To think family days out are mis-sold and wish to complain?

[JustAnotherManicMunchie]

Planned a lovely day out yesterday for my DC aged 10, 9 and 3 months. DC1 has ASD so takes some encouragement to get out of the house.

I spent ages planning and packing a picnic and headed off backpack in hand with visions of sunshine and the DC and I skipping through the meadows…

The reality was the DC bickered all the way to the venue, by the time we got there, DC1 was in a mood and dragging his sorry face along the ground ….

DC2 was fed up of DC1 and his endless rules.

Picked the baby up out of her car seat to find she’d had an explosive nappy all over her car seat . Cleaned up the baby whilst simultaneously trying to stop WW3 breaking out between the older two.

We carried on with our day and thought never mind, even Mary Poppins herself has blips … we can still skip in the meadows hand in hand al la perfect family style ….

We get to the playground at the venue and the DC are still bickering; before I can get to them , DC1 wallops DC2 under the wooden bridge like a troll clubbing the Billy Goats . The pair of them scrapping whilst the world looks on like they’re at a paid for title fight.

So embarrassed, I hauled them out of the park and we went for a walk. I’d paid £35 to get in, we were not leaving until we had at least some fake happy family photos ….

DC2 then tripped over a tree and skinned his knees , cue screaming like an injured wild animal. We left.

Today …. Is another day I thought…. Again , bundled them in the car and I promised myself today would be better and true family day out.

Twenty minutes in to the journey, I was screeching like a deranged lunatic over the pair of them ducking fighting and arguing again. I told them they were ruining family days out and I was so sick of their selfish bickering. I really lost my shit and told them they were making family life miserable and I wanted to go home and forget the day out ….

We went on to the seaside and had a fabulous time … before getting in the car and enduring a meltdown for the whole journey home.

I think I’ve been mis sold family days out and I’d like a refund on all the family days out we’ve ever had which follow the exact same pattern ….

Can anyone point me in the right direction?

AIBU ?

@MrsHuntGeneNotJeremyObviously

I sometimes take teenage DD out on her own and she can still start an argument I remember fondly the car journey days with my 3 young boys who would scream blue murder at a millimetre encroachment by one of their brothers onto 'their' seat!

Family days out are often more trouble than they're worth.

This made me laugh out loud thanks Mrs. H up til now thought i was the only one...

Where do we get the refunds? I've got 17 years worth to claim!

Yes op this sounds about right. We have a full blown row before we leave, usually partly in the front garden in the way to the car so all the neighbours hear. Then my 3 DC are either bickering / fighting in the car or shrieking / making loud noises that I’m finding it hard to concentrate on driving. Queue looking temper.
Sometimes the actual day goes ok and other times the arguing and telling offs last all day and all car journey home.
Then to top it all off, there are the lunchboxes to wash out when I get back

My 2 bicker and whinge so much outside of the car (home and destination) that strangely, they are quiet in the car, from sheer exhaustion. During term time I put one in front and they take turns sitting in front. That tends to help.

Don't feel guilty, they'll have two decades of conflict resolution / people manipulation skills by the time they're fully grown

@Progress2019 your post has me genuinely crying with laughter. That’s hilarious.

You paid £35 and no one vomited all over you?! Overpriced.

@Progress2019 your post made me choke on my tea

If my dad joins us for a day out and sits in the back of the car with my son, 7, then I want to drive the car off a cliff!!! They drive me insane with their silliness!!! Dad sits in the front now!!

Though if I take my son out alone, just us, then we have a lovely day. If I take my youngest along the day is not so great but then she is nearly 2 so keeping the 2 entertained is not easy.

No one has the picture postcard days out!!

Dh and l have got the opportunity to go to New York next year...was feeling mum guilt about not taking dd who will be 10 but after reading this am thinking probably best she does stay at home!

@Progress2019 A beggar’s dog!! That’s amazing.

I once went to a festival with mine. All he wanted to do was play in the sandpit and with a balloon. It was just a normal sandpit and a normal balloon.

You have to have days out like this so you feel like the Best Parent in the World Ever when you have a successful day out!

Solidarity here too.

