Cruelty to children

[designSalmon]

I’ve just read the absolutely tragic story of Kaylee-Jayde Priest. I’ve just been crying my eyes out this evening over the loss of her very short life. She has hair just like my daughter,

I’d really like some recommendations on charities and organisations that try to make a real difference in cases such as these, so that I may make a donation etc.

Rest in peace little girl, I hope you will find the kindness, love and compassion you so deserve in heaven.

Thank you

I’ve been terribly upset about the woman just given 9 years inside for leaving her 20 months old baby alone for 6 days while she went out partying. I can’t comprehend how anyone can do this. Apparently she’d often done it, having left her alone for 2 days before! It’s heartbreaking. Obviously she had died a terrible death by the time her so called mother returned.

This won’t be popular but I’m of the firm belief that this country incentivises young women to have kids. A house and no need to work. It’s become a career choice for some and the poor innocents suffer. If it was up to me they’d be forcibly sterilised and to hell with their so called human rights.

@roxyro

I’ve been terribly upset about the woman just given 9 years inside for leaving her 20 months old baby alone for 6 days while she went out partying. I can’t comprehend how anyone can do this. Apparently she’d often done it, having left her alone for 2 days before! It’s heartbreaking. Obviously she had died a terrible death by the time her so called mother returned.

This won’t be popular but I’m of the firm belief that this country incentivises young women to have kids. A house and no need to work. It’s become a career choice for some and the poor innocents suffer. If it was up to me they’d be forcibly sterilised and to hell with their so called human rights.

It's nothing to do with age. There are neglectful mothers/parents of all ages. Please do not single out teen/young mothers. Also, I do not think living in a hostel and living in benefits is a lifestyle. amount of benefits that single parents get is atrocious.

Very unfortunately SS are not the ppl to report this to. They will only see who they can foster and lie about for the own end. They don't actually help most ppl as they are too busy looking for their next bonus and how they can make most money out of kids, ones thatb ate young and undamaged. This story breaks my heart into pieces and i can't believe there are so many similar scenarios. They shd be put Dow, not jailed in comfort.

This won’t be popular but I’m of the firm belief that this country incentivises young women to have kids. A house and no need to work. It’s become a career choice for some and the poor innocents suffer.

@roxyro there’s some interesting writing about that in this excellent article on Baby P:

www.theguardian.com/society/2009/aug/16/baby-p-family

“The ease with which people have children and the difficulty they have in looking after them is a recurring theme in stories of social breakdown. It is a symptom of a radically foreshortened perspective, in which future consequences seldom impinge on choices and actions in the present.

“But it is also a function of a welfare system that allocates subsidies and material security to those with children. The noble intention is to arrest economic deprivation at birth, yet too often it helps foster the very conditions it seeks to combat. The more the state intervenes, the more it is required to intervene and therefore the more chance that its intervention will, as in the case of Baby P, not be enough.”

I adopted my daughter. It really hit home that if my LG wasn’t removed, and the social workers weren’t on the case constantly that it could have happened to her. Such a sad and tragic story.

Wood Green stabbing: Police officers and social worker attacked www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-london-58124569

And then we wonder why social workers don’t force their way in……

But isn't sterilising even feckless people a form of eugenics? It's a dangerous path to start down.

I share your concern about state mandated sterilisation being a dangerous path to go down but I would argue that describing the cruelty, abuse and neglect that leads to a child's death as feckless is offensive.

These are exceptional cases and as many posters have mentioned the care system often produces more damaged people to perpetuate the cycle of abuse. Sterilising those who have already killed a child through abuse or neglect is not an extreme idea, it's a reliable and pragmatic way of ensuring negligent or abusive parents never have the opportunity to cause another child unbearable suffering. Feeling confident that any future child would be removed is no comfort when it means another child entering the care system.

My life story, can you elaborate please I don't understand your post.

Blue wander yes, the thing is people tend to become very good at what they do Know in their immediate circle.

So for instance it's not a stretch that children who grow up with an artist become good at recognising good art, coulor combinations.
Or a parent who loves gardening passes some of that on even by observation.
For some of of these children like baby PS mum, it seems there was nothing else she could see in life except, meeting a man, having babies and getting housed.
A hopelessness, lack of direction... Misery... Boredom... No idea of how to actually parent from one generation to the next, the ease of having children and being paid for it.

