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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be furious with my mum's car-damaging neighbour?

125 replies

fourminutestosavetheworld · 07/08/2021 08:05

About six months ago, as my mum sat in her stationary car outside her house, the opposite neighbour reversed out of his driveway and hit her car.

He was initially livid that she was parked in front of her own house but his wife was calmer, apologised and took responsibility. They persuaded by mum not to put it through the insurance and said that they would pay if she got the work done privately - I know, I strongly advised against this at the time.

She's in her 80s and on her own. Over the past six months she's been in hospital after a brain haemorrhage but we still found time to find someone who would repair her car as cheaply as possible. We got lots of quotes and she was determined to make it as cheap as possible for his benefit (they've got a young family).

Went round yesterday to tell him it was £600 and he laughed and told us to fuck off. We asked if he'd pay half - no. He shouted 'you're lucky I'm not making you pay for mine.' I'd have stood my ground but my mum was crying and begging me to leave it.

There's nothing we can do is there?

OP posts:
Shade17 · 07/08/2021 08:48

Finding it hard to believe a slow reversing collision would cause £600 worth of damage.

Don’t be ridiculous, someone reversed into my bumper. Bill was £2.5k.

Dozer · 07/08/2021 08:50

Not involving insurance from the off was an expensive mistake for your mum. Going to small claims now is likely to distress her, so think she’ll just need to accept the lost money.

Aprilx · 07/08/2021 08:51

@ShutUpaYourFace

Finding it hard to believe a slow reversing collision would cause £600 worth of damage. Seems strange the neighbours persuaded her not to make a claim, yet they are now so unwilling to pay, even half. There must have been damage to his car. Did she get photos??? Something just seems odd about this post Hmm
My friends car was reversed into very slowly (whilst I was in passenger seat) and it was a write off.
Original poster
fourminutestosavetheworld · 07/08/2021 08:52

Thanks for all the advice. I think she's really quite scared of him now - was on polite nodding terms before - and doesn't want any hassle. I'd like to pursue it in some way and will talk to her about the suggestions here but think she'll take some persuading. It's a shame because I suppose that's what people like him rely on.

OP posts:
ineedaholidaynow · 07/08/2021 08:52

Don’t you have to notify insurance that your car has been damaged whether you want to make a claim or not

Suzi888 · 07/08/2021 08:54

I would only go through insurance if you have legal cover. This happened to me when I was about 20, someone hit my car but wanted to pay privately. He messed me around for ages, back and forth and then only wanted to repair a small part of the damage. I then went through insurance and they paid out. Of course, I didn’t have to see the chap again.

Your mum wants to leave it, so I probably would in case you upset her/he makes her life hell.

He’s a vile person, I’m sorry your mum had this happen. Flowers

SoupDragon · 07/08/2021 08:54

Do you have a large male friend who could go round and ask for the money?

Original poster
fourminutestosavetheworld · 07/08/2021 08:55

"Don’t be ridiculous, someone reversed into my bumper. Bill was £2.5k."

My mum had similar quotes. She insisted we kept shopping around to find a fair price for her neighbour. I think that's really upset me actually - that she was being considerate to someone so awful. She ended up taking it to a guy working out of his garage. He's done a good job to be fair, and turns out she was lucky not to go anywhere more expensive.

OP posts:
LumpyandBumps · 07/08/2021 08:55

Does anyone work in car insurance?

Could there be any repercussions for not reporting the incident at the time?

Original poster
fourminutestosavetheworld · 07/08/2021 08:56

@SoupDragon

Do you have a large male friend who could go round and ask for the money?
Sadly not. I'd be up for doing it myself if I had a more formidable demeanour!
OP posts:
Suzi888 · 07/08/2021 08:57

Also- sometimes there’s no major damage on the outside but loads on the inside. Every accident needs to be reported and details taken.
I don’t think the police get involved in neighbour disputes (like this one)!do they ….

TheQueef · 07/08/2021 08:57

The small claims track would be easy enough (two online forms and £55) I'd guess the neighbour wouldn't even defend it but that doesn't help anything of it'll upset Mum and worry her even more.

As frustrating as it is it may be better to draw a line.
(And send all the virtual ebils to the chancing fucker neighbour)

BuckyBarnesArm · 07/08/2021 09:01

I think the problem with not reporting to insurance at the time is that they may refuse to pay out now. You should report whether you intend to claim or not, if you make it very very clear at the time of reporting you're NOT reporting it as a claim. At least then, in a situation like this, you would have some recourse.

