Should I buy a drum kit when I live in a SD house?

[Drumkitsituation]

The whole question is in the title really but to add a little more detail.....

I have recently fallen back in love with playing the drums after a twenty year break. I’m a forty year old mum of 2, and it feels hugely amazing to be doing something new and playful and not child or goal orientated.

I live in a semi detached house, neighbours are nice, they are currently WFH since pandemic, not sure of their long terms plans. They have grown up children.

I want a drum kit. The electronic one I play on in lessons is about 6k worth of stuff but according to my teacher I can get an entry level electronic one for about £500.

However, I want a real one, preferably a Pearl export like the one I had as a teenager! I can get a second hand one of these for £300 and wouldn’t want or need to upgrade that.

I’d probably play for an hour or so 4 ish times a week whilst the kids are at school/in afternoon at weekends.

The only room we could fit it in would be a room adjoining their house on the ground floor.

The houses are 30s, robust, thick walls, neither of us can really hear the other day to day.

YANBU - it’s your house, get the drum kit you want

YABU - selfish, think of your neighbours, save up for the electronic

Thanks

Get soundproofing pads 🤷‍♀️

You can play it without the soundproofing and ask your neighbours to let you know if it's disturbing them. And then you can use soundproofing pads if you are disturbing them, or ask them what sorts of times they need quiet if they're WFH.

Tbh if I wanted a drum kit I'd probably just buy one and I live in a 3-house-terrace but maybe I'm a wanker 😂

@Zolrets

I’m going to be controversial- a few years ago I’d have said no way but my DH got a kit about 19 months ago and plays for about 45 minutes once a day. We are in a detached but not remote, however I can easily wfh with this going on. You can damp the sound down with whatever those rubber mat things are and those pillow things. It isn’t as loud as I thought it would be. He wouldn’t play all day or at odd hours. Also, it isn’t random thrashing, there is way more musicality about it than I thought when he started assembling said kit.

You can easily cope with it because it's your son, and it's under your control.

The reason noise from neighbours is so stressful is that you can't control it. It's not your family's sound. You don't have the ability to say stop, or 'can you turn that down please' . I'm not saying you do, it's knowing that you can that makes ones own household's noise far less stressful.

Just as your own kids playing on a trampoline/shooting basketball hoops/squealing in the garden is bearable, but your neighbours isn't, your coping with your son's drumming has no bearing on how your neighbours feel.

There are ways to reduce sound drumheadauthority.com/articles/drum-kit-noise-reduction-13-tips-to-make-drums-quieter/

I think if you were a professional musician or drum teacher it would be a no. If you were a teenager with a gang of mates and long afternoons and late night jamming it would be a no. However, you could stick to 20 minutes once a day? At a considerate time?

Any other drummers only here to see if they can spot their neighbours ?
(I know my neighbours can't hear me btw)

OK but just don't do a finale like Keith Moon and kick your drums over and smash them up...

... or take an accidental overdose.

@saraclara it’s my DH not my DS but I take your point. I think the reality CAN be less painful than you think. He doesn’t play for longer than 40 mins ever, possibly more like 20 some days and the drum set is damped down.

@SuffolkBargeWoman pls tell me your drum set is assembled on the front of your barge? I will be disappointed at anything less.

Are you insane

You know they WFH and still think this is a good idea!

You need electronic + headphones

The electronic ones are not silent! We have a Roland kit, and I still restrict DS to which hours he can practise out of consideration for our (v lovely) neighbours. They have never once mentioned his kit/playing...so hopefully we haven't hacked them off too.much.

Our DS has electronic drum kit in (our) semi detached house, I find it really stressful; despite putting it two walls across from our neighbours adjoining wall I worry every time he plays that we are disturbing them. My dh (who plays guitar and grew up in a detached house) does not have these worries…but does agree on headphones etc! I reckon electronic is the only fair way when you live close to people

Absolutely not.

DS had a digital one and that was loud enough even with earphones. We has set times for him to practice so our neighbour knew when it would start and finish. It's just not fair to have a real one. Can you rent some time at a studio so you can get your fix?

Seems mine is a very unpopular opinion….get the drums & enjoy your life. Be respectful of your neighbours, but don’t live with regrets if it’s one of your life’s passions!

Your neighbours work from home?!

And you have to ask this question?

It was a YABU before I read that they WFH. Now it's a YABVVVU

My DS has an electronic drum kit, with ear phones. We live in a semi and tested it out by me going round to my neighbours house and getting him to play whilst I listened. You could hear the thud of the base, so I put padding underneath it.

He is not allowed to play before 10am and not after 7.30, unless we know our neighbour is out.

She is lovely and I wouldn’t want to annoy her, so we are respectful.

No way would I have allowed my DS to have an acoustic set, unless I was a totally selfish arse who hated my neighbour.

No you bloody shouldn’t get one. It would be unbelievably selfish

Decent silencer pads should make that entirely doable. Go for it OP.

Would you be happy if your neighbour played very loud Drum & Bass music solidly for a few hours every week? Especially if you're WFH?

I had this decision to make a few years ago and went for the "real" kit - and I wish I'd gone for the electronic ones instead!
I worry every time I play that it will annoy the neighbours and it has spoiled the enjoyment for me. We live in a detached but the neighbours are very close by.

Please don't. My neighbours son plays the drums and it has made our lives a misery. We tried to agree to specific times to be reasonable but he never stuck to it. We can't hear our own TV when he's playing. We complained to the parents many times, they said in all seriousness "but he'll be famous one day"! I said I don't care! I want to live in my home in peace. So they built a shed and supposedly sound proofed it but it's not. It's marginally better but I can't believe anyone thinks it's acceptable in a residential area.

My neighbour had a drum kit. I work from home, it’s incredibly annoying, and they were in the semi next door, not the one adjoined to me, older houses, you could still hear.

Don’t do it

Funny isn't it, responsible adult able to play drums and will do so at reasonable hours....ABSO FUCKING UTELY NOT

Atlas Fethrington the 3rd aged 7 has started to learn the violin for his obvious peerage in the London symphony orchestra that's to come because he's a gifted child don't you know......"oh how lovely"

I know who I would rather live next door to. 😂

My neighbours teenage son had a drum kit. Tbf he didn't play it for hours at a time or at anti social times but it was loud and annoying.
They actually are a lovely family but was so happy when he left home with his drums.

If you are using it during reasonable hours and it's not for hours on end I don't see the issue.

My neighbour in a group of townhouses plays drums and does not bother me.

I'd suggest investing in practice pads though.

When I lived in a semi, I could hear the neighbour’s drum kit. There was another property backing on to mine, then a road, then another house, and they lived in the house attached to that.

I moved.

I think yabvu here tbh.ask yourself if you would like to work from home .then have a drum set on the other side of the wall! If you want to stay friends then please please just Don't!