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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Why can't I lose weight?! Is it my age? 😭

228 replies

HurryUpAndWait23 · 28/07/2021 17:30

Im 39.

I've never been overweight but I was always comfortable at 9st12 and when I started to push 10+ stone (around Christmas or too many summer BBQ's and wine) I'd do 5:2 or similar and the weight would come off easily, always around 2lb a week.

Now, I'm 11stone and 24.5 on the BMI and I've been trying to lose weight for months.
I've tried WW (worked very well in the past) 5:2 which was always great, and I can get down to 10st10 if I'm lucky and it goes back up again.

What the fuck is going on?! I've even stopped drinking (was drinking wine most nights, now drinking once a week and have done for about 2 months), I thought the weight would fall off then - but no!

I feel fit and well so I don't think it's a thyroid issue or anything medical.

I'm 39 soon - is it my bloody age?!

How fucking depressing if it is?!

OP posts:
senoritarita · 28/07/2021 20:37

I'm the same. I joined ww again on 1 June and did ok. Then went away for week and haven't dared weigh

In the past, I used to be able to do ww on a week day and then totally forget it at weekends and still lose. Not any more

Exercising makes me hungry and want to eat more

Somebody staple my mouth shut

EarringsandLipstick · 28/07/2021 20:38

I don't like to think of anyone endlessly on diets. It's just miserable.

Agree with this too.

I'd also add, if possible, going to exercise classes / using a trainer infinitely better than strength training alone. I see so many people doing strength-based training badly.

I appreciate this isn't an option fly everyone.

Bryonyshcmyony · 28/07/2021 20:38

I lifted a kettle bell once and pissed my pants on each swing

Sort this out and then exercise.

You are only 39 and you sound like a 79 year old. I mean my friend is 80 and feels fit and well but she can't do any exercise either.

Did you say you have a bad back? Sort that out. Do pilates.

Then start being sensible about your weight instead of doing stupid calorie restrictive cabbage soup diets!

HurryUpAndWait23 · 28/07/2021 20:41

I don't like to think of anyone endlessly on diets. It's just miserable.

I'm not miserable on a diet, I absolutely loved fruit and veg, fish and meat. I couldn't care less for carbs but do love too much fruit and crisps.

I diet easily.

Or at least - I did.
It stopped working so I starting starving (5:2) and even that's not working so im really getting annoyed.

I basically need to accept a future of being overweight and all the health issues that come with it or lift a can of beans regularly.

OP posts:
KarlUrbansWife · 28/07/2021 20:41

Do you WFH? I still am and will be for the foreseeable now. It's made a massive difference to my metabolism as I literally don't move all day, whereas pre-covid I would regularly move around to the to difference meeting rooms etc

FrauleinSchweiger · 28/07/2021 20:42

Just to add my twopenneth - I am unable to exercise due to chronic illness and resulting disability. I take on board what pps have said about protecting bone health through weight training etc and I will doubtless have a terrible old age if I live that long, because some days I can barely lift the kettle, let alone a kettle bell. However this something that I cannot change.

Anyway, I manage my weight by eating very little. It may sound depressing but it works. I need far less than active people so if you saw my portion sizes you would probably laugh - my DC certainly do - they think I eat "old lady" sized portions.

I am actually fine with it. I still have occasional bits of cake or chocolate but I don't drink alcohol due to medication so that probably helps too. My disability is improved by being a healthy weight which I suppose gives me extra motivation.

Just wanted to say that whilst my lifestyle is in no way aspirational if you can't exercise, like me, it doesn't automatically mean that you have to be overweight (just permanently hungry Grin). For me it's worth it but everyone has to find their own balance and I guess you have to find yours.

Dashel · 28/07/2021 20:45

Get yourself a Fitbit and see the difference in calories burned in a day when you do 5000, 10000 and 15000 steps.

I burn 2300 calories on 15000, 2000 on 10000 and 1820 on 5000. Yes it’s not 100% exact but it gives you a good idea.

