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Original poster

Nine years for starving a baby to death

999 replies

PropertyFlipper · 06/08/2021 15:07

I’m struggling to see the justice here. This sorry specimen will be out in five years no doubt. Devastating.
Teen mother, 19, bursts into tears as she is jailed for nine years

OP posts:
bluewanda · 06/08/2021 22:09

Of course they would have been better in care - but how do you know

@ghostyslovesheets what do you mean how do I know?! They were abused and killed because they were left with their parents. How could it possibly be worse?

ghostyslovesheets · 06/08/2021 22:10

@ExpressDelivery

The first thing I'd do would be to pay foster carers (maybe not as carers but certainly as enhanced lodgers) to keep children until 21. Very few other people are completely on their own from their 18th birthday. Some are effectively abandoned at 16yo.
yes - this - pay them for care - not a 'staying put' arrangement - many FC's want to help but it's also their job and they can't take the pay cut
ghostyslovesheets · 06/08/2021 22:11

@ghostyslovesheets what do you mean how do I know?! They were abused and killed because they were left with their parents. How could it possibly be worse

I think you misread my post - I meant how do you know that the SW's where not dealing with other cases where their action meant a child didn;t die?

the80sweregreat · 06/08/2021 22:12

It's what I've read !
I can only go on what I have read online, she had left her child on its own before.
I'm sure more might come out in time.

Pebbledashery · 06/08/2021 22:12

I can't stop thinking about the poor baby on her own for 6 days. In the article it says it was likely she didn't cry as she knew nobody would come and then she would've been to weak to cry. It's so utterly heart shattering.
Irrespective of mental health issues. There's basic knowledge on how to treat and not to treat a child.
This afternoon I moved my car to be nearer to the house, I'm a single parent to a 3 year old.. It wouldn't have even crossed my mind to leave her alone in the house. Even though I wouldn't have taken longer than a minute.. I took her with me outside and put her in the seat.. Just because I didn't want to a) leave her and b) her to think I wasn't coming back.
It's just basic knowledge of being a parent.
It haunts me to think she was left for 6 days and her mother was shocked that she was unresponsive when she came home. What did she fucking expect????

Panickingpavlova · 06/08/2021 22:12

Local down bear in agree.
I wonder why they have the child in the first place.
Surely a first big step is to make sure care is care and not a place where the most vulnerable children continue getting abused.

PolkadotClouds · 06/08/2021 22:13

@Livelovebehappy

It’s utterly heartbreaking. But sadly people will always look to blame everyone else other than the actual murderer. Ultimately it’s down to the person carrying out the abuse and neglect. Social services, family, police can be involved in monitoring the situation, maybe for a few hours a week, but it’s what happens when that person is alone with their child when the abuse will obviously take place. She was so cold and callous that she posted tickets to sell on a site within hours of her child’s death, and within days boasted she had applied to be a model for a clothing brand. No remorse. Just getting on with life as normal. Vile individual.
This.
Panickingpavlova · 06/08/2021 22:14

But pebble, this is it, what makes you move your car, and this girl leave the house?

She didn't have that link of career to her child, she wasn't invested in the baby.

Naaaaah · 06/08/2021 22:14

@Grimacingfrog

I think sometimes this obsession with trying to keep neglected and abused children with their parents is all wrong. The welfare of the child should be paramount.

They could be allowed to have contact with the children, certainly, but consistent, reliable and safe caregiving is too essential for children's welfare to muck around with.

Where are you going to put all these children that have been removed? There's already a shortage of foster homes.
ExpressDelivery · 06/08/2021 22:15

The other thing would be a big expansion of fostering arrangements where the mother stays with the baby in a foster family and is supported and taught how to care for baby.

Obviously though all this costs money and in UK we don't vote to pay more taxes to support people who can't help themselves.

