Breast feeding at 4? AIBU for my comment?

[crazymicrowave123]

I was asked to baby sit for a friend of my parent's over the weekend and her son is 4 years old (and would have been a bit of extra cash which I could do with). She let me know that she still breastfeeds him every morning, once at lunch and before bed, says it is comforting for him and for her and has no plans to stop any time soon and that she will do so at my house before she leaves. He is turning 5 in a a few weeks time, when I told her my family and I thought it was a bit strange to still be breastfeeding at 5 when he is starting school but that I wouldn't object to her doing so before leaving, she then decided to cancel the babysitting and told me I was no longer needed.

She has now decided she no longer wants to keep in touch with our family due to our 'judgemental and disgusting ways' and says I have deeply offended her. Coincidentally I have come across this article online where Ice T is defending his wife Coco who still breast feeds there daughter at 5. So AIBU and should I extend the olive branch and apologise? I wasn't intending to offend just gave my honest opinion and now I feel a bit guilty.

Article: www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-9865267/Ice-T-defends-wife-Coco-Austins-decision-continue-breastfeeding-five-year-old-daughter.html

Oh come of it....a baby and a 5 year old are not the same. The teeth thing is a red herring.

A 5 year old jumping up to a breast? running around playing and then having bittie? Yuck.

You are being very unreasonable. I can't believe you said that, how rude and judgemental, maybe you shouldn't have said spoken on behalf of your family either.

Absolutely no need to be still doing it at that age and you have every right to comment. It was going to be in your house. She must know what other thoughts would be on breast feeding at that age and everyone is entitled to their own view. If she wants to continue in her own house that's fine but it was in your house.
It's not like it's a young baby screaming to be fed, it's for comfort not nutrition. At 4 years nearly 5 it would be strange for a child to be still drinking from a bottle never mind breastfed!

Not "IN HER HOUSE"!!! Gasp.

Do you not let people use your loo? Tell them to do that in the privacy of their own home?

@WhatAShilohPitt

I agree with you. It’s weird. You breastfeed milk until babies start growing teeth and then you wean. I don’t think 14 year olds, 9 year olds or 5 year olds need to breastfeed from their mummy as if they can’t eat proper food. This is ‘AIBU?’ and that’s my opinion. I don’t really care who disagrees with me.

However, you definitely shouldn’t have said anything because she clearly feels that this is so intensely personal and justifiable that it cannot be criticised at all. Her breasts, her child, her call.

Extrapolating to 14 year olds breastfeeding isn't helpful. There are lots of things I do for my toddler that I don't expect to be doing when she turns 10 or 14 or whatever age people like to throw around. Younger children do lots of things with their parents that would be seen as inappropriate once they've hit puberty, it doesn't mean those things are inappropriate when they're infants! Like bathing them, bathing with them, helping them use the toilet.

All children and parents are different and breastfeeding until either the mother or the child wants to stop can happen from birth up until natural weaning age - which is not when they get teeth ffs.

You breastfeed milk until babies start growing teeth and then you wean.

It's possible for a baby to be born with teeth, does that mean they should never be breastfed?

At it again @sadperson16

The nerve of you 🤣

The idea that this is for her benefit…just because you didn’t do it, doesn’t mean she’s wrong.

@MissChanandlerBong22

It’s unusual. Unusual doesn’t mean bad, or ridiculous, or ‘creepy’. It’s just not common. I only actually know one person who breastfed to natural term, which in her case was nearly 4 years old. I just thought good for her.

Oxford English Dictionary -

creepy
/ˈkriːpi/
Learn to pronounce
adjectiveINFORMAL
causing an unpleasant feeling of fear or unease.
"the creepy feelings one often gets in a strange house"

It's creepy.

LDN?

Essex?

@Erwhatno

The nerve of you 🤣

The idea that this is for her benefit…just because you didn’t do it, doesn’t mean she’s wrong.

Equally doesn't mean she's right... I repeat bitty....

@DingDongThongs creepiness personified

@TheKeatingFive

You breastfeed milk until babies start growing teeth and then you wean.

Historically, no, not at all.

Well you don't wean til 6 months (nowadays) so what do you do between them starting to grow teeth and 6 months? Let them starve?

