How many kids did you want v's how many you have

[RevolvingPivot]

I wanted 3. I've got 2.

Would like 2, but because of infertility, we are likely to have 1. Very grateful though!

(I have 1 just now)

@Briarshollow

I simply don’t understand and can’t imagine the yearning for a child. I have one and I love him but I didn’t want him. I never yearned for him. I wouldn’t be without him but I still don’t yearn for another. I find other people’s pregnancies and children utterly tedious. I wasn’t that interested in my own to be honest. I do sometimes wonder what’s missing from me. Especially when I read threads like this.

There’s nothing wrong with or missing from you. It’s a total myth that all women should be perpetually broody! Some people have a kid because they believe they’ll enjoy it and do a good job, without the yearning, they feel like it’d be nice but they’d be just as happy either way. For some it’s a really intensely emotion driven decision, others it’s more of a dispassionate weighing things up. Neither are wrong!

I wanted 1, preferably 2, definitely not any more. I have 2.

Thought I wanted two, had one. Realised one was all I wanted. Not overly maternal but love DD to bits and can't imagine having to give attention/time to a second child.

Wanted 4 and have only 1 due to secondary infertility.

Thought I wanted two, had one, horrific pregnancy and labour, sticking with one

Wanted 3 changed my mind now pregnant with number 4

Want 1 and after infertility and loss I’m finally 27 weeks pregnant with 1 and at the moment will be very happy to be done once she’s safely here.

Originally wanted 3, but we changed our mind after the second and we’re happy with that decision.

0 vs 0

Wanted 0. Then definitely only wanted 1. Have 1 but really want another one. I've really enjoyed being a mum.

Wanted 2 or 3.

Have 2. 1 living, 1 gone on ahead.

Wanted 0 have got 5 children.

Wanted 4, have 4.
Now weirdly want more, but won’t have them!

I always wanted 3 or 4. I've got one and am pregnant with no 2 and I don't think we'll have any more after this, pregnancy and newborn stage is too tough.

Wanted 0, now pregnant with my second.
Neither were planned.

Wanted 3 have 1. I wonder what might have been a lot

0 and 1

Wanted 4 and I’m lucky enough to have 4 blessed

Wanted 3...have 2... don't think we'll have a third tbh!

Thanks for the replies. There seem to be a lot that didn't want any and ended up with 4/5/6 were they all accidents or once you had your first did you change your minds?

I wanted 1, I have 1. Over The Moon.

Wanted 3. Was told I'd never have any. Have 1.

The statistician in me was too tantalised by the absolute cake of this thread's dataset. I collated the data and the analysis is as follows:

Number of water children:
I don't know - 6%
None - 15%
One - 7%
Two - 21%
Three - 26%
Four - 15%
Five or more - 10%

Number of children that were actually had:
None - 10%
One - 26%
Two - 34%
Three - 17%
Four - 8%
Five or more - 5%

Conclusions:

1. The mumsnet fertility rate is 2. Now, given that the actual UK (assuming that all the participants answered from the UK) is 1.6, that means that Mumsnet has an influence reach rate of around a 32% of the population (sum total-real total = percentage difference unreached, applied to 50% of population, also removed under 18s and over 80s, therefore reaching the above number). Mumsnet has an influence factor of a large political party.

1. Difference between desired and achieved number of children is 0.5. That means that half the women on Mumsnet miss out on a wanted child due to life circumstances. Also makes a valid point for increasing the tax credit limit to two: even this, child-emphasised, point of view indicates that the fertility rate will not go above population maintenance rate, while keeping healthcare, social security and pensions systems safe in the next generation.

1. The Mumsnet twinning rate is 1.26% - roughly twice the national coefficient