JustLyra · 06/08/2021 22:15

@the80sweregreat

I still cannot get my head around the fact that she had left this child previously, not just for an hour or so ( bad enough ) but for days at a time and she was still allowed to keep custody of her. She clearly wasn't making any effort and she didn't want her , yet it's so hard for anyone to make the right decisions it seems because of all the rules and regulations around child safety and taking any child into care. Maybe ' the rules' need to change , because they clearly do not work? There was evidence that she was neglecting her before she left her for six days.
Nothing is clear yet in this case.

There’s no detail on when details were found out. That’s why it can’t be put in a box labelled evil and stick on a shelf.

Who knew what and when is crucial in seeing what lessons can be taken and what changes should be made, if any.

If a month before this happened 3 social workers, two police officers, the supported living staff abd 10 other people knew about all 11 incidents , but done nothing then there’s a massive cock up.

However if it only came out after it happened and it was realised that friend A knew about one incident and thought it was a one off, and friend B thought the same about another, then C the same, then the incident the staff knew of and thought was a one off, it’s a different story.

What was known, by who and when is the key to knowing what, if anything, could have been done.

JustLyra · 06/08/2021 22:18

@ExpressDelivery

The first thing I'd do would be to pay foster carers (maybe not as carers but certainly as enhanced lodgers) to keep children until 21. Very few other people are completely on their own from their 18th birthday. Some are effectively abandoned at 16yo.
That should be an absolute basic imo.

There’s a foster carer I know through my old job who is dreading the kids she’s had with her for years hitting the age where she’s expected to just set them off into the world. Yet at the same time she can’t live on fresh air.

ExpressDelivery · 06/08/2021 22:19

@ExpressDelivery

The other thing would be a big expansion of fostering arrangements where the mother stays with the baby in a foster family and is supported and taught how to care for baby.

Obviously though all this costs money and in UK we don't vote to pay more taxes to support people who can't help themselves.

We just want to throw them in jail at huge cost to the taxpayer rather than support them properly Angry
SirVixofVixHall · 06/08/2021 22:20

@Xdecd

There is a backstory, from what I know from the various local reports, she is a care leaver who was living in supported accommodation. There are numerous other instances of her leaving the child at home alone. More will come out in the Serious Case Review but my impression is the child shouldn't have been in her care, and there was also a massive failure in monitoring on the part of the "supported" accommodation.
I agree with this, at least from what I have read about the case. That child should not have been left with her mother.
Gwlondon · 06/08/2021 22:21

@Lagomtransplant

Is it horrible that I feel absolutely furious and heartbroken that wretches like these have kids, while I'm in the 7th year of a spectacularly unsuccessful TTC, with everything to offer a baby?
You don’t know how she ended up in that situation.

I am saying this from a place of kindness. Would you consider being a foster carer? A foster carer for teens? Sometimes it’s hard to place teens. Unless more people decide fostering is for them this sort of stuff will keep happening.

enoughforme · 06/08/2021 22:24

@igelkott2021

As for the social workers why do we always want to blame authorities for things: eg this, Baby P, the Manchester Arena bombing, the London Bridge attacks. The people to blame are the perpetrators. Nobody makes them go out and murder others (or neglect them so they die).

I also saw in another case, that a stepfather has killed his stepson. Why do mothers inflict these men on their children?

I completely agree with this. I tell you who is to blame / the mother! That's the end of it.

Society wants to shift responsibility all the time to others - the government are responsible for everything.

How about SHE just take responsibility for killing their own baby?

