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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Why can't I lose weight?! Is it my age? 😭

228 replies

HurryUpAndWait23 · 28/07/2021 17:30

Im 39.

I've never been overweight but I was always comfortable at 9st12 and when I started to push 10+ stone (around Christmas or too many summer BBQ's and wine) I'd do 5:2 or similar and the weight would come off easily, always around 2lb a week.

Now, I'm 11stone and 24.5 on the BMI and I've been trying to lose weight for months.
I've tried WW (worked very well in the past) 5:2 which was always great, and I can get down to 10st10 if I'm lucky and it goes back up again.

What the fuck is going on?! I've even stopped drinking (was drinking wine most nights, now drinking once a week and have done for about 2 months), I thought the weight would fall off then - but no!

I feel fit and well so I don't think it's a thyroid issue or anything medical.

I'm 39 soon - is it my bloody age?!

How fucking depressing if it is?!

OP posts:
CornishPastyDownUnder · 29/07/2021 01:25

Im not far off 50&ive lost a steady2-3lb a week over the last 8 weeks by cutting down to50g net carbs&incline walking
on treadmill&weight training for an 1.5hrs per day.you can totally lose weight-just believe in yourself&push hard..i also use a massage gun on my bad cellulite areas(outer hip&under bum area)when im relaxing in front of tv at night..it is really making a difference on appearance too.

Fairfeather · 29/07/2021 06:43

Metabolism slows with age, you need less calories than you previously did to even maintain

While this is true, the difference in calories between BMR at age 20 and age 40 is only about 50-60kcals, and if you've put weight on then you'll be burning more kcals, so you'll actually be burning more at rest!

The difference can be easily narrowed with a little muscle gain.

I've never done 'diets', I eat lots of veg, cook from scratch, I do running and weight training and can enjoy a few gins and treats (homemade) without putting weight on - I'm around 8 stone.

People saying they only eat 1000kcal a day for months and don't lose weight - they're either in a coma all day or not accurately logging calories!

LaurieFairyCake · 29/07/2021 06:49

I lose one pound a MONTH eating between 800- 1000 calories a day (definitely, I've had surgery and can't eat more than that - yesterday I ate a sandwich and a protein bar)

Reason: short, sedentary (only do about 4 hours activity a week)

Yes, I'm 50 - it's DEFINITELY your age

My best mate has always been slim and fit - a size 8-10 for 40 years - in order to maintain that at 58 she eats 1800 calories a day and works out for 70 minutes EVERY day

Dfdsdfds · 29/07/2021 07:13

My fitness pal (free version), walking 10 000 steps a day and doing 2 x 1 hour workouts a week shaved off a stone for me.

Sadly I’ve a bit more to lose

Bryonyshcmyony · 29/07/2021 07:41

This thread is making me even more determined to carry on with the BIWI low carb bootcamp! I've nearly lost a stone in two months and I've felt pissed off with it about twice, otherwise I barely think about it and deffo not feeling deprived.

Calorie counting sounds awful.
Why We Eat (Too Much): The New Science of Appetite www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B07XLFX52N/ref=cm_sw_r_apan_glt_VP9WJXH4FR8KNZFD2NP9?tag=mumsnetforu03-21 Why We Eat Too Much - really interesting book]]
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Bryonyshcmyony · 29/07/2021 07:47

And I walk the dogs every day and muck out three horses apart from that no formal exercise for ages. I've just signed up to do a triathlon because I must be mad next year so starting back at swimming lessons next week. I'm 55.

HurryUpAndWait23 · 29/07/2021 08:16

I think I've got to the bottom of it - partly.

As mentioned above, I know ive been suffering with some kind of water retention because my fingers have been swelling up and I wake up with pins and needles in my hands.

Last night I drank wine for the first time in absolutely ages.

Yesterday morning I was 11stone.

This morning, nice and dehydrated 🙄 I'm 10st8

So I think I need to continue the 5:2 and figure out how to combat the water retention without using alcohol.

OP posts:
Bryonyshcmyony · 29/07/2021 08:28

Alcohol doesn't combat water retention.

You do sound a bit clueless about nutrition considering you are a nurse!

HurryUpAndWait23 · 29/07/2021 08:32

@Bryonyshcmyony

Alcohol doesn't combat water retention.