This is walking steps, not running or anything like that. But there are so many different sorts of exercise that you need to find something you will want to do. Get medical help and try different things. I have a les mills subscription and do spinning, pump and body balance on that, but also free weights and yoga and 3 thirty minute walks to get my steps to 15000. There are so many workouts free online.

The more muscle you have the more calories you burn doing nothing and weights are also great for bone density.

I would personally not go too low on my calories 7 days a week as you will end up binging over the weekend as you are starving and have been so good in the week thar you deserve a little treat.

HurryUpAndWait23 · 28/07/2021 20:46

@KarlUrbansWife

Do you WFH? I still am and will be for the foreseeable now. It's made a massive difference to my metabolism as I literally don't move all day, whereas pre-covid I would regularly move around to the to difference meeting rooms etc
Yeah I am. And I'm now a community nurse, who drives and drives and drives allllll day long. Our area is effing huge now. I drive on average 3 hours a day. Then sit in people's homes and talk, assess, sort. Then go into an office and write up notes.

But I love the laziness of it.

I know, I know - I need to move.

OP posts:
GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 28/07/2021 20:46

From reading this I just think “fuck it I’ll be fat”

HelplessProcrastinator · 28/07/2021 20:47

I do loads of exercise and makes no difference to my weight whatsoever. Currently calorie counting. It’s taken 11 weeks to get from 14 to 13 stone on 1,400 a day (average so some days much less if I’ve been out for a meal). Bloody depressing.

EarringsandLipstick · 28/07/2021 20:52

OP your posts are funny, I really like your sense of humour!

Other posters have given good advice.

I agree - sorting pelvic floor / bladder a must. You won't in fairness be able for any strength based work otherwise.

I think also that you would need something structured - I see a PP suggested a 6 week boot camp / diet / PT session. The gym I use (which is a very basic gym linked to my kids' sport but offers Spin, HIIT, boot camp which are super and what I do) offers this.

It's v structured and will look holistically at your diet / fitness.

I get you are busy with 3 DC. I'm the same. Slightly older than you. I'm a single parent, v little support, work full time, and exercise 5 - 6 times a week. The exercise doesn't take up much time itself - 45 min sessions but the organising to do it. I'm not trying to say I'm great but without exercise I'm a mess.

I don't put on much weight but I'm small & even a few pounds makes my clothes tight & I feel crap. I need it mentally too as it's just about the only thing I do for myself.

But I do what I need to do - I currently do 6 am classes 3 - 4 times a week, so up at 530. The kids are still in bed, they know I've gone but are ok to be left (youngest 10, oldest 14).

Over lockdown my overall activity levels slowed - the running around in work, school runs & so on and that had a big impact too.

It's really true that while intense exercise is important, overall movement is very significant in managing our weight. I'm so aware of how much better I feel since everything has opened up again. Although I'm still wfh I go into work a couple of days a week as I move more than at home.

IRL I don't say much about this. As it would annoy everyone! I have quite a few friends who exercise like this. But my sister does no exercise tho she has an active job that keeps her on her feet. I wish she would because long-term without exercise we really create a problematic middle and old age. It's really about 'use it or lose it' after 40.

I think your love of walking is great and would work well accompanied by strength / resistance training.

AlbertBridge · 28/07/2021 20:52

I use this one. There are other plans?! Tell me more!

Yes! WW has 3 plans, blue, green and purple. You can tell which one you're on by the number of points and the colour of the ring around your points. You're on blue.

Blue is basically low fat, low carb. All lean white meat, fish, veg and fruit are 0sp. You get 23sp a day to spend on everything else.

There's a green plan. Everything has points on green (except fruit snd most veg). You get 30 points a day.

And there's purple. Almost everything unprocessed is 0sp on purple, as well as wholemeal pasta snd potatoes. You only get 18 or 19sp a day on that one.