It’s all very well some posters getting uptight about sw’s and the difficulties they face but it’s been stated in court in several cases that I’ve read, that the thinking these days is to concentrate on the adult. It needs to change. It’s not about the adult and their needs - it’s about the children. Children are interviewed whilst the adults are present, adults are believed when passing off non accidental injuries to the children. Daniel P’s mother repeatedly told the school and sw’s that he was on some kind of food restriction on dr’s orders. This was believed. Why wasn’t it checked? It’s disgusting that a child can be openly starved and nobody checks with a dr or orders a medical examination. Not only was he being systematically starved, he was being tortured and beaten. She used to drown him until he lost consciousness! The brute of a boyfriend used to make him do squats until he collapsed - he was 4 years old! At least those monsters committed suicide - no doubt both had a hard time in prison.

As for the posters that repeatedly say “why not give the child up”? Money is the answer. They would lose the bulk of their benefits. I’m all for the welfare state but something has gone wrong and these children are bearing the brunt of it.

@OhGiveUp haven't read the whole post but keep reporting to police and to children's services at the council. Every single time you hear or see something. It will be recorded every time you do. Also, keep a diary of what is seen and heard, and when you report it. They will do something eventually. Even if they NFA it, keep on.

Definition of excuse (since you clearly need some help with this yourself):

“seek to lessen the blame attaching to (a fault or offence); try to justify.”

Which is exactly what you’re doing

Complete and utter nonsense.

Fojn

I agree and it could come as a choice, severe life restrictions or sterilisation and banned from becoming a step parent as well.

Blue wanders article also mentions how today's massive blended and fragmented families don't help,where the extended family might step in to help out now, that's so removed there is no extended family to even notice.

I've come across teens who have fallen down the cracks in each families relationships. Eg mum and dad had x. But that relationship broke down and mum went onto have x kids with x men, and dad went into to have x kids with x amount of women.

No one cares for the 1st x at all anymore. Totally uncared for and unwanted, having to rely on the kindness of granny or aunts and possibly only in a caring for them capacity.

Emotional issues, some sen possibly and low educational attainment and what they talk about is wanting babies.

Roxyro

That's interesting was it the swing towards "human rights"?

I agree that what a parent claims, needs to be followed up on.
The school should be able to call the doctor and ask, is this boy seen regularly, can you confirm he's healthy, mum says he's on a diet the school find him looking ill and rummaging in bins.

After all schools is where he spends most of his time.
Doctor immediately gets him in and looks at him.

@Packingsoapandwater

I mean, what the hell are you if you can beat a three year old to death, when soldiers in 1916 from backgrounds where their dad took a belt to them on a regular basis couldn't even fire at the enemy?

That's the layer that's missing when we look at these cases

I won't respond with some of my issues with other assertions in your post, because they're largely semantic and not overly relevant to the thread, but I will try to respond to the quoted part at least.

I think the fundamental thing here is that the majority of your 1916 soldiers still had a strong internal morality, a sense of right and wrong, hence why they could happily volunteer to go and stand in a trench to defend what they cherished against the aggression of a morally inferior foe, yet they still couldn't rationalise shooting to kill what they also knew were ordinary human beings standing in the enemy trench across no-mans-land.

You have a dichotomy, where in the bigger picture it's 'the right thing to do', but simultaneously, on the other hand, and at a lower level, it's also hideously inhumane and entirely 'wrong'.

The problem with the people in the news of the last few days is they totally lack that strong internal morality. Yes, they know 'right from wrong' on a basic level, and I dare say that they are well aware that their actions are criminal, but they are not bound by their internal monologue they way that 1916's young men were because it simply isn't ingrained in them the same way, the fear of the consequences, and I'm not talking about prosecution or prison here, rather the actual outcome, the effects of their actions if you like i.e. injured and dead children, simply does not provoke the same emotional response of revulsion, self-loathing, and regret that was typical in soldiers who knew they had killed another young lad not at all unlike themselves.

The idea that they might directly be the cause of a child's death is no more consequential to them than 'meh'. That is not a normal response for a typical, well adjusted human being, so we have to ask ourselves difficult questions about how that individual has come to a point whereby they are atypical and abnormal, rather than just spewing nonsensical garbage about 'evil' etc. That's completely pointless, it serves no purpose and provides no worthwhile answers.

