DD is 16. She wants her nose pierced, and she is getting it done tomorrow. I have agreed to this, but I'm really, stupidly sad about it. I need some help unpicking what this is really about and why it's bothering me so much, and frankly, I think I probably need to be told to get over myself.
I really hate the way nose piercings look, always have done. My lovely best friend had one done when we were teenagers, and I hated it then. Still hate it now, even though I know some fabulous people who have them. I know it's just a tiny hole and a bit of jewelry, and ultimately, it's dd's nose and I totally respect her right to choose, but I feel inexplicably upset about it nonetheless.
She is a really good kid. Incredibly hardworking, sensible, respectful, considerate etc. I genuinely have nothing to complain about as she defies most of the stereotypes about teenagers. She is old enough now to get the piercing done without my consent but I know she wouldn't ever have done that - she'd prefer to have my blessing. She knows I don't like them but equally, she knows that I am not so controlling as to stop her from doing it without a valid reason. And I haven't got a reason, other than the fact that I really don't like it. Not sure if it's relevant, but in dd's mind, the piercing isn't just about the aesthetics, but it's also about connecting with half of her cultural heritage in which nose piercing is the norm. I know that this aspect is really important to her and I totally support her in wanting to connect with that. I just can't get past my visceral dislike of how they look.
So she has my consent (even though she doesn't actually need it), she has researched options carefully and will get it done in a reputable place but I am still struggling to process how I feel about it. I know it's totally my problem and I'm being fucking ridiculous. I don't want to show any negativity to dd once it has been done, so please help me to get past this!