Why can't I lose weight?! Is it my age? 😭

[HurryUpAndWait23]

Im 39.

I've never been overweight but I was always comfortable at 9st12 and when I started to push 10+ stone (around Christmas or too many summer BBQ's and wine) I'd do 5:2 or similar and the weight would come off easily, always around 2lb a week.

Now, I'm 11stone and 24.5 on the BMI and I've been trying to lose weight for months.
I've tried WW (worked very well in the past) 5:2 which was always great, and I can get down to 10st10 if I'm lucky and it goes back up again.

What the fuck is going on?! I've even stopped drinking (was drinking wine most nights, now drinking once a week and have done for about 2 months), I thought the weight would fall off then - but no!

I feel fit and well so I don't think it's a thyroid issue or anything medical.

I'm 39 soon - is it my bloody age?!

How fucking depressing if it is?!

[quote Bryonyshcmyony]@mistermagpie did you start with Caroline Girvan? I'm keen to do this[/quote]
Yes I just jumped into the middle of one of her programs on YouTube. It's really straightforward, she's not annoying (she doesn't really speak!) and her workouts are easy to follow. Also she looks incredible which is quite motivating!!

Oh and to loose 1lb you have to have around 3500 kcal under your maintenance goal. Use tdee calculated (google it) to see what yours is.

I have two friends who are overweight and I look at what they eat and couldn't work out why. They eat healthy food control portions and do all that but still can't lose weight and are very upset about it.

The only thing I can think of is they don't exercise. They go out and about they are fairly active women but they don't take time out to specifically exercise. Secondly both drink alcohol all weekend and most nights during the holidays.
Both are teachers too and I should imagine being exhausted from their stressful jobs is also a contributing factor.

Try keto for a few months

No answers OP but I'm in the exact same position. It's properly shit.

Hi @HurryUpAndWait23 you have my absolute sympathy. Losing weight as we age is incrementally harder with each passing year. However with due diligence and a sense of what suits our own body composition we can lose!

I have to look at it as more of a life style change rather than a diet. Diets don’t work. We have to find a way of eating/living that’s enjoyable and sustainable for the long haul. I also have to be in the right headspace. Low mood, anxiety, poor sleep etc are the saboteurs. I manage these on a daily basis. There are no quick fixes.

I did the Fast800 programme last year. I lost! The recipes are based around the Mediterranean diet and are appetising and very well balanced. We need some complex carbs for the fibre as our guts love them.

I am also disabled but I can manage walking vids. They helped!

I also got medicated for under active thyroid. That made a difference too.

You can do this, this time next month you’ll be pleased you made the change.

When I think about it a big difference for me is simple moving about.

Not exercise, but through school, uni, and early days at work I was constantly moving. Walking between classes, walking to the bus stop, cycling where I could, walking to uni. Up and down stairs to different classrooms, walking to lunch. Then I’d do an exercise class in the evening. That was enough to pretty much control my weight.

Even in the early days of work I’d still be up and down, going to talk to a colleague, to a different dept to ask a question, to the library to pick up some research material, across the hall to get a book, up to the printer, walk to the post office.

Now we are so computerised I can sit for 8 hours and not move- colleagues on skype, library materials all online, email rather than post. Early days with kids I still had the school run, but now they can get themselves there. I can’t cycle as I usually need the car with me to take them to after school activities etc.

Even lockdown- when I’m in the office just walking from the car park, to the toilet, up a few flights of stairs to a meeting, to the canteen for lunch racks up about 5000 steps. At home I’m lucky to do 1000.

You're not really overweight so maybe a toning and sculpture to reshape tone your body.

I could have written your post op. I'm 41 & I've always been a petite size 8/10 - 9- 9.5 stone ish. Never had to watch what I eat really, must have had fast metabolism as I've always loved food & although I've always eaten relatively healthy I've always indulged in big portions & my sweet tooth as & when I wanted.

I noticed as soon as I hit 40 things started going on a downward spiral, gained 2.5 stone really fast, shot up to size 14 & I'm struggling to loose it. I've been cutting down portion size hugely & eating much cleaner more consistently. Although that's helped shift a stone of the weight I know it's not going to shift the remaining 1.5 stone I want to lose.

Im now walking 7 hours a week & do weights / gym x 3 times a week & I'm finally seeing small improvements on a regular basis.

I did go through a gym phase back in my mid 30's & I remember getting far too skinny far too quick ...it seems that my body isn't reacting the same this time round & it's taking a lot longer to shift & actually see the changes.

I guess I'm just accepting that it is to do with age now.