Rest in peace little girl, I hope you will find the kindness, love and compassion you so deserve in heaven.

One of the things that really irks is the lip service that so many people pay after a child has died as a direct result of abuse. There is no heaven. The poor little kid is dead. I understand that many people need the crutch of believing in an afterlife and heaven, but that belief also leads to many people believing that "something better/a better place" is available for children. Hell is other people, and what this child and others like her lived through.

@Awwlookatmybabyspider
It’s always mum and mum’s boyfriend, isn’t it [sic]. No, it isn't. In many cases, it's one or both biological parents, or a blood relative.

The idea that they might directly be the cause of a child's death is no more consequential to them than 'meh'. That is not a normal response for a typical, well adjusted human being, so we have to ask ourselves difficult questions about how that individual has come to a point whereby they are atypical and abnormal, rather than just spewing nonsensical garbage about 'evil' etc. That's completely pointless, it serves no purpose and provides no worthwhile answers.

@XDownwiththissortofthingX Quite. As noted, I was born into one of these families. As were too many of my friends. None of us have ever been able to understand how or why they (the abusers and their supporters/enablers) do what they do. In the few dozen cases I know of, the survivors were stunned to find out that their relatives knew what had happened to them, and just ignored the abuse. "It wasn't my child, so meh" has been an all too common response, and one that I still experience as utterly stunning. I have no idea how anyone can react like that. It shouldn't matter whose child.

@gardeninggirl68

i report the neighbours behind me too often

my ds who is 22 has reported them as well, his bedroom overlooks their garden and he see's violence (to mum).boyfriend shouts and swears at the girl, she's about 6/7 years old. other neighbours have reported too, including her former friend

police go round, mother denies, kid caught in the middle...now theres a newborn in the mix so the boyfriend has moved in. constant smell of weed wafting over the fence. not sure what else we can do, just waiting

We have similar, except it’s been going on for about 7 years. Kids have now grown up a bit…

The girl is exactly like her foul mouthed mother, rude, obnoxious, swearing, all back at her mother.

The boy, is silent, never heard him speak in 7 years.

The boyfriends, they come and go, always with a bag of weed, one is a local dealer and warned us to stop reporting to police and social services. Ignored that obvs.

@Doodlebug71 - but in the vast majority of cases it is a male who is not the biological father. And the sort of male who is closely connected to the child usually is the mother’s boyfriend.

In these cases they are usually not a paedophile, but a young man who is frustrated beyond belief with a crying baby or needy child. Often they have violent tendencies anyway and have a temper fuelled by drugs and/or steroids. They have no emotional connection to a child who belongs to their girlfriend - a girlfriend they may have only been with for a matter of weeks. I mentioned upthread I had a court case where a girl left her 3-month old baby with a new boyfriend whilst she went shopping with friends. He repeatedly beat the baby against the wall.

As I said earlier, these girls/women do not need these men economically (ie they have their own flat) so why are they introducing males into the equation? Not just dating someone, but moving them in immediately. Perhaps there could be more work on warning off young women from forming alliances with men (excuse the pun) willy nilly when they have children already. But I guess that would be moralising and that is nowadays unacceptable, even if children are collateral damage.

Dreadful! Cannot get my head around the 'manslaughter'. They should be going down for murder, pure and simple. Never to be released. Hope they get beaten shitless in jail.

Poor Kaylee, poor little children.

As a pp said, it is always a family member who commits the crime. The father/boyfriend/step-father... Logan, who was found in the river in Bridgend this week...5yo beautiful child. He was beaten to death by the sound of it. Horrific! Poor baby x

Copper family member is a loose term.

I think the man in Shannon Mathew's life was a family member but actually a boy friend or something...

It's it evolutionary to want to kill off another man's off spring? For some...

One of the worst mothers I know actually works for social services. If I reported her, that complaint wouldn't go anywhere.

She just kicks her kids out down the park every day, her partner has smashed up her house and both kids are filthy and covered in rashes.

Apparently, she's quite senior in the council. Go figure.

TBF there is a lot of judgment towards single mothers especially young ones so maybe that’s why they hook up with a bf quickly, there is also pressure to meet a new partner from relatives and friends and society in general (I know if had it said to me a few times as a single mum that I should met someone) so that would be part of the reason why they do it

Second, please report it! °^I hate it when people say it won't go anywhere, that's not for you to decide!.