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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not self isolate with baby?

149 replies

auferste · 03/08/2021 16:25

My son is 7 months old, he went to his dads on Saturday overnight and his dad brought him back Sunday afternoon. Today, he messaged saying he can't see DS as he has to self isolate as his younger brother has tested positive for covid. DS would've been in contact with the brother.

WIBU to not isolate with him? I live alone so I'd have to Isolate as well and DS is fine.

OP posts:
NoLeafClover · 03/08/2021 19:58

@99victoria

I always find these threads so interesting - people saying they haven't been able to see friends/family for 14 months, someone always isolating etc. None of my friends or family have had covid or had to isolate at all. Myself and my daughter and grand-daughter have been in schools throughout the pandemic (we live in a big city in the south of England). Since the rules were relaxed my adult daughter who lives with us has been to a 3 day festival, I have been to a non-SD theatre with 2 500 people (mostly without masks) for a 3 hours performance indoors, we have met regularly with lots of friends for parties, meals, days out etc and still NONE of us have caught covid.

I have just checked the stats for our local hospital - no deaths in the last 7 days, 30 people admitted to hosptal. We're a city of around 300 000 people.

Why such stark differences between people's experiences I wonder?

Because different people have different experiences. Do you really need that explained to you? Plus if there's a case or two in one's family / friend group obviously it's going to spread.

Good for you and the people you know, that none of you have had Covid. Seriously. I, unfortunately know lots of people who have had it, a handful who have been very ill, and one who died.

You wonder why there's such a stark difference between people's experiences? Do you care to hypothesise or are you just being goady?

bookishtartlet · 03/08/2021 19:58

Yes, you need to isolate. I had to with my 6 month old who was a close contact as was I, but my 6yo was not. Its not ideal but it is what it is. My whole support network had to isolate and 4 of them tested positive.

Book a pcr test for the baby.

StripyHorse · 03/08/2021 19:59

Step 1 is to establish what contact your DS had with the person who tested positive and what the timescales were.

It might be that it was outside the infectious period (2 days before symptoms starting or, if asymptomatic, positive test) or that he wasn't close enough to be a contact. If that's the case he won't have to isolate.

If he is a contact then he should isolate - at the very least, avoid bringing him into contact with others. A walk in his buggy away from others is very different risk wise than sending him to nursery.

NoLeafClover · 03/08/2021 20:02

Sorry, hypothesize.

LondonJax · 03/08/2021 20:02

@Candydreamer - the rules after 16th August are not 'you don't have to isolate' if you're vaccinated or under18 they are 'you are advised to take a PCR test if you've been in contact with someone who now has a positive Covid result'. Then, if the PCR test you take comes back positive you have to isolate by law.

IceCreamAndCandyfloss · 03/08/2021 20:03

A seven month old won’t care about not going outside and there was contact with a positive case so of course you isolate.

blameitonthecaffeine · 03/08/2021 20:13

Your ex has to isolate anyway so why doesn't the baby just stay with his dad for the isolation period and then you won't have to isolate?

Hopefully the dad has a garden too which would make it easier for him.

Candydreamer · 03/08/2021 20:21

[quote LondonJax]@Candydreamer - the rules after 16th August are not 'you don't have to isolate' if you're vaccinated or under18 they are 'you are advised to take a PCR test if you've been in contact with someone who now has a positive Covid result'. Then, if the PCR test you take comes back positive you have to isolate by law.[/quote]
yes, key word being advised and also IF you test positive....

MikeWozniaksGloriousTache · 03/08/2021 20:28

You’ve already decided what you’re doing so why bother posting??

MiddleParking · 03/08/2021 21:16

@99victoria

I always find these threads so interesting - people saying they haven't been able to see friends/family for 14 months, someone always isolating etc. None of my friends or family have had covid or had to isolate at all. Myself and my daughter and grand-daughter have been in schools throughout the pandemic (we live in a big city in the south of England). Since the rules were relaxed my adult daughter who lives with us has been to a 3 day festival, I have been to a non-SD theatre with 2 500 people (mostly without masks) for a 3 hours performance indoors, we have met regularly with lots of friends for parties, meals, days out etc and still NONE of us have caught covid.

