I'm 31 weeks pregnant and he has told no one

[victopai]

Please can I get some advice on how I need to deal with this situation. I have been with my partner for 2 years (live separately). And I found out I was pregnant in jan (this is after years of previous fertility treatment so a shock). I'm now due in 7 weeks and he has told no one. He goes out with friends and has not told them. Has not told his ex I even exist or his children. This is dragging my self esteem to the ground. He is now saying he wants to be in a relationship with me but not ready for a child. That's fine, but I don't feel he can keep this on back burner any longer. What would you do in my situation? At the moment I am trying to plod along hoping for a change or/and exploding at the thought of our son being denied. I feel he wants the perks of a "relationship" with none of the commitment. Do I tell his friends and family, do I leave and never speak to him again, wait and empathise? It's been the worst 7 months of my life and it's breaking me. Thank you for reading

[Dina0]

Im really sorry to hear you are going through this it sounds horrible. I would definitely tell his family and friends about the baby especially the ex as his children deserve to know that they are about to have a sibling. I wouldn't push a relationship with your child but at least everyone has the relevant information.

In terms of a relationship with this man, if i was you it would be a HELL NO as he can't have his cake and eat it too. The fact that he's only now telling you he's not ready to be a father major red flag and he already has kids soo very confusing.

Letting go is the best thing you can do for your child surely you dont want to see you spending years on end with a man who only wants to be with you on his terms, not healthy at all. If you have a girl it teaches her that this is how she should expect to be treated. If you have a boy this will be how he treats women in the future.

I would get him on child support and leave it at that xx

[DoubleTweenQueen]

@victopai I am thinking of you, and hoping you are feeling much more positive about yourself and your future.
Congratulations on your pregnancy, and hope these last week's go smoothly for you and LO X
I hope you will continue to put yourself first

[DrManhattan]

Well done. All the best xxx

[FatherNoFather]

Well done OP - and congratulations for losing the dead weight - I'm really happy for you. As a PP said, there will be (very) tough times ahead - that's normal with new parenthood - but any time things seem really difficult then make sure you get help/support - sounds like you have a good network especially with your sister. Wishing you all the best (and hoping to hear an update when the baby is born!) x