Cried at yoga this morning. Always stressed during Savasana. Why?

[WineRipened]

I'm posting here for traffic as I am not sure whether there is a dedicated exercise section.

Well as per the title, I cried during Savasana today and I want to know why I find it so much like torture and whether I should persist with it or whether I should ask the instructor if I could leave at the start of it.

Bit of history with it, I have always found it difficult. I tend to fidget, get itchy, scratch, feel anxious, move and wiggle but I endured it for a while. About 2 years ago I would just make an excuse at the start of the class that I had to leave early and that was normally ok. I left quietly and hopefully didn't disturb anyone. I have never thought too much about it, just that it feels deeply uncomfortable and I hate it.

It is not just savasana where I feel like this. Other situations would be having a beauty treatment where I have to lie still with my eyes closed and I'm supposed to be relaxing and enjoying it, having a CT scan for example, having to sit in a hairdressers or having to sit during meditation. These are the only examples that I can think of off the top of my head.

Anyway, new class that I'm going to about 3 weeks. First time, I was only person there so I told instructor that I disliked it. She suggested lying on my side. Fine that week and last week. Today however, I lay on my back to start with (had forgotten about the lying on my side thing) and instructor says 'WineRipened, you can lie on your side'. So, I switched to my side, hugged knees into chest as she suggested and then suddenly I felt the tears coming. I tried to disguise this onslaught of madness but eventually couldn't as I do ugly crying. Big red face and snot. So I sat up, turned my back to class and sat there sobbing great big sobs like a fucking loon. Instructor came over, asked permission, and sat beside me and hugged me and stroked my back. Tears and heaves continued, but I calmed a bit and hopefully other participants didn't notice.

So what the hell is wrong with me?

I'd really like to overcome this whatever-it-is as obviously it's not ideal to be disturbing the whole class at yoga and I really enjoy the rest of yoga and feel the benefits of it a lot. Also, the other situations are things I find hard too so would like to figure out a coping strategy for those. Currently, I take Diazepam if I have a hairdressing appointment for e.g.

You don’t have to do yoga. Maybe you should stop.

Oh - cross-posted. I didn’t get the sense you enjoyed it at all from your OP.

I’ve cried during savasana recently. I was on the verge of a full-on breakdown, really struggling with my mental health due to a combination of really stressful life experiences. I struggle more with savasana when I’m very stressed and/or anxious.

Could it be that you’re suppressing some emotions that you’re struggling to process, and the stillness makes it harder to keep them locked down?

Just skip it. I do videos at home and always feel uncomfortable so skip. Maybe some sort of emotional release is why you cry? I feel very vulnerable even lying on the floor at home.

Nothing is wrong with you.

Those positions are ones where you can't distract away from sadness and uncomfortable emotions with activity. It sounds awful to somebody who has been desperately avoiding those emotions for so long, but the best thing you could do is allow yourself to feel that crushing sadness and it will pass.

I did it once in a Meditation class. It hurt so much, it was grief and sorrow and loneliness and I had to sit there silently for another 40 minutes so as to not disturb the others. But the relief afterwards from actually letting myself feel for once was amazing.

It's good for you. Even though it doesn't feel like it at the time. It will pass and will give you a renewed feeling of peace/calm/even power, rather than running away from it.

Is there any chance that you have ADHD as you struggle to settle (apologies now if that’s the wrong thing to say), or is there anything bad that happened in your childhood when you were in a relaxed situation, such as being told off when you didn’t go to sleep so it became an issue ?

One coping mechanism might be to have a specific scenario to work through in your mind, to distract yourself. For example, redecorating your house or landscaping your garden. Work through it in tiny detail.

Or equanimous breath practice?

What’s the Diazepam prescribed for?

That seems a strong reaction to getting a haircut. Most of the examples you’ve given are when you’re forced to not be doing much for a bit… to just be. Do you know what upsets you about that? Do you tend to avoid that in general life?

I’d seek help for it… diazepam will be a stand in, but it’s not fixing the problem, and you might not always be able to get hold of it.

