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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Should I buy a drum kit when I live in a SD house?

116 replies

Drumkitsituation · 02/08/2021 18:37

The whole question is in the title really but to add a little more detail.....

I have recently fallen back in love with playing the drums after a twenty year break. I’m a forty year old mum of 2, and it feels hugely amazing to be doing something new and playful and not child or goal orientated.

I live in a semi detached house, neighbours are nice, they are currently WFH since pandemic, not sure of their long terms plans. They have grown up children.

I want a drum kit. The electronic one I play on in lessons is about 6k worth of stuff but according to my teacher I can get an entry level electronic one for about £500.

However, I want a real one, preferably a Pearl export like the one I had as a teenager! I can get a second hand one of these for £300 and wouldn’t want or need to upgrade that.

I’d probably play for an hour or so 4 ish times a week whilst the kids are at school/in afternoon at weekends.

The only room we could fit it in would be a room adjoining their house on the ground floor.

The houses are 30s, robust, thick walls, neither of us can really hear the other day to day.

YANBU - it’s your house, get the drum kit you want

YABU - selfish, think of your neighbours, save up for the electronic

Thanks

OP posts:

MrsHuntGeneNotJeremyObviously · 02/08/2021 18:39

I think when you live in close proximity to other people, you do need to be considerate of their comfort. I wouldn't buy a drum kit if I liked my neighbours and wanted to stay on good terms.

Glenthebattleostrich · 02/08/2021 18:41

my neighbours brat has a drum kit and spends hours banging. I'm ready to set fire to their house (unsurprisingly not the only anti social thing they do - parties on their drive until 3am during covid, regularly park across our drive, vacuum the car at 7am on a Sunday morning but complain to the council if they hear a gnat fart 3 streets away)

But seriously, the noise is horrible. If you want your neighbours to hate you then fine but really its an incredibly antisocial instrument unless you can use headphones

MonkeyPuddle · 02/08/2021 18:42

My old neighbour had a drum kit. The whole street hated him.

SheldonesqueTheBstard · 02/08/2021 18:42

So many interesting posts today. And not one with a posting history.

If my neighbour thought that drums were acceptable, then I’m sure they’d be equally accepting of bagpipes.

LemonFantaGin · 02/08/2021 18:43

I think you would be very unreasonable to buy a real drum kit in any residential area, sorry.

StoneofDestiny · 02/08/2021 18:43

No if you live in a semi.

DogsSausages · 02/08/2021 18:44

Can you get the electric ones with headphones instead

GoodVibesHere · 02/08/2021 18:44

It would be a particularly crappy thing to do to your neighbours.

Batshittery · 02/08/2021 18:45

I would hate it if my neighbour started playing the drums. I'm not sure what I could do about it, but it seems really selfish when you live in a semi.

user16395699 · 02/08/2021 18:46

No.

Doesn't matter how amazing or life affirming it is for you, you are part of a community and need to act accordingly.

trollopolis · 02/08/2021 18:50

Well the obvious thing is to talk to your neighbours and find times when you won't be disturbing them. Which might be less than you want, but still enough to be fun.

As thus didn't occur to you, do we assume you've already fallen out with them over something else?

gingerbiscuits · 02/08/2021 18:56

I can see both sides here.

Have you got any other options re where to locate it? A garage perhaps? Shed??

Our neighbour's teenager once had a full on 'old style' kit (with cymbals!) & they put it in their conservatory in the garden, which made it bearable...well, apart from the many lovely Summer evenings which could have been quieter!!

Cryalot2 · 02/08/2021 19:27

Can you soundproof any?
I suppose if you are only going to play strict 1 hour during the daytime yes ok. 1 hour daytime is no worse than dogs barking, kids screaming, loud music or or noise.

recededpronunciation · 02/08/2021 19:29

I play the drums and would only consider an electronic kit in those circumstances.

SisterAgatha · 02/08/2021 19:30

Nah you buy a Roland kit or rent and sound proof a lock up to play in

SisterAgatha · 02/08/2021 19:31

Unless you can fully soundproof your own house which I doubt tbh, sorry

possumgoddess · 02/08/2021 19:32

I live near a very nice neighbour who plays the drums. I am in one of a pair of semi detached houses, he is in another set so 2 doors away from me. He has his drum kit in a 'sound-proofed' garage..... It is not sound proof! However we have come to an arrangement that drumming stops at 10pm at the latest.... He is a very nice neighbour but we can definitely hear his drumming despite all the precautions he has put in place. Don't do it! Your neighbours might not be as nice as us 😁

RedHelenB · 02/08/2021 19:35

I don't think yabu. Just choose the times your neighbours are out.

Lupinhere37 · 02/08/2021 19:36

My DF used to be a professional drummer. He grew up in a Victorian SD house. My grandparents’ old neighbours were still complaining about his drumming antics as a teenager/young man when I was well into my 20s and I’d bump into them around town.
He was notorious in the whole street it seemed and not in good way either

feellikeanalien · 02/08/2021 19:39

We had neighbours whose son used to play the drums. It was horrendous. Especially when I had a new baby who suffered from colic and did not sleep easily. One solid hour of drums four times a week would be awful.

We ended up falling out with them (not solely because of that but it certainly contributed).

We lived in an old house with thick walls. Their house wasn't even attached to ours but he played in an outhouse.

trunumber · 02/08/2021 19:41

I'm really surprised by these answers - 4 hours a week? I think that's fine.

Moiraroseswigs · 02/08/2021 19:42

There is a massive green in front of my house. Someone in a house at the other side of the green, so not particularly close neighbours, plays the drums. It's probably for about an hour 3 or 4 times a week. We and many of our neighbours are working from home so even when it's during the day it can be very annoying and disruptive and neighbours have commented on it too. The repetition of the same sequence over and over is a killer. I can only imagine what it's like for their nearer neighbours. During the recent hot weather it was particularly annoying as we had to close windows whenever it started.

If you really want to just please be conscious of other people and consider options like soundproofing or electronic drums with headphones.

Bagelsandbrie · 02/08/2021 19:44

I’d cry if I was your neighbour.

BoysTownGang · 02/08/2021 19:46

Some horrid fecker across the road from decided to “practise” his drums over an entire Easter holiday weekend. We had family here on Easter Sunday (travelled over 100 miles to see us) and this selfish Muppet ruined the whole day.
Please think twice, Op…
Good neighbourly relations are worth so much.
I cheered on the day the whole rotten lot finally left our road. Arseholes.

ActonSquirrel · 02/08/2021 19:46

My neighbours daily one hour practice made me want to execute him when I was working from home full time on lockdown

He lives half way down the street and I hear him loud and clear.

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