Cried at yoga this morning. Always stressed during Savasana. Why?

[WineRipened]

I'm posting here for traffic as I am not sure whether there is a dedicated exercise section.

Well as per the title, I cried during Savasana today and I want to know why I find it so much like torture and whether I should persist with it or whether I should ask the instructor if I could leave at the start of it.

Bit of history with it, I have always found it difficult. I tend to fidget, get itchy, scratch, feel anxious, move and wiggle but I endured it for a while. About 2 years ago I would just make an excuse at the start of the class that I had to leave early and that was normally ok. I left quietly and hopefully didn't disturb anyone. I have never thought too much about it, just that it feels deeply uncomfortable and I hate it.

It is not just savasana where I feel like this. Other situations would be having a beauty treatment where I have to lie still with my eyes closed and I'm supposed to be relaxing and enjoying it, having a CT scan for example, having to sit in a hairdressers or having to sit during meditation. These are the only examples that I can think of off the top of my head.

Anyway, new class that I'm going to about 3 weeks. First time, I was only person there so I told instructor that I disliked it. She suggested lying on my side. Fine that week and last week. Today however, I lay on my back to start with (had forgotten about the lying on my side thing) and instructor says 'WineRipened, you can lie on your side'. So, I switched to my side, hugged knees into chest as she suggested and then suddenly I felt the tears coming. I tried to disguise this onslaught of madness but eventually couldn't as I do ugly crying. Big red face and snot. So I sat up, turned my back to class and sat there sobbing great big sobs like a fucking loon. Instructor came over, asked permission, and sat beside me and hugged me and stroked my back. Tears and heaves continued, but I calmed a bit and hopefully other participants didn't notice.

So what the hell is wrong with me?

I'd repost this in a yoga group (FB has a super supportive Yoga with Adriene UK one), you're going to get a lot of responses that don't get it.

Crying is not something to be embarrassed about. It sounds like you've got something bottled up, and savasana is giving you the freedom to let it out. If anyone judges you for that, they shouldn't be there.

Your instructor sounds lovely, responsive but respectful.

Pigeon pose does it for me. They say you store emotion in your hips and for me it's true. I just put my head to the floor and let it out.

It sounds like something that would respond to EMDR therapy.

www.doyou.com/why-do-yogis-sometimes-cry-during-savasana/

@50ShadesOfCatholic

It's working as well intended, you obviously have a lot of emotion to release. But if you don't want to do that in a class then yes, skip it.

I go to yoga specifically for traumatised women and the whole point is to connect body and mind. Some women cry a lot, no-one minds in the least.

Can you share more details about the class please? Or pm me the details if you don't want to post them. I'd like to get into that area of teaching but am struggling to find a good training school in England.

Please try and get a referral for ADHD. DH has undiagnosed ADHD. He realised this year, aged 67, when DS2 was diagnosed. They're exactly the same. DH still doesn't realise what's ADHD, and what's just like NT people.

Totally agree with PPs, it’s an overwhelming wave of emotions that you have nowhere to hide from or distract in the moment. It took me ages to get used to it (plus some yoga therapy, meditation and a lot of work) and I still sometimes struggle. I recognise the feeling or irritation, which is the initial, “acceptable” face of the emotions rising.

It is worth working in I think as savassana can be so, so useful but it will take time and be bumpy, but you won’t be the first and certainly not the last person to cry in class.

How about legs up the wall or a supported seating position as a starting place, perhaps you’ll feel less vulnerable and then work up from there- & don’t beat yourself up about it!

OP just thinking about various aspects of this...

Are you uncomfortable about crying in general (e.g. watching a sad film) even if you are on your own or is it much worse if there are people to see you?

Does it make a difference if you eyes are open or closed?

What happens if you practice on your own every day, just a couple of sun salutations and then savasana, or a YouTube class? (Is it different when it's just you? Is there a possibility that you could desensitize yourself by just having a cry every day and let your body and brain work through it all?)

Is it connected with your menstrual cycle at all?

(I once had to go home from work one day as I couldn't stop crying and I had no idea why, so I do understand about not wanting to cry in public for no obvious reason).

It sounds like something you might have to tackle on several levels.
On a fundamental level, coming to terms with your past and the after effects of that.
In the medium term, ust practically getting this reaction more under control. In the very short term, getting alternative suggestions from the yoga teacher.

Good luck, I suspect you'll overcome this.

There is an understanding out there that activities like yoga and meditation may not suit everybody for the following reasons.

Yoga may in the long term be helpful, but if there is any buried trauma lodged in the body - it is possible that yoga is releasing it before you are ready to deal with it in your head.

You could get hold of the book 'The Body Keeps the Score' for more on this.

Take it slowly. Take a break. Try something gentler.

Have you tried just moving back to a seated position instead of going into savasana? You might feel more in control if you were upright, and you’ll still be achieving the objective of a quiet, reflective position. I don’t think you should ever feel bad about taking a different position than the one suggested, if it’s right for you, and if an instructor tried to make you feel bad or drew attention to it, I’d say they aren’t a good instructor. Yoga isn’t supposed to be a set of tick box exercises that you fail if you don’t do it right.

I suspect that these are the only time when you relax and actually feel all the emotions you've been bottling up.

Your yoga instructor has been ace tbh.

My advice on that would NOT to stop yoga. but on the contrary to keep it up. You might also find some help in counselling/writing etc... but I'd wager that if thse are the only times when you feel like this, you'll do better with some support.

(I can do the same btw. So I have an inkling on it can feel including how people will just stare at you and think you are a lunatic. It's very likely that they won't though!)