I mainly did the Green plan, as I liked having freedom to spend points on crisps. 😂

To change plans, click your avatar in the top right of the app. It'll turn into a cog. Click that again, then scroll down to Food Settings, then click "Blue Plan" to choose a different one.

EarringsandLipstick · 28/07/2021 20:53

@GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing

From reading this I just think “fuck it I’ll be fat”
😂😂😂
HurryUpAndWait23 · 28/07/2021 20:53

@GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing

From reading this I just think “fuck it I’ll be fat”
Well, aren't your a supportive cunt peach? 🥰
OP posts:
HurryUpAndWait23 · 28/07/2021 20:54

Oh hang on. Maybe I misunderstood that 🤞🏻

OP posts:
EarringsandLipstick · 28/07/2021 20:55

@HurryUpAndWait23

You are brilliant

Well, aren't your a supportive cunt peach?

NoiceDifferentUnusual · 28/07/2021 20:55

Watching this thread with interest. I put on 2.5 stone while taking sertraline after my mum died. I was drinking all the wine and eating all the cake - basically eating my emotions. After 3 years off sertraline and cutting down drastically I’m the same weight. I mean, not even half a stone off. Confused. No wonder so many of us give up.

EarringsandLipstick · 28/07/2021 20:55

@HurryUpAndWait23

Oh hang on. Maybe I misunderstood that 🤞🏻
Even funnier!!!

(I think you did misunderstand but your relies on their own are cracking me up!)

Bryonyshcmyony · 28/07/2021 20:56

@HurryUpAndWait23

Oh hang on. Maybe I misunderstood that 🤞🏻
Yeah I think you did.

I don't think you'll end up doing anything OP.

EarringsandLipstick · 28/07/2021 20:57

@FrauleinSchweiger

That must be so tough. Fair play to you dealing with chronic ill health & still managing your diet like that. (I don't mean that to be in any way patronising).

AlbertBridge · 28/07/2021 20:58

I can also see from your screenshot that you're not tracking anything, and haven't all week. 😆 Have you given up on it?

I LOVED it. Love the scanner and the tracking. Gave me a feeling of control.

I'm worried you didn't give it long enough and got a bit choppy-changey? Most dieters are all or nothing perfectionists, and tend to lose all faith in a diet the minute they hit the first hurdle. WW really really helped cure me of that. I'm well chilled now, and believe in baby steps.

It looks like you're still paying for WW as the app is still working. So id switch to Green, go back to tracking, eat your fruit, and your crisps, and trust the process. As long as you weigh everything (as everything weighs 2000000x more than you think it will, if it's delicious) the weight WILL come off.

Xxx

HurryUpAndWait23 · 28/07/2021 21:01

@AlbertBridge

I use this one. There are other plans?! Tell me more!

Yes! WW has 3 plans, blue, green and purple. You can tell which one you're on by the number of points and the colour of the ring around your points. You're on blue.

Blue is basically low fat, low carb. All lean white meat, fish, veg and fruit are 0sp. You get 23sp a day to spend on everything else.

There's a green plan. Everything has points on green (except fruit snd most veg). You get 30 points a day.

And there's purple. Almost everything unprocessed is 0sp on purple, as well as wholemeal pasta snd potatoes. You only get 18 or 19sp a day on that one.

I mainly did the Green plan, as I liked having freedom to spend points on crisps. 😂

To change plans, click your avatar in the top right of the app. It'll turn into a cog. Click that again, then scroll down to Food Settings, then click "Blue Plan" to choose a different one.

Oh wow!! Is one more successful than the others?

When I joined WW it didn't give me an option of a plan, it just happened automatically.

OP posts:
AlbertBridge · 28/07/2021 21:07

Is one more successful than the others?

No. To be honest they all even out really.

When I joined WW it didn't give me an option of a plan, it just happened automatically.

There's usually a quiz you do that selects your plan. But blue is the main one. The other colours only got added about 2 years ago.

FrauleinSchweiger · 28/07/2021 21:12

@EarringsandLipstick - thanks and no not patronising at all.

