Aibu and holding DD back?

[startrek90]

Come on Aibu rather than the breastfeeding board as I think you trusty vipers will give it to me straight.😂

Reading a thread on this board has got me thinking. I am still breastfeeding my DD who will be 1 year old this month and I am wondering if I am holding her back/doing it for too long?

My 2 older children stopped breastfeeding at 3 months and 4 month respectively (not my choice but I had to go onto formula) and I know literally no one who has breastfed past 6 months old. I thought my DD would stop when we introduced food but tbh she has shown no interest in stopping, she still feeds to sleep and she co sleeps still (again not my choice but it was the only way to get sleep!). She averages about 3 feeds during the day and she wakes once at night. She will not take any bottle at all, not even expressed breast milk believe me I've tried.

She also has not teeth yet which I think is due to her breastfeeding as my boys both had teeth by 9 months. She also doesn't walk, she can crawl but she prefers to bum shuffle herself along.

I'm worried that breastfeeding her this long is holding her back, she is supposed to start kindergarten in September but she is still a baby and I am worried that she will be so far behind the other children, but I have no idea how to get her to stop she won't take a bottle, she can't have formula has it makes her have awful reflux (first time I ever experienced this too) and she won't take ordinary milk.

Be honest vipers am I breastfeeding her to long? Am I holding her back?? Any suggestions would be welcome.

Breast feeding does not delay milk teeth coming through or stop children walking.

Its much more unusual to have all your teeth at 9 months than none at 1. Lots of kids aren't walking at 1 also, my boys were all 15-18 months.

I'm not sure how Kindergarten works in i assume Germany but at 13 months in UK nursery she'd be with peers and they wouldn't expect a walking, talking child with all their teeth

I don't think you're holding her back. I'm still breastfeeding my 16 month old. She's happy, healthy and meeting all her milestones. She didn't walk until she was 13 month old. I breastfeed her in the morning, at nap time and before bed. We've sort of fallen into routine that suits us both. My little one would never take a bottle, and the only other thing she'll drink is water from a sippy cup. We co-sleep too. I never intended to do that, but at 6 months she just refused to sleep in her cot anymore and would wake up crying inconsolably ever 30-60 minutes. I know it's frowned upon but we're both happier and getting a lot more sleep this way. I like having her next to me too. I don't think I ever realised the power of breastfeeding until I became a mum. All the preconceptions I had about it we're wrong, for one I thought I'd just be able to switch to bottles once she reached 6 month or that my daughter wouldn't have her own opinion and say in the matter.

DD1... BF until 17 months. Bun shuffled at 8 months, walked at 13 months. Talked at 2. First tooth 16.5months
DD2... BF until 2.5yo. Crawled 5 months. Walked 12 months. First tooth 10 months. Hasn't stopped talking since she was14months old (and she's 8yo now!)

They all develop at their own pace.

Breastfed DS until 2yrs old. His teeth didn’t make an appearance until he was 12 mnths old. DSis was the same with her 2DC and they were late getting teeth. We are both dentists so we’re not worried. In fact we hypothesised that it was nature’s reward for extending breastfeeding. Certainly teething was no problem and when they did try a bite or two they were old enough to understand why it wasn’t a good idea.
Teething late is much less traumatic for them. They are at a more advanced stage of development with more mature immune system so don’t seem to notice the teeth erupting.

Breastfeeding isn't holding her back.

All babies are different. Neither of mine crawled until 11 months (one EBF the other combi fed) both were close to 17 months before they walked, but both talked quite early.

Breastfeeding is great for babies. Stopping won't magically change her development

All babies develop at different rates, and your dd is still well within the normal range. Even if there do turn out to be issues, there’s no way breastfeeding will be the cause. That said, if you’re ready to stop, then it would be perfectly reasonable to wean her. Dd never took a bottle, or drunk formula or cow’s milk, and I successfully stopped feeding at 17 months. She just graduated with a first!

No, you aren't holding her back.... literally millions of children all around the world are still breastfeeding at 1 with teeth, walking etc.

You say your older kids had teeth at 9 months but that's pretty late! All my kids have been bf and got their first teeth between 5-7 months (6, 5 and 7 months for each of my kids).

I bf all three of mine for well over a year (fed my 2nd till she was 2.5 years in fact and still feeding my third baby now at 1 year old) my first was crawling at 7 months, walking at 10 months, second didn't walk till 16 months and my 1 year old is a bum shuffler who won't walk for quite some time I expect!

Basically, I did the same with all three and they all had different outcomes. Because breastfeeding has nothing to do with walking or teeth 😊

I am still breastfeeding DS at 19 mths and he started teething at 2 weeks with first tooth by 4. Her having no teeth and struggling with movement would suggest she needs to an urgent HV referral. Something isn’t right and it has nothing to do with breastfeeding.

1 year is the minimum if you're breastfeeding, WHO recommends at least 2 years, many people do it much longer.
It doesn't hold them back, my 2 (both EBF, first for over a year, second still going but only a baby) had their first teeth by 4 and 4.5 months respectively. My older child is well ahead in regard to milestones and walked confidently by 11 months, it's down to the individual child and not how they're fed.
Breastfeeding has more health benefits for both you and baby too, so it's definitely not a bad choice.

