Aibu and holding DD back?

[startrek90]

Come on Aibu rather than the breastfeeding board as I think you trusty vipers will give it to me straight.😂

Reading a thread on this board has got me thinking. I am still breastfeeding my DD who will be 1 year old this month and I am wondering if I am holding her back/doing it for too long?

My 2 older children stopped breastfeeding at 3 months and 4 month respectively (not my choice but I had to go onto formula) and I know literally no one who has breastfed past 6 months old. I thought my DD would stop when we introduced food but tbh she has shown no interest in stopping, she still feeds to sleep and she co sleeps still (again not my choice but it was the only way to get sleep!). She averages about 3 feeds during the day and she wakes once at night. She will not take any bottle at all, not even expressed breast milk believe me I've tried.

She also has not teeth yet which I think is due to her breastfeeding as my boys both had teeth by 9 months. She also doesn't walk, she can crawl but she prefers to bum shuffle herself along.

I'm worried that breastfeeding her this long is holding her back, she is supposed to start kindergarten in September but she is still a baby and I am worried that she will be so far behind the other children, but I have no idea how to get her to stop she won't take a bottle, she can't have formula has it makes her have awful reflux (first time I ever experienced this too) and she won't take ordinary milk.

Be honest vipers am I breastfeeding her to long? Am I holding her back?? Any suggestions would be welcome.

It is your choice. If you are happy to continue then do so. Her teeth have nothing to do with your breastfeeding. Also I wonder why would anyone still follow WHO after their recent recommendation to 'all women of childbearing age to avoid alchohol'.

Haven't read the thread but my 2 both breast fed until 18m +. Neither of them would ever drink cows milk and one never took a single bottle. She was weaned onto water from a cup. At 1 they don't need milk as long as you watch their calcium intake (they actually don't need that much)

Start to reduce feeds (if you want to) offer water instead, it'll be tough but she'll get there.

You aren't holding her back at all, you've given her a great start

I put YANBU as in you're not holding her back at all. She is a baby! I'd maybe cut the feeds down to morning and night and get her to drink water from a sippy cup at meals. But sorry from that, it's the best thing. I feed my twins to 1.5 years old.

I fed both mine til about 1 when they each lost interest. I would have continued longer if they wanted and I can't see how you would be holding her back, recommendation for bf is 2 I think. If you both are happy I would continue.

I breastfed my son until he was 2 and a half, admittedly at this point it was once a day and before bed time.

Hes now a happy and thriving 3 and a half year old.

You are absolutely not holding her back

Of course not! I’m breastfeeding our 20 month old - she has an almost full set of teeth (just the “two year molars” yet to come), is a confident walker and goes to nursery three days a week. She’s never had a bottle, but has drunk water happily from a cup from six months. She was never too keen on crawling, but once she started walking at about 18 months there was no stopping her. I have plenty of friends who breastfed their babies to 18-24 months and all of them are happy, confident children who are doing well and have no developmental issues. There is no plausible mechanism by which breastfeeding could be holding your daughter back. You sound like a lovely mother, please don’t worry and enjoy your daughter.

I’d also add that the children in question all started walking and talking at different ages- even siblings. They just develop in their own good time -breastfeeding has nothing to do with it.

Babies are just different. Breastfeeding has nothing to do with tooth or other development, and people in the past didn't learn to walk etc later than babies do now. Nothing you've mentioned here sounds particularly late or at all worrying. If you are still worried in 6 months that'll be a good time to check in medically. Either way it'll be nothing to do with breastfeeding.

Absolutely not.

They are all different. I fed mine 4 months, 18 months, 3 (as he couldn’t have cow’s milk or soya and alternatives were very difficult to get) and DD was about 11 weeks when I went back to college and she fed early morning, breakfast, 4 pm and evening then just had evening from about 1 year to 18 mths.

They all got their teeth at different times two were more than 1.
All were early walkers but speaking was varied with DS2 being 2 1/2 with only about four words but then after Christmas started speaking in proper full sentences. He was very busy and always climbing getting into mischief.

I wouldn’t worry at all. Bum shufflers do usually walk a bit later because they can get around so speedily. My friend had one. If you watch play you might see the other two getting things for her and therefore she has no need to try.

Just enjoy her😀

I'm amazed you don't know anyone who has fed past 6m - almost no one I know stopped before 1 year. You sound like you want the best for your child but your concerns are completely unfounded and illogical. I would advise speaking to someone who could reassure you (a health professional) as you sound like you could do with more information. The comment about purees is quite odd too - babies should be eating finger foods at 1yr, they can do from 6m, so not sure why that would even be on your mind.

[quote startrek90]@elizadoolots

I am concerned that she doesn't have teeth and doesn't crawl. My eldest walked at 2 years old but was speaking both languages at 9 months and had a full set of teeth. My other sone was walking and had teeth by 1 though he didn't talk till nearly 2.

DD seems happy enough and unlike her brothers she has never been sick or anything and she sleeps brilliantly (thank god!). She eats normal food (won't take pureed food but then again neither did my other two). I'm worried that me breastfeeding her is somehow affecting her teeth and holding back her development in some way. She can say some words, she says hi and mama and papa and danke and she bum shuffles but she just seems so babylike, far more than my boys. I am probably worrying to much, she is my last baby and a lockdown baby born after 2 years of struggling to conceive. I accept if I am being irrational and over anxious.[/quote]
are you sure you're remembering what your boys were like correctly? I don't mean this horribly - it all becomes a bit of a blur after the fact, I find. I couldn't quite tell you precisely what my daughter was and wasn't capable of at 11 months now she is a very capable 2yo, and when I see pictures of her at that age it's startling to realise how babyish she still was. At the time I thought she was really grown up.

