Cruelty to children

[designSalmon]

I’ve just read the absolutely tragic story of Kaylee-Jayde Priest. I’ve just been crying my eyes out this evening over the loss of her very short life. She has hair just like my daughter,

I’d really like some recommendations on charities and organisations that try to make a real difference in cases such as these, so that I may make a donation etc.

Rest in peace little girl, I hope you will find the kindness, love and compassion you so deserve in heaven.

Thank you

Wish she’d just given her to Granny. Grandma seemed to really care for her and I imagine she’d have raised her well. She obviously never wanted her child but rather then abuse then murder her, why couldn’t she just have given her to someone who loved her? I honestly can’t wrap my head around it at all.

Yes yes to reporting. Every. Single. Time. Ignore the twats on mumsnet who always minimise any concerns, and make excuses for shitty parenting. You know the ones who post “you only saw a snapshot” “are you wearing your judgey pants” “keep your beak out” “wind your neck in” “stop curtain twitching nosey parker”

They are probably on here mourning the death of this poor girl. 🙄

*The most vulnerable children are often not the easiest to make friends with and I really think encouraging a bit of kindness goes a long long way.

I'm not sure about taking children out per se, but there are befriending services for vulnerable parents, homestart etc. But even just inviting the less popular children to a birthday party and making it clear that a gift isn't required (one reason I was often told to turn down invites was not having something to take) makes a difference.

Independent visitor is a role some might be interested in, that's being a mentor/friend figure to a child in the care system (the 'unpaid adult' mentioned by a pp)*

All of this. Kindness, don't teach your children snobbery, or to other. Be the adult that makes a difference, that doesn't turn away. If you don't do it, who will? Never assume someone is doing the good stuff, it's up to us all.

Please stop with this stupid ‘women are powerless’ bullshit. She was beating her child. Nobody forced her to do that. It’s so exhausting how women are always the victim on this site and can do no wrong.

Sashh day by day I am hating this country more and more and the way it is run. I’d probably say the same if Labour were running the show too. Shannon Matthews was during their run.

Examples like what you gave as a strategy in Scandinavia aren’t helping my mindset- that is such a good and inspired idea yet it would never happen here. Instead we will spend a fortune propping up irresponsibility by paying people for doing nothing and conducting lengthy and costly ‘investigations’ (that lead to nowhere) once things inevitably go tragically wrong.

The reality is that by not dealing with things properly and placing ‘sticking plasters’ on everything it costs more long-term. The most vulnerable in our society are being failed constantly yet the worst kinds of people seem to be protected and repeatedly helped.

It’s all so wrong.

It’s also not the fault of social workers. I am sick of hearing this. Social care needs a ton of money spending on recruiting more social workers and having it seem as a desirable and well paid profession again. Who would sign up for that job right now? Low paid, no respect and you are carrying the blame when blatantly inadequate parents do something horrible. Even the midwives at the hospital will be able to identify those who shouldn’t be taking a baby home with them- it’s so unfair to blame social services when it’s obvious to us all as a society that so many people shouldn’t be having children.

We haven’t got to sentencing yet. What’s the betting they end up serving less than the three years that poor girl was alive. It’s what usually happens.

This and the poor little boy in Wales. What is wrong with people? If you don’t want children don’t have them! It’s not as if we don’t have options in this country.

Both of them should be sterilised with a rusty blade and no anaesthetic.

so many people shouldn’t be having children.

It's a difficult line between eugenics and human rights. It's the right of the child to grow up in their family if birth if at all possible.

Abuse happens across the socio-economic spectrum, but poverty makes things worse.

I've always reported concerns. Hell, I once followed someone home from a shop so I could give SS the correct address. She'd hit her little boy round the head and sworn at him.

The best thing you can do it to be vigilant. Always flag up concerns. No matter what some of the idiots on here say, we all know the difference between a parent telling their child off and a parent using abusive language.

I agree totally about the abuse in all classes- just look at the stately homes thread.

But I disagree about being able to have children being a human right. Particularly if you have no long-term plans on how you will financially support them independently. When do we start considering the human rights of children such as Kaylee?

Horrific. The messages between her mum and boyfriend sent shivers down my spine poor little girl.

Just a comment on SS being low paid - it is for the job we actually do, but the wage itself isnt bad (considering the cost of living in most of the country) Often 30k for a relatively new social worker, nearing 40k for senior or team manager. Some earn more by doing agency work. It's the impact on personal/family life that's the problem, it's impossible to plan. It's often finishing late, finding other friends/family to collect/feed your own children, missing parents evenings, cancelling on friends. I missed my friends (Friday evening) wedding reception because I had one of 'those' calls and I was out until 8pm (I'd supposedly booked the afternoon off, but the call came in in the morning and what can you do?)

I'm not saying that's every day and certainly not trying to be a martyr but it's a very practical reason why so many people leave the profession. It's not the job itself it's the impact it has on everything else.

The right to family life is a human right for adults and children.

The flip side of this is the "stolen children" narrative (and real life scandals, of course).

There are no simple solutions. But that doesn't mean we should give up, it's messy, but everyone's job.