As tragic as it is it's her fault no one else's, even if mental health is at play here she should get help, we cannot blame mental health for everything

Pebbledashery · 06/08/2021 22:24

The fact she had left her before on 6 other occasions makes it worse. She knew what she was doing, vulnerable or not. She had zero regard for her daughter. She could've accessed support if she had one modicum of hope to want to be a better mother. Yes, she and her daughter were massively failed by children's services.. But she failed her daughter. By not caring, by not loving her enough to protect her, by prioritising her need to party for 6 days straight over caring for her vulnerable young daughter. This isn't a woman who was on the street begging for help and admitting she was struggling, this was a conceited and devious person who knew exactly what they were doing. It took her 2 hours to call the emergency services when she got home. Do her actions scream like she's a vulnerable person who didn't know what she was capable of?
She deserves to be caged.

enoughforme · 06/08/2021 22:25

@ToykotoLosAngeles

December 5, 2019: Kudi leaves Asiah alone in the Brighton flat to head to London. She meets her boyfriend for dinner in Fulham and tells pals her mum is looking after the baby. December 6: She eats at Donut Shack with friends in Putney, South West London December 7: Kudi attends a Juiced 90s concert in Elephant and Castle with a pal December 9: The mum travels to Coventry with her boyfriend and others to help celebrate a friend’s birthday. December 10: Kudi heads back to London and stays overnight at a friend's flat. December 11: She catches a train back to Brighton and pops into M&S before heading back to Asiah at the flat.

Doesn't sound like she was held against her will to me.

Wow, doesn't sound like mental illness to the detriment of using it as an excuse either. She's a cold hearted killer and no one is to blame here except her. No government, social services - it's on her.
ExpressDelivery · 06/08/2021 22:26

Who was talking responsibility for raising her to be that person though? It takes a village...We need to be that village.

the80sweregreat · 06/08/2021 22:26

@Pebbledashery

The fact she had left her before on 6 other occasions makes it worse. She knew what she was doing, vulnerable or not. She had zero regard for her daughter. She could've accessed support if she had one modicum of hope to want to be a better mother. Yes, she and her daughter were massively failed by children's services.. But she failed her daughter. By not caring, by not loving her enough to protect her, by prioritising her need to party for 6 days straight over caring for her vulnerable young daughter. This isn't a woman who was on the street begging for help and admitting she was struggling, this was a conceited and devious person who knew exactly what they were doing. It took her 2 hours to call the emergency services when she got home. Do her actions scream like she's a vulnerable person who didn't know what she was capable of? She deserves to be caged.
I agree, but you will be flamed for saying this. You've also written this better than I could have done.
enoughforme · 06/08/2021 22:26

@LifesNotEnidBlyton

Another thread where the comments wouldn't be the same if the sex of the person was swapped. Comment after comment about "I'd like to know the full story" and "The father likely raped her" "Why isn't the father in trouble for leaving his chuld there".

This wouldn't be the comments if a father, troubled teenager or not, did this to a baby. No, the comments then would be "He should get life." "He was likely abusing the mother too." "Being a troubled teenager is no excuse for this.".

Exactly this.
JudgeJ · 06/08/2021 22:27

@ToffeeNotCoffee

Verphy Kudi admitted the manslaughter of 20-month-old Asiah Kudi, who was left at her Brighton flat as she celebrated her 18th birthday in December 2019.
She celebrated for 6 days!
Pebbledashery · 06/08/2021 22:29

The local authority failed as well. She should've been removed under a care order and placed into Foster care.

PolkadotClouds · 06/08/2021 22:30

@Porcupineintherough

Whether she had previously left her little girl 6 times or 11 times makes no difference. Child should have been removed after the second time.

I'd have had more sympathy for this woman if she'd been forced to keep her baby. But the truth is, she wasnt. At any point she could have said "nope, not doing this".
She could have left her child with someone, she could have called someone and told them she'd left the child alonr. She didnt.
It's hugely offensive to young people with mh issues,or a history of sa, or who are care leavers to suggest this women couldn't be expected to be a better human being or mother than this.

Totally agree. Except that Asiah should have been removed the first time she left her alone.
enoughforme · 06/08/2021 22:31

@ExpressDelivery

Who was talking responsibility for raising her to be that person though? It takes a village...We need to be that village.
We are talking about blame not support. The village can support but it isn't to blame!