To not enjoy my children?

[TheBoredom]

All the time?

Because of the Covid situation completely screwing up childcare this summer I am taking 4 weeks of parental leave plus 2 weeks annual leave to cover the school holidays. It would have cost £2k to use holiday clubs locally which is more than I earn. There is only one which would take both of them (there are more for 5+) 8-6pm. Usually grandparents would help too but they would not this year. DH is too busy and important to take more than 2 weeks leave for our holiday (last two weeks of the holidays).

DC are 4&6.

I am sick of "muuuummmy".
I am bored to tears.
The noise. DS roars all of the time and DD has a high pitched girly shriek.
They are bored of all of their toys.
They refuse to play in the garden, they prefer trashing the house.
The house is a mess.
Everything has to be booked a month ahead.
Over the park.
The fighting.
The constant snacks.
I am lonely and yet I don't get 5 minutes peace.
The weather has been mostly rubbish.
They had to isolate for a week at the end of term too so we have been off for 3 weeks already.
Money - I had £100 a week (£400) to spend on treats/ days out. I thought this would be loads but it barely covers anything - a trip to the cinema with popcorn and a drink cost over £30, swimming was £20. Petrol for days out - I have spent £100 more than usual. Our roof has sprung a leak and so we have had to dip into our holiday spending money to pay for it and so I am under pressure not to spend much so that we can enjoy our holiday at the end of the month.
My friends seem to be flaky - I made plans for play dates etc but they all seem to cancel/ amend the plans which makes them shit (eg my best friend from school lives two hours away, we planned to visit for a couple of days but she got a better offer so reduced it to a day trip which was just long and tedious with the DC fighting and shouting all the way home). Others want to go to soft play and have lunch out which would be another £30-£40.

My work got no cover for me and so my work is just building up. I feel panicked about that and end up logging on to work (work have said they will pay me back for this but it isn't the point - they should have got cover). I get calls and messages throughout the day. This is not helping at all.

I feel bad that I am not enjoying them. DH keeps telling me I should enjoy these days but I really, really don't. I am marking the days off like a prisoner.

We do have some good times - I have taken them out to as many places as I can but these are short lived. Today I am waiting in for the roofing man so we are stuck inside and DH has decided to work from home so that he can be here when the roof man comes (but we can't go out in case he is on a call when he turns up) but he is complaining about the noise (and has banned the tv because DS hit him).

Aargh. Roll on September.

AIBU?

@zukiecat and that's as valid as anyone else's experience. I'm pleased you loved your time together, my intention wasn't to suggest everyone hates it but that it's not uncommon for both SAHM and WOHM to not enjoy it.

@Christmasfairy2020

Oh wow, my dd is exactly the same. Everywhere I look she's started a new project. She will cut up clothes, upcycle things, sew etc. It's impossible to clear up after her...she's a whirlwind of spare fabric, glue sticks and pipe cleaners! At least it keeps her busy!

[quote nukeitfromorbit]@pottedpalm
Indeed; you wouldn’t pop to the door if you were a senior executive negotiating with a Chinese company, or the Saudis.

very true but nor would you be working from home so you could chat with the roofer in this position either.

Honestly given that the OP has told us her DH job isn't especially well paid or senior how likely do you think this scenario applies here.

How many really vital meetings like this do you think take place at home with a houseful of kids and a roofer on the way?[/quote]
Of course you could be working from home doing this! DH did, well before Covid. With family in the house. He was not disturbed by small DTs as they knew not to interrupt when he was working.
That’s not to say this scenario applies her, I realise that. I was responding to different posters.

This is the most refreshing thread I think I have ever read on here. I really thought I was alone in feeling like this x

Don't get me wrong there are elements I enjoy of not working this summer (I'm sure I will remember it with rose tinted glasses) but my DH does such long hours there are days i get so down

My two are teenagers now but I do renember how hard it was. I was a SAHM. It was my choice and I loved it, but not everyday that’s for sure! We were very lucky to have merlin passes so we’d go to legoland, chessington,thorpe park as much as possible, that always tired them right out.

I’d make a big list of possible things to do like picnics inbthe park or our garden, games day (basically just lots of board games/made up games). Movie day, I’d make tickets and we’d set up a pick n mix station, they loved pretending to be at the cinema. We’d do cooking, simple things like fairy cakes or flapjacks (let them make the mess it keeps them busy). I was by no means a perfect parent and some days I’d just want to be left alone and just one more visit to the park I felt would tip me over the edge. I never felt guilty about telling them it’s a tv day today and just do nothing sweet f a all day. You can’t entertain them all day every day. Some days are boring and that’s good for them, they need to learn to entertain themselves. To have down time to read a book or play with their toys.
Have you got any friends you can do a kid swap with? I had a few friends with children the same age as both my DCs and I’d take their eldest they’d take my youngest and the kids would be happy to have a friend over they would just play in the garden or in their room, usually leaving me alone!!

Its very possible I look back on the toddler years through rose coloured spectacles but I think I enjoyed them once I got into a rhythm. I worked full time but spent a lot of time on my own with the kids when I wasn't.

If we went to the shops for a few supplies we could spin that out with going for a coffee for me and gingerbread men for the kids. We could come back via a little park.

We did quite a lot of cooking and crafts.
Making biscuits
Decorating cup cakes
Fillled the roasting tins with paint and then walking on long sheets of paper.
Salt dough
Painting
Board games
Treasure hunts
Hide and seek
Water play - washing up clean pots and pans
Scrap books - cutting and pasting from old magazines each into their own scrap book
Making assault courses in the garden (and pretending to time them)
Building dens in the house
Play dates
Picnic in the park
Going to different parks and playgrounds out of our area

Anyway good luck OP. My H was largely absent too but I didn't care.