I'm 31 weeks pregnant and he has told no one

[victopai]

Please can I get some advice on how I need to deal with this situation. I have been with my partner for 2 years (live separately). And I found out I was pregnant in jan (this is after years of previous fertility treatment so a shock). I'm now due in 7 weeks and he has told no one. He goes out with friends and has not told them. Has not told his ex I even exist or his children. This is dragging my self esteem to the ground. He is now saying he wants to be in a relationship with me but not ready for a child. That's fine, but I don't feel he can keep this on back burner any longer. What would you do in my situation? At the moment I am trying to plod along hoping for a change or/and exploding at the thought of our son being denied. I feel he wants the perks of a "relationship" with none of the commitment. Do I tell his friends and family, do I leave and never speak to him again, wait and empathise? It's been the worst 7 months of my life and it's breaking me. Thank you for reading

@victopai - your update made me love you a lot.
I just read the thread, and your ex's attitude made me feel sick. Really sick.

This little person is going to make your life so full, you're going to barely remember the twat of a sperm donor.
That's all he deserves to be.
I know you are going to be an excellent Mum. Being a single Mum is never easy, but it's a lot better than trying to coparent with a delusional arsehole.
Trust me - I have experienced both.

You absolutely rock.

Well done OP.

That took a lot of courage.

It was the right thing to do though. For you and your baby.

I'm glad you have family support.

As fir your ex, stay strong now.

Remember he's no right to be in the delivery room with you. He may demand this now you've ended it as a way to get back at you.

As pp's have said, don't put him on the birth certificate and give the baby your surname.

Good luck

Good for you op!
Give that baby your surname and don’t look back 💪🏻

Leave him 100%. Best foot forward 💐

Sorry, I missed the update. Well done 🌻

Onwards and upwards. Focus on your miracle baby and get nesting.

For what it's worth, being a single parent is a million times better than being stuck in a crappy relationship. You've got this! But make sure you've also got CMS on the case, he doesn't get to "not be ready" to pay for the baby he has made.

Well done op. You deserve so much better than him. I would also be spreading word of your pregnancy far and wide.

Get rid of him OP. You and your baby deserve better!

Just read that you ditched him! Good on ya girl! You did the right thing!

Good on you! Now keep your chin held high and you're already the best mummy for your baby for putting you both first too

Realise your own self worth, for goodness sake. Why is he being allowed to call the shots? Screw that.

@QweenJinx

Realise your own self worth, for goodness sake. Why is he being allowed to call the shots? Screw that.

Read the update

Good luck op! You are going to love that baby more than you thought possible

You say leave but you aren’t living together. I think you have invested more in this relationship than he has. Hold your head high and treat him for what he is. A friend with benefits who got you pregnant. If you don’t want to be his friend with benefits who happens to be pregnant you should end the relationship and just enjoy your much wanted baby.

What a shit bag, he doesn’t deserve you or your baby. You’ve done the right thing.
Good luck with your baby op, and have a lovely spa day with the sis. You are going to be a wonderful, strong, capable mum when the time comes

OP,
Well done.
This is a happy day, though it may not feel like it yet.

The number of threads on MN from lovely first time mothers stressed and upset because of utter wasters.

Men that spoil motherhood because they drag them down with their complete inability to be decent men.

You are going to be a great mum and your baby will thrive with one great parent.

Keep posting if you need to.

I'm really sorry this has happened to you and commend your strength at this awfully sad time. You really have made the best decision.

Well done to you OP! Wishing you and you lovely baby a wonderful life ahead x

Well done @victopai, it’s going to be tough going but you will do it and you will do it with self respect, your head held high and give yourself the chance to find the relationship you deserve in the future. What a great example to your little one.

I think it sounds like he's affecting you and your baby negatively.

You have a nice job, good maternity. You have 2 months before the baby is here.

It may be better to cut ties now, apply for CMS (call G4s options and see what they say) , and get some support lined up for when your lovely baby arrives.

You don't need to be worrying about him when the baby gets here.

Well done for walking away

You and your baby deserve a better life

Try and enjoy the last few weeks before baby comes, sleep as much as you can, get everything ready, yours and babies bags and dont even think about him, he isnt worth the sadness.
Be happy you are blessed with a lovely baby

*Few months before baby comes :) x

Well done, I wish you all the best x