In answer to your original question though OP I don’t know what we can do :( sorry I’m going on now and have been going off on tangents but this has been on my mind so much since I read about it yesterday. Whatever approach required needs to come from the top down- it’s a huge, huge problem and I believe this culture of irresponsibility and expecting to be helped is adding to it hugely. Superficial and temporary gestures aren’t helping. It’s so hard and so so sad for the children involved.

I would say report but it’s doubtful it’ll even be investigated if you do. I don’t see what good charities and their huge salaries will do either.

I really don’t know :(

Always report if something feels off and keep reporting.

Donate ,promote ,contribute and volunteer if you can to women's and children's charity. Volunteer if possible at schools,children's centres,youth centres etc.

Write to your MP, be loud and active about cutting of funds and services.

Be part of the community and don't overlook or dismiss children either because they're "odd",dirty etc or because their parents seem nice or are well off.

No one wants to go back to the days when babies are removed from young or poor or both mothers, against their will, by midwives for adoption by nice middle class parents.

"Social services stole my child from hospital, and I've never harmed her!" Everyone is aghast, and damns removal for risk of future harm, saying they never have the mum a chance. No one has a crystal ball.

@Itwontstopraining

Just a comment on SS being low paid - it is for the job we actually do, but the wage itself isnt bad (considering the cost of living in most of the country) Often 30k for a relatively new social worker, nearing 40k for senior or team manager. Some earn more by doing agency work. It's the impact on personal/family life that's the problem, it's impossible to plan. It's often finishing late, finding other friends/family to collect/feed your own children, missing parents evenings, cancelling on friends. I missed my friends (Friday evening) wedding reception because I had one of 'those' calls and I was out until 8pm (I'd supposedly booked the afternoon off, but the call came in in the morning and what can you do?)

I'm not saying that's every day and certainly not trying to be a martyr but it's a very practical reason why so many people leave the profession. It's not the job itself it's the impact it has on everything else.

The emotional and mental load is significant too. There's a very difficult and fine balance to manage between not letting it affect you and becoming jaded/burnt out. Witnessing horrible things and knowing what should be done/happen but still follow guidelines and the law. Juggling caseloads and having to prioritise.

Social work isn't that low paid compared to teaching or police but the work load is staggering.

But when your midwife finds it funny to tell you (as mine did) how she visited a baby last week and had to tell mum’s new boyfriend not to smoke weed over the cot and to get a bit of respect… no one needs a crystal ball in some of these cases. Clearly no one cares enough who can do something.

I used to give money every month to children in need until I found out they fund sex offender programmes. I pulled my money after that.

Why? There needs to be more sex offender programmes, there need to be programmes to stop people (mainly men) becoming offenders.

Please don't think I'm supporting abuse of any kind but we have a huge problem in this country with the sexualisation of children.

We send out a lot of mixed messages.

In the 1980s the Sun had a circulation of just under 4 million, It also had Samantha Fox on page 3, this started when Fox was 16.

Today owning one of those pictures could see you be prosecuted for possession of an indecent image of a child.

I don't believe every person who bought the Sun was a sex offender, although I'd question their taste of reading matter.

I'm not explaining this very well, but education is needed to confront what many see as harmless but is a real danger to children.

“Let’s hope they get a life sentence today”

Sadly there’s no chance of that the scum bags were only found guilty of manslaughter not murder. As far as I know manslaughter doesn’t carry a life sentence (well 15-25 years is what is apparently classed as life).
Therefore they probably won’t even get 15 years.

It is one thing that private individuals report worrying situations but the responsibility lies with either or both police and social services to take the appropriate action and prevent any further harm to the children.

Everyone wants the village to raise everyone else's kids, but will take huge umbrage at the slightest implied criticism of their own parenting. We have a culture where ringing someone's doorbell is taken as an invasion of privacy, never mind trying to access their home or their kids.

Please stop with this stupid ‘women are powerless’ bullshit. She was beating her child. Nobody forced her to do that.

This. The ONLY victim in this horrendous situation is Kaylee.

Sadly there’s no chance of that the scum bags were only found guilty of manslaughter not murder. As far as I know manslaughter doesn’t carry a life sentence (well 15-25 years is what is apparently classed as life).

I read that the maximum sentence for manslaughter is "imprisonment for life", but as you say, I'm not sure what exactly "life" means in our joke of a justice system. Why do we call it life when it almost never is? Why not just say "15 years" or whatever? I don't understand.

What I do know however is that these two monsters don't deserve to see the light of day ever again.

"A mother accused of murdering her three-year-old daughter told a court she "never hurt" her child."

Liar.

In addition/to echo what others have said:

Keep reporting concerns and don't stop doing so because you feel nothing is being done.

Please please please people stop undermining children's social care at every turn. I see it on here so often and it's damaging. If people don't trust statutory services they won't engage or use them.

Yes things go wrong, things get missed and mistakes happen but you are not hearing about the successes and the families kept together and thriving, the young people kept safe etc etc

Please write to your MPs, support campaigns around funding for public services. Not just social care but education, NHS, children's centres, mental health support, addiction services.

And finally, if you really care then don't ever vote Conservative again.