I'm having to graft really hard this time round but challenge accepted ✅ and I'm starting to feel better about myself.

P.S although I know that a size 14 isn't huge, it is for me being only 5'1 & the extra weight based all round my mid section.

You haven’t mentioned whether you exercise or not but exercise and diet need to be combined for a healthy lifestyle! IMO it’s also better to actually change your attitude towards food rather than have times of ‘dieting’ and ‘not dieting.’ Aka the sort of person that always takes the stairs not the lift - it’s something they just always do not something they’re doing to try and lose weight. Cutting things out makes you feel deprived so you just want it more. Another example would be not drinking on weeknights or something like that - rather than cutting it out altogether when you want to lose weight and then having no restrictions on it at all when you’re not. That’s what I try to do, have healthy habits rather than diet and not diet. I also try and minimise take aways so they’re a treat to look forward to, and don’t really drink fizzy drinks unless I really fancy one or I’m out and not drinking alcohol. Do you remember that programme secret eaters? They always thought they hardly ate anything but it was always things like takeaway and fizzy drinks and alcohol that was adding loads of calories in.

It's definitely harder as you get older.

I'm 44 and have lost a stone in the last year through IF, nothing but green tea or water before lunchtime. Lunch consists of a big portion of roasted veg or salad with seeds and a few cubes of feta or falafel, hummous etc.

Dinner is normal family food but a smallish portion with extra veg. I'm a size 10 now and to maintain I can get away with some snacks and alcohol, but to lose more I need to cut those out too.

I exercise 4/5 days a week, a mix of HIIT, weights, 5k runs, riding and family walks etc.

People tell me I'm 'lucky' to be slim but it feels like quite hard work tbh! I enjoy the exercise as I have a sedentary job and I'm used to no breakfast now, but for me, being slim isn't a happy coincidence!

@Reallyreallyborednow

When I think about it a big difference for me is simple moving about.

Not exercise, but through school, uni, and early days at work I was constantly moving. Walking between classes, walking to the bus stop, cycling where I could, walking to uni. Up and down stairs to different classrooms, walking to lunch. Then I’d do an exercise class in the evening. That was enough to pretty much control my weight.

Even in the early days of work I’d still be up and down, going to talk to a colleague, to a different dept to ask a question, to the library to pick up some research material, across the hall to get a book, up to the printer, walk to the post office.

Now we are so computerised I can sit for 8 hours and not move- colleagues on skype, library materials all online, email rather than post. Early days with kids I still had the school run, but now they can get themselves there. I can’t cycle as I usually need the car with me to take them to after school activities etc.

Even lockdown- when I’m in the office just walking from the car park, to the toilet, up a few flights of stairs to a meeting, to the canteen for lunch racks up about 5000 steps. At home I’m lucky to do 1000.

Agree fully. This is huge for me. It was shocking how my moment reduced in lockdown.

When the kids went back to school, even though I was still wfh, there was a big increase in activity for me.

I work on a spread out university campus. I had never realised how much steps I racked up running to different lecture theatres & meetings across campus.

@Peaplant20

You haven’t mentioned whether you exercise or not but exercise and diet need to be combined for a healthy lifestyle! IMO it’s also better to actually change your attitude towards food rather than have times of ‘dieting’ and ‘not dieting.’ Aka the sort of person that always takes the stairs not the lift - it’s something they just always do not something they’re doing to try and lose weight. Cutting things out makes you feel deprived so you just want it more. Another example would be not drinking on weeknights or something like that - rather than cutting it out altogether when you want to lose weight and then having no restrictions on it at all when you’re not. That’s what I try to do, have healthy habits rather than diet and not diet. I also try and minimise take aways so they’re a treat to look forward to, and don’t really drink fizzy drinks unless I really fancy one or I’m out and not drinking alcohol. Do you remember that programme secret eaters? They always thought they hardly ate anything but it was always things like takeaway and fizzy drinks and alcohol that was adding loads of calories in.

OP has mentioned countless times she has a sedentary job and HATES exercise.

OP has mentioned countless times she has a sedentary job and HATES exercise.
Then the yoyo dieting will continue and become more difficult to control year on year.
Whether we like exercise or not its important to keep the body safe from all sorts of bone disorders, heart disease, lung function.
It isn't possible to maintain a healthy weight in your 40's without physical exercise even an evening walk, unless she starved forevermore causing health issues and being miserable.
Your choice OP however a combination of exercise and healthy eating including treats would help you much more maintain a good weight.

Then the yoyo dieting will continue and become more difficult to control year on year.