Dogscanteatonions · 07/08/2021 09:05

I used to work in car insurance - it should have been reported at the time regardless of whether a claim was made and it could invalidate the insurance.

greenbluewho · 07/08/2021 09:11

She left it too long. All very well being nice but 6mo this is far too long. Should have got quotes right away.

ShutUpaYourFace · 07/08/2021 09:19

@Shade17

Don’t be ridiculous, someone reversed into my bumper. Bill was £2.5k.

No need to take that tone!
Just seems a lot of money, but I'm not an expert like you obviously are!
I'm fortunate enough not to have had anyone hit my car. I suppose like all areas everything is more expensive these days but it also depends on the car, how much the car is worth and where the damage is.
£2.5k seems excessive to me. Just as £600 does.

CBroads · 07/08/2021 09:21

@ShutUpaYourFace

Finding it hard to believe a slow reversing collision would cause £600 worth of damage. Seems strange the neighbours persuaded her not to make a claim, yet they are now so unwilling to pay, even half. There must have been damage to his car. Did she get photos??? Something just seems odd about this post Hmm
You obviously know nothing about car body work. It's extortionateley expensive to buy the products needed for repair such as car filler and good quality car paint. Not to mention the labour on top of the materials so £600 sounds pretty cheap considering he would probably have hit her car across a passenger door and a front seat door. Maybe do abit of research next time before you comment.
NotMyCat · 07/08/2021 09:22

[quote ShutUpaYourFace]@Shade17

Don’t be ridiculous, someone reversed into my bumper. Bill was £2.5k.

No need to take that tone!
Just seems a lot of money, but I'm not an expert like you obviously are!
I'm fortunate enough not to have had anyone hit my car. I suppose like all areas everything is more expensive these days but it also depends on the car, how much the car is worth and where the damage is.
£2.5k seems excessive to me. Just as £600 does.[/quote]
My small Punto rolled about 3 metres (handbrake failed) into a Toyota Hilux and the neighbour got 3k off the insurance
He claimed for more and it eventually threatened to go to court snd the insurance paid as it was cheaper than court the damage was already there, I'm sure
He ended up with about 5 grand

Borgonzola · 07/08/2021 09:28

@ShutUpaYourFace I once clipped a bollard at 5mph when I was a new driver (Blush) and damaged the left front light and panel of my little motor. The breakdown for bodywork, new parts and labour (to be paid by insurance) was £1200.

Agree with telling the police, if he's willing to fleece her over this, what's next?

Kralia · 07/08/2021 09:28

" it should have been reported at the time regardless of whether a claim was made and it could invalidate the insurance."

This was what I'd have thought, but it's not the case. I diligently rang to report the fact I'd reversed into a pillar but said I didn't want to claim on insurance, and the insurance said that in that case they weren't interested. I hadn't even given the bloke my details at that point so they really didn't want to know!

Original poster
fourminutestosavetheworld · 07/08/2021 09:29

@greenbluewho

She left it too long. All very well being nice but 6mo this is far too long. Should have got quotes right away.
We did start to get quotes straight away but her hospitalisation slowed everything down.

She knows she's done the wrong thing and that it should have been reported at the time. That was certainly my advice on many occasions. Unfortunately, she allowed herself to be persuaded and has paid the price - literally. She has savings and can pay it but it will hurt, as her only income is state pension.

OP posts:
saraclara · 07/08/2021 09:29

If the damage was to two doors, £600 is cheap. Someone reversed into my car and did similar damage. The girl had only just passed her test, her dad was with her, and she was shaking like a leaf. So I was happy to bypass the insurance. I got the cheapest quote I could and the dad paid the repairer directly. It was £800 but most quotes were way higher. It's a time consuming job to do repairs and to get the paint job perfect.

Tirediam · 07/08/2021 09:32

What an absolute prick.
It’s too late now but personally I’d be slashing all his tyres at any opportunity I had !!

ShutUpaYourFace · 07/08/2021 09:35

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Muggee · 07/08/2021 09:36

@ShutUpaYourFace

Finding it hard to believe a slow reversing collision would cause £600 worth of damage. Seems strange the neighbours persuaded her not to make a claim, yet they are now so unwilling to pay, even half. There must have been damage to his car. Did she get photos??? Something just seems odd about this post Hmm
I don't think so necessarily, they didn't want their insurance premium affected as many don't, but also probably know it's unlikely now that an 80 year old lady will chase payment.