I have 3dc - 15, 13 & 9, 13 year old has ASD, and absolutely hates the 9 year old, so they will constantly fight, he is very sweary too. If he isn't fighting with her, then he will be asking constant questions about what is happening on an unrelated day, when we are leaving, the beach today we couldn't even eat lunch on there as he would have spent the entire time screeching about the incoming tide. Yesterday he wanted to go home as soon as we reached the beach and wanted a time frame on it. I'm happy to give him a plan, but not a minute by minute breakdown when on holiday.

It sounds quite tame written down, but it is constant, when he has had enough, that's it for everyone else. I try to accommodate his ASD, but my two girls also have a right to do fun things as well.

Progress2019

That’s brilliant!!

I have the most beautiful photo of my 3 children at the start of a rainforest bushwalk. They are arm in arm, the trees are glistening, the sun is shining. I got so many lovely compliments about it on Facebook.

The reality was that the kids fought like cats and dogs all morning. They walloped each other with water bottles in the car and getting out of the car, all kicked each other as they scrambled out. The photo was taken beside the carpark. They were ordered to smile on pain of losing their iPads for a month (I am a ruthless follow-througher so they knew it was a real threat). They had already lost them for that afternoon. We then got back in the car and went straight home, forgoing lunch at the pub which they love.

Next morning I got them to do it again, this time armed in advance with better threats. Made them do 6kms and they all got covered in leaches. #win . Interestingly, of all the lovely days out I have done for them, it is the leach walk they talk about the most. Sort of forced bonding.

So the moral is that Facebook days out photos lie and shit days out can be the memory-making one.

@Progress2019

Mine are grown up now, but I remember taking them up to London on the train one day, for a wonderful trip involving the zoo, natural history museum, meeting my brother for lunch, ending with a trip to Hamleys with money my parents gave me.

I thought it went well

At parents evening I got to look through younger daughters school work, I think she was about 7. It wasn’t quite the glowing account of ‘what I did at half term’ I was expecting. Just these words - My mummy made us go to London to stroke a beggars dog.

A beggar?? It wasn’t Dickensian London. It was a busker with a dog wearing a hanky around his neck.

This made me laugh so much and I don’t know why

Otherwise you get complacent

Sorry I had to giggle. Isn't this what all family days outs are like. 🙈

We took ours to Australia a few years ago. It was the trip of a lifetime. There were still many many times I wanted to throttle them and not just on that god awful flight. What were we even thinking? I thought they’d be in awe but I think they’d have rather been playing on their games consoles

I grew up in a seaside resort.
Beach was always full of grumpy families with parents repeating versions of "I've paid for this, so you're going to enjoy it" over and over

My teen self once ruined a family day out to Hastings in the late 1980s because I realised shortly after arriving that I had forgotten to set the tape for neighbours. Something critical must have been happening with Scott & Charlene. Spent the entire day with a face like a slapped arse, begging to leave in time to be home by 5.35pm. We did not.

My days out are never like this. They always go well. No arguing ever BUT…

I have one child with non verbal autism so he can’t argue!

My other daughter is super relaxed and happy to go with the flow. She’s well Behaved and I don’t know where she gets it from either.

I actually find it hard to spend time with my mates kids as they constantly argue and fight (like normal siblings). My daughter hates spending time around their as she doesn’t like all the arguing and doesn’t understand why they won’t just behave and stop arguing.

You have my full sympathy.

All morning: when are we going to the farm? Are we leaving soon? Can we go now? How far is the farm? When will we be at the farm?

Arrive at the farm: SMELLY FARM! Can we go home NOW?

Cunts.

I regularly draft snippy letters to the ombudsman of Parenting to complain that my children's trading standards have slipped well below the bar and I am displeased.
Have yet to get a reply but any day now.
I hear ya hun xx hugs

@EffYouSeeKaye

My teen self once ruined a family day out to Hastings in the late 1980s because I realised shortly after arriving that I had forgotten to set the tape for neighbours. Something critical must have been happening with Scott & Charlene. Spent the entire day with a face like a slapped arse, begging to leave in time to be home by 5.35pm. We did not.

😂😂

OP, you are bringing it all back to me. "He's looking out of my window", "she's breathing MY AIR", etc, etc, etc, etc, etc, etc. It was a bloody nightmare. Even now, they argue about who sits in the front. The rule since they were tiny was the the person who was ready first, including shoes on feet, was in the front. They are still adhering to this now, but are more able to argue about who had their shoes on first.

The oldest is nearly 20.