I've come to terms with what I have to do for me. I don't pretend to reccomend it for everyone but just wanted to give a little hope to those who for whatever reason exercise like they should. Also no judgement to those who can't exercise and would rather be overweight and not be hungry!!

As I said, I think we have to find what works for us as in what we are able to do and what we are willing to do. Hopefully OP can find her compromise somewhere.

I am also cognisant of the fact that should I make old (but crumbly) bones I might have a F* it moment and decide to end my days eating chips and doughnuts. I'm also planning to take up smoking on my 80th birthday Grin

erinperin · 28/07/2021 21:15

The only thing that matters when it comes to weight loss is calories in vs calories out. Eat more calories than you need and you will gain weight, eat less than you need and you will lose weight. That really is it. Unfortunately it doesn't always APPEAR to be as easy, but honestly it is. Obviously nutrition is a different matter.

You could lose weight doing low carb as long as you're in a calorie deficit. You can lose weight doing intermittent fasting ad long as you're in a calorie deficit. You can lose weight eating nothing but big macs as long as you're in a calorie deficit.

There is so much bs when it comes to weight loss, much of which comes from so-called 'experts' trying to sell diet plans or some other crap you don't need. If what they did actually worked people would lose weight, keep it off and their source of income would disappear.

I've been losing weight for years. When I first started I was overly restrictive and limited myself to 1200 kcal a day. I'm 5"2 and all the tdee calculators told me I could only lose weight on that amount because I'm small. I was practically starving myself and this would lead me to binge frequently. If I managed to stick to the 1200kcal I'd lose 5-6lbs a week which is far too much.

Age does slow your metabolism but it'd really not as significant as you would think. There are no medications that cause you to gain weight (fat). Some medications can increase your appetite, others can cause you to retain water, others can make you feel lethargic causing you to move less and therefore burn less calories.

Low carb isn't a magic weight loss remedy, water is involved in the metabolism and storage of carbs so if you stop eating them you'll see the scales go down a huge amount really fast, but it's just water, not fat unfortunately and you'll gain it all back as soon as you start eating carbs again.

Many healthy foods can be quite high calorie, such as nuts, brown bread, pasta, rice etc. Salads can be astronomical in terms of calories if you're adding dressings, croutons etc so some people are genuinely surprised to find out how many calories they're consuming as they're eating healthy foods

It takes time to lose weight and many people are too impatient and give up before they see results. Weight and food is a very emotional topic for people so they look for a quick fix and get frustrated when things don't happen quickly enough for them. You really need at least 4-6 weeks to see any real progress, especially if you're a woman. Fat loss is slow and women tend to retain water around ovulation and their period. So if you've stuck to your calorie goal, you weigh yourself week 1 and you've lost 1lb, great! In week 2 you're ovulating and you're up 3lb you start thinking it's not working and you've actually gained weight but it's just water. Same just before your period, so you it's easy to see why someone might think that. However next time you weigh yourself the excess water weight is gone, you're actually down 2lb (of Fat) overall buy its taken 4 weeks to be able to actually see that on the scale because of all the fluctuations throughout the month.

I'm at a healthy weight now but I still feel a bit flabby. I have some wiggle room and am continuing to lose weight slowly. Last week I ate over 2000 calories most days, over 3000 calories one day and I lost 2lb.ive figured out from my own data that I need as 2700-2900 kcal a day to maintain my weight, far more than any tdee calculator tells me. I stick to this and the numbers always work out. If I eat a high carb or high salt or sodium meal I'll retain water for a few days and I know that(for some people it can be a week) and don't panic. I don't genuinely retain water at any point during my cycle, I'm not sure if I'm lucky or if it's because I'm on the pill so I don't have such huge hormonal fluctuations.

I'm sorry for the book ivet just written but this is a subject I've looked into A LOT, and it really surprises me that people don't realise how simple it can be, and that you really don't have to be miserable while you're doing it.