This is a good point.
I've always wondered if I could be considered a ' yo-yo' dieter.
I've never been overweight, and I generally diet (as in, eat healthily) and it's really only lock down that's got me to where I am now.
Before that it was just summer time and Christmas I might gain a few pounds then lose it again.

Would that be considered a yo-you dieter or just someone keeping things in check?

It's the difference of about half a stone at most.
(Apart from now, and I need to lose a stone, but this is the first time in my life ive had this issue).

Would that be considered a yo-you dieter or just someone keeping things in check?
Yes definitely and it will mess up your metabolism making it harder.
Better to maintain than yo.yo. get a step counter take up walking listening to a podcasts and enjoy your food.
Everything is fine in moderation.

I’d say that was someone keeping things In check op, putting a few pounds on twice a year isn’t in my view yo yo dieting, it’s nigh on impossible to maintain exactly all your life.

@HurryUpAndWait23

Then the yoyo dieting will continue and become more difficult to control year on year.

This is a good point.
I've always wondered if I could be considered a ' yo-yo' dieter.
I've never been overweight, and I generally diet (as in, eat healthily) and it's really only lock down that's got me to where I am now.
Before that it was just summer time and Christmas I might gain a few pounds then lose it again.

Would that be considered a yo-you dieter or just someone keeping things in check?

It's the difference of about half a stone at most.
(Apart from now, and I need to lose a stone, but this is the first time in my life ive had this issue).

Well you don't actually have much to lose! Ditch the crisps and do some exercise and you could have lost it by xmas

@HurryUpAndWait23

Then the yoyo dieting will continue and become more difficult to control year on year.

This is a good point.
I've always wondered if I could be considered a ' yo-yo' dieter.
I've never been overweight, and I generally diet (as in, eat healthily) and it's really only lock down that's got me to where I am now.
Before that it was just summer time and Christmas I might gain a few pounds then lose it again.

Would that be considered a yo-you dieter or just someone keeping things in check?

It's the difference of about half a stone at most.
(Apart from now, and I need to lose a stone, but this is the first time in my life ive had this issue).

In the time you're wasting debating with yourself about whether alcohol reduced your water retention, browsing for diets online, and thinking about whether your are or aren't the definition of a yo-yo dieter you could have done 20 mins of strength training.

I see you. You're very like me! Honestly though, if you can sort out your back troubles with professional help, and the incontinence issue you mentioned, make some small changes to your diet by learning more about nutrition and lifting some cans of beans (as you described it) you can turn this around relatively easily. You'll be staving off all kinds of future health problems too.

@HurryUpAndWait23

Then the yoyo dieting will continue and become more difficult to control year on year.

This is a good point.
I've always wondered if I could be considered a ' yo-yo' dieter.
I've never been overweight, and I generally diet (as in, eat healthily) and it's really only lock down that's got me to where I am now.
Before that it was just summer time and Christmas I might gain a few pounds then lose it again.

Would that be considered a yo-you dieter or just someone keeping things in check?

It's the difference of about half a stone at most.
(Apart from now, and I need to lose a stone, but this is the first time in my life ive had this issue).

I think a key issue here is that you consider yourself to be on a lifelong diet. It’s far better to have healthy habits and a balanced diet which includes treats rather than completely cutting things out as it will only leave you feeling deprived and like you want if more when you come to a period of not being on the diet.

I struggled with weight for years but managed to hover around the 9 and a half stone mark.
Post menopause,a sudden 2 stone gain which shows on a short person.
Last lockdown, I kept busy and more or less cut out sugar.I lost half a stone,my shape changed.
I haven't been able to maintain this change,now heavier,up a size,breasts huge.
No answers.

I am tue same age and seem to have tue same issue despite exercising daily and eating healthy food. My tummy used to be flat but now I have a mum tum that's won't budge. This is the first year I haven't worn a bikini, I hate looking in the mirror 😢, I feel like nothing is working.

Mum tum? I think that's basic Biology isnt it?

Not sure what exactly "Mum tum" is, but if someone has always had a firm abdomen with little fat and suddenly has one which is protruding without changing any habits at the age of 38-39, it is not basic biology. If there have been no significant changes to the rest of the body, this needs to be checked out by a doctor.

I hear you op...i have lost a few kg the past fortnight though....if, salad with everything...cut bk on booze. I did drink at the weekend though.
On holiday nxt week though...hope i dont gain!

A protruding stomach and a mum tum are not the same thing surely?
Theres a line between dissatisfaction about weight gain and normal female changes.