I have just checked the stats for our local hospital - no deaths in the last 7 days, 30 people admitted to hosptal. We're a city of around 300 000 people.

Why such stark differences between people's experiences I wonder?

The coincidence of these people’s social circles never being able to see them because they’re poorly or isolating always makes me chuckle.
GreenFingersWouldBeHandy · 03/08/2021 23:00

@99victoria @MiddleParking

Well aren't you the lucky ones. My friend was on a ventilator for 64 days, her kidneys failed and we all thought she was going to die. In hospital for three months in total. She survived but is now registered as disabled and will require surgery to correct scar tissue left from her tracheotomy.

Another friend was in hospital but didn't require ventilation. A year later, he still has trouble with breathing and permanent damage to his lungs.

Another had a thankfully short trip to ICU, and seems relatively unscathed.

Another one who has been uber-careful as she is on the 'vulnerable' list has just tested positive last week.

But yes, it's all a coincidence. Please chuckle away as it makes you so happy.

Snowflakekiller · 03/08/2021 23:25

@GreenFingersWouldBeHandy

Test baby, take a test yourself and follow government advice, instead of posting on here.

Sorry, just had it with selfish people claiming they don't need to isolate. YES YOU DO. This is why half of my friends are now testing positive. And I haven't seen them for 14 months.

Living alone means you're isolated already, you just might need to order in some shopping.

This.. Exactly this in a nutshell.

Your child and you by default have been in contact and the law says you have to isolate. The law doesnt say you need to ask on social media for a bloody vote to clear your conscious if you decide to nip to tesco for a sticky bun.

DeflatedGinDrinker · 03/08/2021 23:25

No Op you do not have to isolate as you are better then everyone else. Who cares if you or your baby pass on covid to someone who it could make really ill. Doesn't effect you does it Hmm

LordOfTheThings · 03/08/2021 23:27

@99victoria that's great. So because you and your friends etc have been unaffected you 'wonder'? Wonder what exactly? If the many many people on MN are telling the truth about losing loved ones or what?

Trampolean · 03/08/2021 23:30

Your child and you by default have been in contact and the law says you have to isolate

No it doesn't. Only the person who has been in close contact does, in this case just the baby. Sure if someone is in the same household as a contact and can happily isolate ie work from home or whatever then cool, but they are not legally obligated to, and workplaces won't accept it as a reason not to go in. And legally its only if test and trace make contact.

Piccalino3 · 03/08/2021 23:39

Honestly OP, I wouldn't unless test and trace get in touch and then it's a legal requirement. If you use common sense you can see that a baby in a buggy on a walk will pose very little risk. I do think you should stay away from shops, indoor places and other people but isolating no. I'm sure someone will be along to say I'd be responsible for hospitalisations and deaths but I struggle to see how risky a baby in a buggy in the fresh air is when many asymptomatic people are just carrying on as normal.

LunaMuffinTop · 03/08/2021 23:39

@Trampolean never said it was down to a 7 month old baby it’s down to selfish people like the OP who think they don’t have to self isolate that’s got nothing to do with the government and everything to do with peoples shitty attitude because they care about no one but themselves so long as they are alright everyone around them doesn’t matter but how do these people know that the person they just walked past isn’t immunocompromised or a carer for someone that is. You have to isolate so that no one else has to die it’s that simple don’t know why people have to make something so easy so difficult just stay at home for 10 days keep yourself and others around you safe.

