To be furious with my mum's car-damaging neighbour?

[fourminutestosavetheworld]

About six months ago, as my mum sat in her stationary car outside her house, the opposite neighbour reversed out of his driveway and hit her car.

He was initially livid that she was parked in front of her own house but his wife was calmer, apologised and took responsibility. They persuaded by mum not to put it through the insurance and said that they would pay if she got the work done privately - I know, I strongly advised against this at the time.

She's in her 80s and on her own. Over the past six months she's been in hospital after a brain haemorrhage but we still found time to find someone who would repair her car as cheaply as possible. We got lots of quotes and she was determined to make it as cheap as possible for his benefit (they've got a young family).

Went round yesterday to tell him it was £600 and he laughed and told us to fuck off. We asked if he'd pay half - no. He shouted 'you're lucky I'm not making you pay for mine.' I'd have stood my ground but my mum was crying and begging me to leave it.

There's nothing we can do is there?

What an appalling man. To take advantage of an elderly ill neighbour, knowing that the accident was entirely his own fault.
Even though your DM does not want to pursue this now, I would write everything down, keep a record of all of it, including photos, quotes, invoices, etc. for future reference in case he causes further trouble in future. For the same reason it would be best to log this incident with the police if your DM agrees. People like this man will act in a similar way again. Can you appeal to the wife's better nature? They have been downright dishonest so far.

@ShutUpaYourFace

Finding it hard to believe a slow reversing collision would cause £600 worth of damage. Seems strange the neighbours persuaded her not to make a claim, yet they are now so unwilling to pay, even half. There must have been damage to his car. Did she get photos??? Something just seems odd about this post

This happened to me around 17 years ago. Same things, I was sitting stationary and a car reversed out of the drive way opposite and got mine. Again he didn't want to go through insurance and said he would pay. I had the car fixed and at the time it cost £300. So it's believable that it would cost £600 now. I struggled to get him to pay and had to go to his door several times. He eventually paid up but that was after several excuses why he couldn't pay. It's very stressful having to do this and I hope your mum gets it sorted soon.

Call the insurance company.

It might be too late but they’ll be able to advise and if not their standard of proof will be a lot lower than the small claims court.

I did the same thing about 2 years ago. I damaged the wheel arch of my neighbours car and he got a quote for £700. He didn’t want me to go through insurance as he was worried his insurance would go up but my excess was only £50 so it would have cost me £650 to not go through insurance (plus a bit dodgy). In the end my insurance said I didn’t have to pay anything as the excess only applied to my car and they sorted everything out. I felt bad for my neighbour as it was 100% my fault and he was inconvenienced by it but not bad enough to pay cash to save his insurance going up. Not sure how much it would have effected it as mine only went up by £20.

Anyway, he’s a twat, a bully, and he’s not going to pay unless forced. Your mother is elderly and it wasn’t her fault so she has nothing to lose by contacting her insurance now and explaining that bullying and intimidating man talked her into letting him sort it out, and also the police if she feels inclined. My insurance company were unbelievably nice to me and I was in the wrong. Even if her insurance goes up it’s not going to be by £600.

I’d be slashing his tyres and considering some other revenge tactics without telling your mum.

I don’t know if there are other neighbours nearby but if so I’d be making them aware too of what’s gone on. To take advantage of an elderly person like that is disgusting.

Insurance and police. Are there other neighbours who are aware of what happened at the time.
I’d also tell the police your mum feels intimidated by him, that makes a difference why she didn’t go to the insurance.

Definitely speak to the insurance company

Presumably at the age of 80 and with a brain haemorrhage, she isn’t going to be driving for much longer so the longer term impact on her insurance premium isn’t going to be an issue
Hopefully it will ramp his right up

Although could there be a chance he isn’t insured and that’s why he was reluctant to involve them? Your insurance company will be able to tell you straight away because they have a database linked to reg numbers

If so, make sure you go straight to the police

Reading that at least one pp thought £600 was expensive I'm wondering whether they also thought that, maybe thought my mum had taken the car to a main dealership or was trying to make a profit. She did ask if they'd pay half, in the end, but they said no to that too.