Some just teethe late. One of mine just didn't do teeth or hair, she was a very bald baby (wipe clean!) and got her first tooth after her first birthday. HVs always said lucky you! I stopped BF her at 7 months. A couple of the brightest kids I've known never crawled and were static until about 18m. Do what suits you both with feeding her, you're not doing anything wrong.

Keep doing what you're doing, breastfeeding will only bring your baby benefits as long as you're happy doing it. I'd recommend doing a bit of research into extending breastfeeding so you have a bit more info which might help you in future - the kellymom website is great, as well as a Facebook group called Breastfeeding Older Babies and Beyond (there's also one for Younger babies which is fab too).

Thank you all so much. I don't know anyone who has breastfed past six month and I do not come from a family were breastfeeding is 'normal' so I don't know how what to look out for. You ladies are all reassuring me so much.

DD is just so different from by older two. I really wanted to breastfeed my boys longer but it didn't pan out and I have only ever aimed at giving my kids the antibodies and seeing how it goes. It was an absolute fight with my eldest two but with DD it's been a dream. I am happy to keep going as long as DD needs I just wanted to make sure I am not holding her back or being 'strange'. Reading another thread on here has made me a little paranoid and I am now over thinking thing.

Holding her back?! You're giving her a wonderful start. I can't even reply to that other thread. Great reasons to continue breastfeeding past one.

I breastfed mine until 4 and both got teeth at 7/8 months so nothing to do with BF.

Recommended is until 2, after then we just did it in the evening and bedtime... but you choose what is best for you.

Both went to nursery at 10 months old and continued to breastfeed when at home... it won't be harming her

1. There is no way scientifically possible that breastfeeding is holding her teeth and crawling back. At all. No way.
2. Until they are 1 year old minimum they still need a lot of milk in their diet and food is just to supplement.
3. I breastfed mine till 18months and he had all his teeth by then- they started coming in super early at 2months.
4. All children develop at different rates and that’s totally ok.
5. You are a great mum and if you and baby are happy, that’s the only thing that matters.

Rowing in behind everyone to say you’re absolutely giving her the best start! It’s so good for her. And you! It’s so beneficial to both of you. For DD, benefits are huge - immune system etc. For you it benefits your bones, your lipid levels, helps protect against breast cancer in both you and your DD, to name a few benefits.
WRT speech - breastfeeding is very good for correct development of the muscles in her mouth and throat, so can only help speech development. There is absolutely no downside to breast feeding this long, unless you or your DD don’t want to. You can’t force a baby to breastfeed. Your DD knows what’s good for her.

You are not holding your child back.

Breastfeeding (or not) will have had no impact on her teeth, or her ability to walk, or speak, or sleep well... It's good for her immune system and is a safe and healthy way of helping her to calm down when upset.

Keep nursing for as long as you are both comfortable with it.

Not at all holding her back. I BFed one of mine till 19 months even though he had teeth at 3 months (and by the way he never crawled, just bum shuffled, is a completely normal and rather clever and talented 16 year old now!) , and the other till 4.5 years as he didn't want to stop until then. I did tell him I wasn't BFing in the night though after about 2, but that was me wanting to protect my sleep! By age 4 he just had one feed in his room at bedtime and it was just a nice ritual. We stopped with his consent because he was a 'big boy' who was ready for school. You're doing a wonderful thing for your DD. But the choice is yours. When you want to stop, stop. If you're happy to keep going and she is keen, keep going! I personally stopped public feeding once they were toddling because I didn't want to look like I was trying to make a point (!) but I really doubt anyone would have cared.

No, you are not holding her back. No need to worry

You definitely aren't holding her back, and her teeth have nothing to do with the breastfeeding.

When she starts kindergarten it may bring a natural end to breastfeeding. MY DD started at a childminder at 13 months as I returned to work. She stopped feeding a few weeks into it as she was not longer able to have her lunch feed. And it was only a couple of days a week.

I don't get this at all. We're mammals, we make milk for our babies, it's literally the best thing for them 🤷🏻‍♀️ no way you're holding her back.

All babies are different, teeth/walking/talking they do it when they do it IMO. Please try not to give this a second thought. If you want to keep feeding her, carry on, if the time comes when you feel you want to stop, then that's fine too. She's developing exactly as she's supposed to, please don't worry about comparing her to siblings

World Health Organisation (and NHS) advice is to breastfeed until they’re at least two. The internet is full of detailed articles explaining how breastfeeding benefits children. I don’t understand why you posted here instead of just doing some googling / listening to NHS advice, but obviously you are not ‘holding her back’.

Age 1 isn't holding her back. School age is very different to being 2/ early 3 and having breast milk at night

I know a couple of kids who bum shuffled and never crawled, they were slower to walk than most of their peers but my goodness they made up for it with talking a few months later!!

You should only breastfeed for as long as you and she are happy to continue. She doesn't want to, she stops. You don't want to, you stop. Simple!