@PlumpAndDeliciousFatcat

maybe people do extended breastfeeding but keep it in for the fear of being judged

Quite. Nobody apart from my DH and the child themselves knew that I continued to breastfeed after the age of two and it was entirely because of ignorant, judgemental attitudes such as yours.

That’s so sad. I breast fed my dd till she was 3.4 and now she’s almost 5 she still gets comfort from stroking my breasts and speaking to them. I never stop her and I still Bf’d in public till she stopped. I thought it was a shame when numerous women came up to me when they saw us to say they still breastfed theirs at the same age, but were too worried about judgement to do it in public. I never had any comments and we did it all the time because dd refused water.

@DingDongThongs do boobs (sorry, t!ts) give you the fear then? Maybe you might want to see someone about that….

Except the numerous studies into the benefits proving natural term weaning......

But yea. You're "bitty" comment is what everyone should listen to. You are clearly the worlds leading breastmilk expert.

[quote wincarwoo]@DingDongThongs creepiness personified[/quote]
Exactly, nothing creepy about it if you aren't sexualising breasts in some way.

I cannot believe some of the ignorant, judgemental comments on here about extended breast feeding.

At the end of the day does it really matter what another mother does with her child ?Be it's breast or bottle, extended breast feeding, weaning at 3 days, 3 years or 5 years. Does it actually effect anyone else at all?

YABU. None of your business OP.

Some funny but very ignorant comments on this thread.
I’m always amazed how some people are so confident as to express opinions on subjects they know very little about. The Dunning-Kruger effect is well alive. And despite being told the facts, they hold strong to their ignorant opinion. I’m always amazed.

Had some of the naysayers breastfed or read about breastfeeding you would know that you cannot force a child to breastfeed, (the ‘it’s all about the mother’ comments) they self wean at their own pace, children do not feed into their teens (bitty comments), our ‘safe’ lifestyle in the western world doesn’t make breastfeeding any less needed (guidelines not for the western world comments), and the drinking cows breast milk is different - love that one. Cows with their limited diet, walking around in shit in the fields etc etc, and it’s acceptable (even needed) because it’s in a carton in a fridge??? Human breast milk from a varied diet is somehow nutritionally less than cows milk. And entirely unnecessary. Strange theory.

I breast feed my 14 month old and I plan on breast feeding until he self weans. As a breast feeding Mum I can tell you first hand that you CONSTANTLY battle judgey looks and comments from ignorant and rude people who think breast feeding should be done in private, ignoring the fact that breast feeding is feeding a baby. Simple as that. I'm not in anyway saying that you're one of these people, I am sure you ment no real harm, but when you're a BF mum and you've spent the whole time having to justify why you're feeding your baby then you become extremely defensive about it because it's almost like people are shaming you. Even now I get comments and looks, and I always have. I don't feed with it all on show, I'm quite discreet but even still. I feed my baby for lots and lots of different reasons but what ever the reason it's my baby and I'm doing what I think is best. Breast feeding comes with so many sacrifices to the mum. It's not easy. I've had breast feeding thrush, breast refusal, many many MANY sleepless nights, mastitis, infected cuts... there have been some very dark moments in my journey. But more importantly there's more good then bad and I am so honoured to have been able to feed my baby. I'm proud and part of me just wishes that people would feel more proud of me then judgey.
So your comment, which probably meant no harm and may have just been a passing comment, is unreasonable because that Mum is doing what she thinks is best for her child and a hell of a lot of hard work has come from that. If you felt you were in a position to make that comment because she was feeding "in your home" then you really need to ask yourself why feeding a baby or a child in your home was an issue and ask yourself questions instead of her.

I think its rude to say its "weird", maybe acceptable if you ask in a more quizzical nature.

I personally wouldn't comment though, not worth it.

Though I cant understand it myself. Doing it nearly at 5 seems a bit codependent, and as if trying to cling on to the baby years.

I have met many mothers who breastfeed 3/4/5 year olds.
None of them have planned it.

@Mreggsworth

I think its rude to say its "weird", maybe acceptable if you ask in a more quizzical nature.

I personally wouldn't comment though, not worth it.

Though I cant understand it myself. Doing it nearly at 5 seems a bit codependent, and as if trying to cling on to the baby years.

Another who doesn't understand that it is the child that wants it.

You can't force a child to breastfeed. I bet you've never done it.