I rang her earlier. She won't phone the insurer now because she's worried about being in trouble for not reporting it at the time, and she won't report to police or go to small claims because she basically thinks he'll make her life miserable if she does anything at all. So I guess that's the end of it. I hope £600 of damage befalls his car some time soon though!

What the others say - call the insurance and police for advice, you’ve got nothing to lose.

DS drove into the back of someone’s Range Rover at a roundabout - he wasn’t going fast at all (we saw it on his dashcam) as they were in a long line of slow moving traffic, but it was 100% his fault. Bumper and bonnet of his small car were dented but it certainly didn’t look bad and it was perfectly driveable - cost to repair it through the insurance was over £5k HTH for the person claiming the OP is lying.

@Shade17

Why comment on things you don’t know anything about then? There’s not many bodywork jobs that would cost as little as £600. Paint and other materials are expensive before you even get to the labour.

It called having an opinion.l?!
Excuse me, I didn't realise I needed to know these things before expressing my opinion on MN.
It seems expensive to me but seeing from others peoples non arsey replies £600 is nothing
So sorry, I won't comment again.

It's the Naughty step for me as I haven't got the energy for a MN pile on!

Good luck with the arsehole OP, hope your mum gets her money back.

Sorry, just saw your update. What a bastard he is

can you speak to the wife

Speak to the insurance company - not sure what they can do after 6 months, but if you don't speak to them you won't know.

I damaged my car door 15 years ago while parking. It needed a new door skin and respraying - £600. So I think he's getting a bargain and should just stump up.

Not sure what the police can do but if he's intimidating her then at least they would be aware.

How bad is the damage? Could it be fixed by one of the mobile companies that come and do it at your home?

What a vile person he must be.. Nasty little shit.
Agree with pp that I’d be sorely tempted to do something unpleasant to his precious car in the dead of night....

Such a shame, your poor mum. She sounds quite vulnerable. Of course she doesn’t want the aggravation and to fall out with the neighbour. The best policy is always to report it to the insurer and let them deal with it, but I think your mum will be reluctant to do this in fear of repercussions. Perhaps your mum is right to chalk it up to experience on this occasion, as annoying as it is.

@SoupDragon

How bad is the damage? Could it be fixed by one of the mobile companies that come and do it at your home?

It’s already been fixed and paid for - the OPs mum is trying to get him to reimburse her now as he said he’d pay.

Does the neighbour have insurance?? Why was he so desperate for her not to go through insurance? 🤔

Does she know that not telling the insurance company might not be an option as it may invalidate her insurance? Could you maybe get hold of her policy documents and check?

Did you speak to the wife or just the husband?
He was never going to pay. It was the wife who was the more reasonable at the time.

And btw, almost all insurance policies require you to report any accidents or damage. So her insurance is no longer valid.

I wouldn’t go to the insurance now. You are supposed to report every accident at the time so going back after 6 months just shows she didn’t. I would go round to her neighbour one last time and bluff to him that you plan on reporting it to police/insurance and see what he does!

I would definitely speak to the police about it. Worst case scenario they tell you they can't do anything. Best case scenario they go round and have a conversation with him. That would shit him up a bit.

What a pig of a man treating your mum like this. My son in law was hit a glancing blow by a man who parked his car on a hill without the handbrake on and it rolled backwards when sil was putting something in his boot. He came back to his car, my sil was on the floor, and started screaming they had hit his car!

He walked back to his car, leaned through the open window and put his handbrake on. A passerby remonstrated with him and he started swearing at her as well. He then started on my dd.

They reported and by a stroke of luck, it was on the shop they visited CCTV. Even down to him adjusting the handbrake.

My sympathies are with your poor mum. What a horrible bully. She showed a kindness and has been taken advantage of. Unfortunately you do not have any proof - my sil just got lucky.