Anecdotally, for me, I hated being by myself and being forced to “sit” with myself. I was prescribed anxiety medication but it just disguised the problem. In the end, I immersed myself in it, forced myself to spend more time by myself and work out what I was avoiding and why, and I worked through it all. I haven’t needed anxiety meds or hated that type of thing since, and I’m still comfortable doing it despite now spending very little time alone!

Oh well that's a relief then! Maybe instructor has seen it before.

I really enjoy yoga and find it beneficial for calming me and also notice the physical benefits (increased strength and flexibility etc.). I've a back injury at the moment so can only do Pilates and Yoga really, so it would be a shame if I have to stop yoga. Instructors generally don't like you leaving during it/at the beginning. As with bloody meditation, my next most hated thing, they tell you that it takes practice and it's really important. Not for me it's not!

Yes, I think it is some sort of emotional release. Very deeply held emotions if so as I wasn't really feeling anything in particular, I just randomly started crying.

I have ADHD and struggle to lay still like that.
I hated the end bit of yoga. But then, I hate yoga.

Having to take diazepam for the e hair dresser is extreme though. Is it anxiety?

Just leave before it starts so you don’t disturb others

I found it irritating!!
Love yoga for the stretches, but then want to leave for savanna. I get that's it's beneficial, but I can't be doing with it!!
I'm sure it's fine just to quietly leave.

As a pp said, it's because there's nowhere to run from pent up emotions.

Crying during yoga is more common than you think. If recommend riding it out and it will become easier over time. Definitely invest in some professional therapy too if this is an option for you

I often cry on my yoga mat - but I do a home practice so it doesn’t matter. Nothing is wrong with you 🖤 It’s totally normal.

I find that suppressed emotions come up whilst I’m doing yoga. Child’s pose is a common one for me. It’s the stillness, the intimate alone time. In every day life you can distract yourself from difficult emotions and stress but during yoga (especially the calm, relaxing poses you can’t). That’s the beauty of yoga.

Yoga means ‘union’. Literally it is a body AND mind practice. Lots of people think that yoga is just a form of exercise but it’s so much more than that. It’s a deep soul thing. A kind of therapy.

Do you think you could have suppressed emotions that are trying to come up in these stillness situations?

Not yoga fan. I always fell asleep at the end. Very embarrassing

This happened to me during hypnotherapy. I'm quite relieved to hear that it is a thing and I'm not just a loon.

I have often wondered about ADHD but have never been tested for it, nor has it ever been suggested as a diagnosis. I think that it's a difficult one to get a referral for as an adult. Diazepam is prescribed for anxiety - it's PRN and small doses. Usually just bringing them with me is enough, I don't even have to take them but sometimes I do need to take them.

Thanks for the responses. I might go a little early next week and try to work out the best way for me to make a quick exit.

Do you have anxiety? I have PTSD induced anxiety and find it really hard to do anything that involves sitting still and 'being.' It triggers all my anxiety and overthinking and I can even have a panic attack.

/xpost

It's working as well intended, you obviously have a lot of emotion to release. But if you don't want to do that in a class then yes, skip it.

I go to yoga specifically for traumatised women and the whole point is to connect body and mind. Some women cry a lot, no-one minds in the least.

This sounds so distressing. I know this can sometimes happen where someone has experienced past trauma, and relaxing 'doing nothing' can bring back thoughts, even those they aren't fully aware of.

Is this is you (I know this might well not be the case at all) go to see your GP for trauma work.

for you in any case

I am receiving ongoing therapy. I have a myriad of emotional issues from birth right through to date. I'll speak to my therapist about it if I remember to next week and then have a chat with the instructor next Sunday too. I do think that there is something that it triggers in me but I'm not sure why.

www.theyogaclinic.co.uk/trauma-informed-yoga

It's releasing pent up emotion, so a good thing surely in the long term. I wouldn't give it a second thought. My sister cried during a physio session, same sort of thing.