing but a bump in her next premium renewal as they'd refuse to pay out but record it as a 'notification' on their system (and it's shared with other insurers so you can't just shop elsewhere).

I contacted insurers once when my handbag was nicked with car keys inside, I wanted to know if I was obliged to change locks of my ancient car. They said it was up to me, then next renewal I was charged an extra £100 for having made a 'notification' that I was at extra risk.

Careful with insurers, they're absolute shits.

Op, I'd definitely feel the same as you, but she's an adult, she's saying don't pursue it, she has to live opposite him and it's her decision to pay for the repair. If she's sure, leave it at that and put it behind you both.

In which case.

Insurance and police.

He can't get away with harassing her.

@BlaiseAnais

In which case.

Insurance and police.

He can't get away with harassing her.

He isn't harassing her though.

After all this time there is no proof of who did what. It will end up S just her word against his if she has no proof.

He is a wanker though.

@MissMarplesGoddaughter

OP - have you thought about contacting the Trading Standards Officer at your local council?

Of all the bizarre suggestions I’ve ever read here this one’s right up there!

Sorry for your mum, OP, but in all honesty I’d do what she’s decided to do. Sometimes it’s just easier to put this kind of thing behind you and move on.

Just tell him you are now going through the insurance and ask him for his insurer. (you dont actually need it just the reg). That may prompt him to pay.

It's hard to believe someone could be so cruel to an elderly lady. It's actually really quite heartbreaking.

I would make sure the neighbours know what they've done though. I don't think your mum will want to tell them, so you should. Hopefully they'll think about their actions when everyone else on the street stops saying hi to them and taking in their parcels.

I'd be tempted to tell the insurers. Had the same once. Guy drove into the back of me. Didn't want to go through insurance. All very amicable, he needed to get home with medicine for his sick kid, I was happy to exchange details and sort it out together later. He came round the next day and knocked dent out then said he'd help with purchase of new 2nd hand car if mine failed its MoT the next week. He worked for a dealer. It failed due to lots of rust, so it was essentially a scrapper. Told him this and he then went quiet on me, and refused my calls. Called insurance and told them everything. They asked what I wanted. I said I know I've done everything wrong, and wouldn't get anything for car, but tbh all I want now is a black mark on his insurance because he'd been such a lying bastard. Ended up with £400 for my worthless (it was very old anyway) car from insurance, and hopefully he lost his no claims. I'd have been more than happy with a couple of hundred off a new old banger from his lot, but hey, his loss!

Small claims court will handle this. No way her car could have jumped sideways into his. You have photos. Cosst about £80 to start. Give him 14 days to pay and if no payment received proceed with claim.

Jusges not interested in loads. Just, "he hit my car, he did not want to go through insurance, he asked me to get it done privately and he would pay costs. Cost was £600 and now he won't pay"

Or... take this as a lesson learned and move on accepting £600 lost.

Or... get a bloody great sledge hammer and whack his car in the dead of night for revenge!!! (joke!)