@beigebrownblue

There is an understanding out there that activities like yoga and meditation may not suit everybody for the following reasons.

Yoga may in the long term be helpful, but if there is any buried trauma lodged in the body - it is possible that yoga is releasing it before you are ready to deal with it in your head.

You could get hold of the book 'The Body Keeps the Score' for more on this.

Take it slowly. Take a break. Try something gentler.

That's interesting. I've heard that about meditation but not about yoga.

It’s really common to cry during savasana. I have done it a few times! Also had a really strong response once during a sound bath that really took me by surprise. Best advice I can give is to keep going and try and relax into it. By all means try another position but I really wouldn’t skip savasana it really is a vital part of yoga and I wouldn’t think much of any instructor who said yes just skip it. You may also want to try and find a yin yoga class which it sounds like you would benefit feom

At my old yoga class we were told to rest into child pose if we felt uncomfortable - would that be an option?

Another one here who has cried during yoga before. The first time I was really surprised by it but I think it was just a huge emotional release. It’s happened a few times since. I think it’s because for me yoga is more than just exercise. I hate usual exercise, you couldn’t make me run (except for a bus… in an emergency!) but yoga is different. It connects with me mentally & emotionally too. Don’t worry about it, you’re not alone.

@Neverdropyourmooncup.. has it spot on.

Your yoga instructor was wondeful. No one else will be judging you. Your body holds trauma and something about the position must be releasing the trauma or emotions.

Big hugs.

Great advice thanks. I'll ask her about childs pose or sitting up. The trauma team don't feel that I'm strong enough for trauma therapy yet, so I've just ongoing therapy with a psychologist who uses different approaches to fit whatever comes up. I've been in a dramatic state of flux in the past year so I suppose I've needed different things at different times.

You don’t sound weird to me. It has been very over twenty years since I’ve done any yoga so can’t speak about that specifically, but I do do meditation and, while I find it positive on the whole, I have definitely found it can sometimes be counterproductive and/or emotional in a way that is not helpful. I remember on one occasion doing a live guided meditation and being completely unable to stop fidgeting. The more we were asked to consider every part of our bodies, the more uncomfortable I felt - I could imagine every bone and tendon in my hand, arm, etc., moving and creaking, and this felt awful - until it was unbearable. At other times the same exercise feels very good. I also know to avoid meditations that involve counting breaths pretty much all the time as I have OCD and start obsessing about the numbers.

On a more positive note, a good cry in meditation is part of what is so powerful (in a positive way) about it. For me - if it is not positive for you, that is also fine. Point is, feeling strong emotion is very normal in these types of practice. You just have to consider whether it’s ultimately something you find beneficial or not.

I find meditation a mixed bag. When it’s good, it’s great, but sometimes it is better to realise the circumstances aren’t right and stop.

If this is not beneficial for you, then you absolutely don’t need to do it. Whether that’s altogether or on certain occasions. Sounds like you have a wonderful instructor, btw.

As my (just changed) username indicates, I teach yoga.

This is completely normal and something a good teacher will be aware of (it sounds like yours is wonderful).

As someone else said, the body holds trauma. Certain yoga poses and practices release that trauma.

Can you contact your teacher before the next class to discuss it?

I'd suggest sitting in an easy cross-legged posture instead of savasana and keep your eyes open or half-closed if that feels better.

Concentrate on feeling your connection with the mat and surface beneath you, literally and emotionally grounding yourself.

Sending more hugs and best wishes. 💐

I cry in yoga sometimes. Chest openers particularly but it’s no big deal. Would agree with “The Body Keeps The Score” book - it’s your body trying to tell you about something

I never found corpse pose relaxing. I loved yoga because the focus of the movements helped me to be present in the moment, just lying still took me back to the stressful thoughts I wanted to escape.

Honestly, you paid for the class, you can just tell the instructor politely beforehand that you will leave quietly at that point. Honour yourself by not feeling pressured to do something that doesn't work for you.

Is that the bit at the end when you just lie there? My dad died in 2019, not close at all but started going to yoga after and every sodding week I’d put the beanbag on my eyes and lie down and cry, just came from nowhere, not thinking about anything really, beanbag would be soaking! I just assumed I needed a cry I’m considering going back but I’d forgotten about the crying. I also cry at songs in the car, I know I’m very stressed if that happens. Pulp babies I can’t really listen to.

It's very normal to cry during yoga OP. I used to cry excessively sometimes, depending on what I'm going through. Your instructor sounds lovely and as if she is used to it. If you feel safe and secure, and it's a good release for whatever is pentup, perhaps talk to her? If it causes you too much distress, perhaps easier to leave before the end.

Hi OP, I used to be the same having suffered from anxiety for years. Savasana is the hardest pose for many people - it’s definitely more common than you might think. I worked through it by choosing a different position, and by staying in the position only for a short time at first, then gradually lengthening. Good luck!

Why not do the yoga classes online, at home?

That way it won’t matter if you cry as you won’t feel self conscious, other people won’t be irritated by you disrupting the class or taking up the teacher’s attention. Someone crying puts the teacher in a difficult position because she has to comfort you yet also teach the session.

Maybe classes are too much just now and you need some 1:1 therapy or counselling?

Savasana is the hardest pose! And this is why.

You've had some great ideas here OP and no instructor will mind if you take a different position. Mine always invites people to get up and grab another layer before Savasana which would give you a natural exit point too.

I agree with pps saying to practice at home, but please don't give up your yoga!