Trampolean · 03/08/2021 23:46

[quote LunaMuffinTop]@Trampolean never said it was down to a 7 month old baby it’s down to selfish people like the OP who think they don’t have to self isolate that’s got nothing to do with the government and everything to do with peoples shitty attitude because they care about no one but themselves so long as they are alright everyone around them doesn’t matter but how do these people know that the person they just walked past isn’t immunocompromised or a carer for someone that is. You have to isolate so that no one else has to die it’s that simple don’t know why people have to make something so easy so difficult just stay at home for 10 days keep yourself and others around you safe.[/quote]
For starters OP hasn't been contacted by test and trace, yes the person has told her, but as its so slow and inefficient, people are being told days after someone reports a positive test or worst still, not at all. For everyone who doesn't want to isolate, I guarantee there will be substantially more who are never told as its inadequate. The rules are also ridiculous, in this scenario OP doesn't haven't to isolate, just like siblings of those isolating as in contact with a positive case at school can waltz into school even though they live in close quarters and are likely to have mild symptoms if any, or if you're a nurse who lives with someone who is isolating as a contact you'll be expected to go into work. And its not that simple for everyone, there are a host of reasons why it's not just a case of shutting the doors for 10 days for all.

The government failed, their policies, inaction and quite frankly criminal decision making and systematic cutting of key services over the years is the reason. Not someone who doesn't need to isolate anyway taking their baby out for a walk in the pram to get them to sleep.

worriedatthemoment · 03/08/2021 23:59

@LondonJax a lot on here aren't going to like that

Gilead · 04/08/2021 00:04
  1. Brother in all likelihood caught Covid because someone was like you - not isolating when they know they should.
  2. you are arguing with everyone who says isolate so you probably have no intention of doing so; in which case why are you posting?
LunaMuffinTop · 04/08/2021 02:53

@Trampolean it’s laughable that you somehow think the government is to blame for people’s selfish shitty I’m alright Jack attitude the fact is half the population have no morals and don’t care enough about anyone to not stay at home and isolate if they have come into contact with someone who has tested positive we wouldn’t be in this situation if people could follow a few simple rules and stopped blaming the government for their choices all these people who think it’s ok to walk round after being told that someone they have been round has tested positive is the reason why this virus is still spreading not sure how you can say it’s the governments fault that people care about no one but themselves but these same people would be the first ones to complain if they tested positive for the virus or someone they knew did funny how that one works isn’t it when the shoes on the other foot the people round them are selfish but they where ok to run round still before that.

@Gilead I completely agree with you.

Saoirse82 · 04/08/2021 03:22

YABVU, of course the baby has to isolate, he's a close contact, what makes you more special than anyone else? Most children have had to isolate at some stage.

SD1978 · 04/08/2021 03:46

Why bother to post it you've basically already made up your mind? The answer is yea, you should. Baby has been in physical contact with a covid positive person. They need to isolate. You clearly don't want to, and don't sound as if you plan to, so why come on a public forum, wind people up, and do exactly what you want to anyway?

Trampolean · 04/08/2021 05:06

[quote LunaMuffinTop]@Trampolean it’s laughable that you somehow think the government is to blame for people’s selfish shitty I’m alright Jack attitude the fact is half the population have no morals and don’t care enough about anyone to not stay at home and isolate if they have come into contact with someone who has tested positive we wouldn’t be in this situation if people could follow a few simple rules and stopped blaming the government for their choices all these people who think it’s ok to walk round after being told that someone they have been round has tested positive is the reason why this virus is still spreading not sure how you can say it’s the governments fault that people care about no one but themselves but these same people would be the first ones to complain if they tested positive for the virus or someone they knew did funny how that one works isn’t it when the shoes on the other foot the people round them are selfish but they where ok to run round still before that.

@Gilead I completely agree with you.[/quote]
Going to assume a 7 month old isn't walking around, seen as though OP doesn't have to isolate so you're on about a baby in pram. No I don't think the government is to blame for people being selfish, but they're more to blame than people like OP, the guilt trip is ridiculous.

LunaMuffinTop · 04/08/2021 05:37

@Trampolean going to assume that your just trying to be a goady fucker and probably one of those people who thinks that if something doesn’t have an affect on them then it’s ok to do whatever the hell they like that’s a great attitude to have no wonder we are in such a mess. Your no better than the OP. It’s better that the op and her baby just stay at home for 10 days instead of risking going out and while people won’t be able to catch the virus from a baby op has been round her baby so they could easily pick it up from the OP like I said it’s better to just isolate even if they don’t have the virus is it really worth risking spreading it to other people.