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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Encouraging DS to declare his ASD

151 replies

natureleaves · 02/08/2021 16:16

DS who is 21 is starting a PGCE this September; me, DH and DS all think he likely has ASD but doesn't have a diagnosis of ASD. I know it's not my place to interfere as DS is an adult but should I encourage him to mention his ASD to the uni and school he'll be placed in. Knowing DS he won't mention it and only might do if he started to seriously struggle. Also as DS doesn't have a diagnosis is there anything legally that could happen by declaring that he thinks he has ASD.

OP posts:
GetTaeFuck · 02/08/2021 16:19

Nothing will happen by him declaring he thinks he has ASD.

Because two parents thinking does not a diagnosis equal.

HazyDaisy123456 · 02/08/2021 16:24

If he is doing a PGCE the Uni he is attending should have a disability team who can advise him. However, without I diagnosis he is in no mans land. So he would need a diagnosis so it would be better to start the ball rolling with this sooner rather than later by him contacting his GP in the first insistence asking the GP to refer him and also right a supportive letter confirming that X is being referred to such and such to investigate suspected ASD. He can give a copy of this evidence to his Universities Disability Team as well as using this to apply for DSA.

stripedbananas · 02/08/2021 16:25

In most Unis they test everyone for things like this including dyslexia, dyspraxia etc

Tal45 · 02/08/2021 16:26

I think you might be better off encouraging him to get a diagnosis. Adult diagnosis is much quicker than childhood diagnosis in my experience but still takes a while so worth doing it asap. What do you mean by anything legally happening? With a diagnosis he might be entitled to some support and possibly a laptop but I wouldn't have too great expectations.

stripedbananas · 02/08/2021 16:26

Everyone has to take an online test for it

ClumpingBambooIsALie · 02/08/2021 16:26

How can you just segue smoothly from "we think he likely has ASD" to "his ASD"?

Kanaloa · 02/08/2021 16:29

So you think he should just tell people he has ASD despite having no diagnosis? I don’t think that would be a good idea. If he wants to seek a diagnosis then you could support him with this but (as the mother of an autistic child) people saying they have conditions they are not diagnosed with isn’t helpful.

Original poster
natureleaves · 02/08/2021 16:31

No I don't think he should mention he has ASD but I do think he should mention that he thinks he has ASD.

OP posts:
Punxsutawney · 02/08/2021 16:32

stripedbananas an autism diagnosis requires a multidisciplinary assessment, it's not a quick online test.

Vanishun · 02/08/2021 16:33

@natureleaves

No I don't think he should mention he has ASD but I do think he should mention that he thinks he has ASD.
He can approach disability services for an assessment. Without it they're unlikely to be able to do much.
clickychicky · 02/08/2021 16:34

I think be needs the assessment first.

StrangeToSee · 02/08/2021 16:36

Why have you never tried to get him assessed and diagnosed before? Without that it’s just guess work.

In my area the waiting lists for adult ASD assessments is over a year.

Is seeing a private psychiatrist an option?

GetTaeFuck · 02/08/2021 16:37

Uni might do a screening test that he can take to his GP who will then do another screening test and refer him if warranted.

Ffs OP.

puddock · 02/08/2021 16:38

What are you basing that on striped bananas? Online screening may be used in universities for specific learning difficulties (dyslexia, dysgraphia, dyscalculia) but not for autism spectrum conditions, and AFAIK is also something that students would opt in to rather than some thing generally applied.

Stoolpigeon21 · 02/08/2021 16:42

@stripedbananas

In most Unis they test everyone for things like this including dyslexia, dyspraxia etc
This is not true at all
Clarice99 · 02/08/2021 16:45

@natureleaves

DS who is 21 is starting a PGCE this September; me, DH and DS all think he likely has ASD but doesn't have a diagnosis of ASD. I know it's not my place to interfere as DS is an adult but should I encourage him to mention his ASD to the uni and school he'll be placed in. Knowing DS he won't mention it and only might do if he started to seriously struggle. Also as DS doesn't have a diagnosis is there anything legally that could happen by declaring that he thinks he has ASD.
Your son doesn't have a diagnosis, so you can't 'encourage him to mention his ASD'.

If you suspect ASD, the encouragement would be better and more appropriately channeled into getting a formal assessment.

I have a diagnosis of ASD. I have disclosed this to my employer and have 'reasonable adjustments' in place.

Once your son has an official diagnosis, as an adult, it's his choice whether he wishes to disclose.

From an adult perspective with reasonable adjustments in place, I am pro disclosure on a need to know basis.

Lovemusic33 · 02/08/2021 16:47

I think you should stay out of it. There are many undiagnosed people. It only becomes a issue if ASD is likely to get in the way of his role/job or if he needs extra support.

My dd is almost 18, has a diagnosis of Aspergers, it would be up to her to decide wether she tells an employer or not, wether she thinks she needs too.

Clarice99 · 02/08/2021 16:49

@stripedbananas

Everyone has to take an online test for it
This is incorrect.

If it were that simple to get a formal diagnosis there wouldn't be a massive waiting list.

In my area, it's around a 2 year wait for an adult assessment via the NHS.

intothewoodss · 02/08/2021 16:51

@stripedbananas

In most Unis they test everyone for things like this including dyslexia, dyspraxia etc
No they don't, where did you hear that?! Also there's no ASD 'test', it's a multidisciplinary assessment.
SionnachRua · 02/08/2021 16:54

But he doesn't have diagnosed ASD so nothing to declare. Just going on about how he might have ASD but isn't sure isn't really useful to anyone. They'd need to know what supports to put in place (if any) and that comes with an assessment.

That said, it's not your decision to make and I wouldn't make a issue out of it if he is against it.

Jerima · 02/08/2021 16:59

Does he think he has ASD or do you

Original poster
natureleaves · 02/08/2021 17:02

DS thinks he has ASD as do myself and DH, I don't think DS will go for an assessment, I was just wondering is it best to encourage him to or stay out of it as he's an adult and I don't want to be overbearing or interfering when I shouldn't be.

OP posts:
2reefsin30knots · 02/08/2021 17:06

As everyone has said, if DS thinks he might need adjustments in the workplace, he needs to go for assessment. In my area it's about £1k for a private assessment which would be quicker, so maybe you could support him with the cost.

Original poster
natureleaves · 02/08/2021 17:10

DS has said he doesn't have enough time to be getting a diagnosis during his PGCE as it will be full on enough as it is without getting assessed for ASD.

OP posts:
Clymene · 02/08/2021 17:13

It doesn't take very long to be assessed once the referral comes through. A couple of hours or so?

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