Your daughter's language sounds great for a child not quite 1, especially learning more than one language, and bum shuffling perfectly normal. She really is still little, and breastfeeding won't be holding her back. You're giving her a great start in life. Keep doing what you're doing and don't second guess yourself: all your kids sound like they're thriving.

I breastfed to 2 years, by the way, but dropped down to mornings and evenings when she turned 1 and started nursery. Like your DD, mine was a great fan of solid food.

Bum shufflers are more likely to develop dyslexia. Someone from the Yale Child Study Group mentions it as an environmental sign.

@54321nought

My goodness, if BFing prevented teeth coming through millions of boobs would have been saved!

This

I breastfed my son until he was 1, he had some teeth come through by then and he liked to use them Ouch!

Fed both of mine until around 2 - 23m and 25m.

I don't think it had any effect whatsoever on their progress. They both ate well, slept etc., are healthy.

One walked at 10m, the other at 13m (he was heavier). No issues with teeth or speech.

There is no conceivable way that breastfeeding is stopping her teeth coming in.

[quote startrek90]@elizadoolots

I am concerned that she doesn't have teeth and doesn't crawl. My eldest walked at 2 years old but was speaking both languages at 9 months and had a full set of teeth. My other sone was walking and had teeth by 1 though he didn't talk till nearly 2.

DD seems happy enough and unlike her brothers she has never been sick or anything and she sleeps brilliantly (thank god!). She eats normal food (won't take pureed food but then again neither did my other two). I'm worried that me breastfeeding her is somehow affecting her teeth and holding back her development in some way. She can say some words, she says hi and mama and papa and danke and she bum shuffles but she just seems so babylike, far more than my boys. I am probably worrying to much, she is my last baby and a lockdown baby born after 2 years of struggling to conceive. I accept if I am being irrational and over anxious.[/quote]
Yes irrational.
Teeth are nothing to do with cognitive development
Dds got first teeth 18 months both a*

ds same and not a* at all v delayed as has microdeletion
syndrome. Teeth just isn't relevant.

Talking two languages at nine months? What do you mean?
Unlikely. Maybe few words
Few words by 18 months is fine.
Youngest child may not need to say Nything
Understanding and play is better indicator of development
Physical development..walking nearer two not necessarily an issue.

If concerns speak to h v or g p
The breastfeeding is not going to be a factor

I bf DD1 until 12 months and DD2 until 10 months. Both gave it up themselves. To reassure you that it doesn't stunt their development, DD1 has just graduated with a 1st class masters degree from Cambridge. She wasn't a great crawler; she much preferred sitting on her bum watching what was going on, but her speech was pretty good. However, you mention 2 languages. I'm pretty sure that bilingual children do take a little longer to speak but once they start, they seem to be able to switch effortlessly from one language to the other.

It sounds like you are doing an amazing job with a happy and healthy DD. That's no small achievement!

Bless you. Keep doing what you're doing. You're not holding your child back in any way. I have breastfed five children now for 9 months, 13 months, 8 months, 25 months and 28 months. All teethed, walked and talked in their own time.

How would breastfeeding be holding them back? I fed my eldest until she was 3 and she is a well rounded child

Both my extended breastfed children walked very early (8 months). As others have said, it doesn’t impact on teeth development either.

My two were breastfed till 14/15 months. The younger one was a bum-shuffler and walked a little later as a consequence - this is a well-known link, they can move and reach and carry things so easily there is less incentive to get up on their feet, than if they happen to crawl. The eldest talked early and often, the younger one didn't need to, and is still firmly of the belief that if you've nothing to add to a conversation you shouldn't. Teeth came through in their own time - and in fact all their teeth have been on a late schedule and it's definitely genetic. In fact my 16 yr old is cutting a molar this week - it's probably a "12 yr old" molar, not one of his wisdom teeth.

Anyway, mine are both late teens now and academically brilliant so no, breastfeeding certainly didn't hold them back :)

So in terms of your concerns about areas where your daughter may be different to her brothers; no signs of teeth after some age may be worth a discussion with a dentist, they will reassure you or check if there is real cause for concern - probably not earlier than 18 months I think. The only other thing I would mention, is that my sister's DD3 was less "forward" than her older sisters, and was later found to be very long-sighted, so it made sense that she explored the world less avidly as she couldn't see much detail in it. Made up for lost time quickly once she had glasses though!

@User5827372728

I thought 1 was the min recommended to breastfeed to.

I would keep going until either of you want to stop.

It’s 2 and at the beginning of covid the WHO advised all breastfeeding mothers to continue bf and to not wean.

@bigtoejoe

I just didn't grow up around breastfeeding or seeing it, everyone I knew formula fed and fed with baby jars so I thought that was normal ( I also had my arse handed to me on here when I asked for advice with my first baby and revealed I was using baby jars!)

I don't see how that is unbelievable tbh, the UK is not exactly a pro breastfeeding society and that's how I grew up. The few people I know where I currently live only breastfed for 6 months so I have nothing to compare it too.

I mentioned pureed foods as in normal food pureed down when she was 6 months, she hates it and just has what we are having. I just mentioned everything I could think of

There is nothing wrong with feeding her still at 1! I fed both of mine until around 2 years, when they both naturally weaned off.
It will not be affecting her teeth (or lack of) at all, that is a separate issue. Maybe talk to your HV or GP?
Mine both refused a bottle, and my son didn't like cow's milk for a long time, so just had water. Thankfully, he still ate cheese and yoghurts!
You'll also be amazed how far she will develop before September.

We also used jars/prepare food a lot - they liked it, it was easy and I wasn't wasting my time cooking stuff they'd then refuse to eat!