You do sound a bit clueless about nutrition considering you are a nurse!

What?

You're telling me that alcohol doesn't dehydrate you?

What?

OP posts:
Bryonyshcmyony · 29/07/2021 08:37

"After a night out drinking, you may also notice bloating in your face, which is often accompanied by redness. This happens because alcohol dehydrates the body. When the body is dehydrated, skin and vital organs try to hold onto as much water as possible, leading to puffiness in the face and elsewhere"

Bryonyshcmyony · 29/07/2021 08:38

So yes, it does dehydrate you, but water retention is a side effect of dehydration.

You need to drink loads more water.

HurryUpAndWait23 · 29/07/2021 08:38

@Bryonyshcmyony

"After a night out drinking, you may also notice bloating in your face, which is often accompanied by redness. This happens because alcohol dehydrates the body. When the body is dehydrated, skin and vital organs try to hold onto as much water as possible, leading to puffiness in the face and elsewhere"
Well, I don't have a puffy face and the scales are saying I've lost soooooo 🤷🏼‍♀️
OP posts:
Bryonyshcmyony · 29/07/2021 08:39

OK, that's probably due to your diet working. Maybe for some reason you've lost lots of water. The alcohol will not have helped.

WobblingMoon · 29/07/2021 08:56

There's a really good book called "Nutrition for Dummies" that I recommend (I realise the title sounds condescending, but it's a fantastic book. I didn't have a clue about nutrition until my 40s).

Your latest comments on booze and water retention, plus some of your other comments - well, @Bryonyshcmyony is right. You're doing that thing where you work out all kinds of "theories" but you'd be better just accepting that what you think you know isn't working and educating yourself on nutrition.

What I've found is that by making nutrition my focus (rather than dieting/thinness) it has changed everything. If you focus on nutrition you are generally ADDING to your diet rather than restricting/taking away (so adding protein sources, adding good fats, drinking more water). I've found that other foods get gradually pushed out as I'm no longer hungry and don't have mad sugary/carb cravings any more. It's reached a point where I no longer want crisps AT ALL (I used to eat six packs of Monster Munch). IMO longer-term this is the only thing for me that is sustainable.

I'm a person who will give way to cravings eventually, always. So I had to get to a point where my diet means that I don't get those cravings. Protein/good fats has done that for me. As I said before I still have plenty of carbs, but as part of meals with other things. That works for me. We're all different and you have to find what works. In that respect it IS more complicated than calories in - calories out in my opinion. Because when I try to control the calories in with lots of sugary carbs I can't do it longer-term. Hope that makes sense!

Bryonyshcmyony · 29/07/2021 08:58

@WobblingMoon

There's a really good book called "Nutrition for Dummies" that I recommend (I realise the title sounds condescending, but it's a fantastic book. I didn't have a clue about nutrition until my 40s).

Your latest comments on booze and water retention, plus some of your other comments - well, @Bryonyshcmyony is right. You're doing that thing where you work out all kinds of "theories" but you'd be better just accepting that what you think you know isn't working and educating yourself on nutrition.

What I've found is that by making nutrition my focus (rather than dieting/thinness) it has changed everything. If you focus on nutrition you are generally ADDING to your diet rather than restricting/taking away (so adding protein sources, adding good fats, drinking more water). I've found that other foods get gradually pushed out as I'm no longer hungry and don't have mad sugary/carb cravings any more. It's reached a point where I no longer want crisps AT ALL (I used to eat six packs of Monster Munch). IMO longer-term this is the only thing for me that is sustainable.

I'm a person who will give way to cravings eventually, always. So I had to get to a point where my diet means that I don't get those cravings. Protein/good fats has done that for me. As I said before I still have plenty of carbs, but as part of meals with other things. That works for me. We're all different and you have to find what works. In that respect it IS more complicated than calories in - calories out in my opinion. Because when I try to control the calories in with lots of sugary carbs I can't do it longer-term. Hope that makes sense!

I second this and I am the same. I used to eat a family sized pack of crisps and crave toast constantly. Now crisps don't cross my mind and the occasional piece of low carb bread toast is fine.
DaniellaDavis · 29/07/2021 09:00

Weigh yourself once a week and in the morning, that's how you can keep consistancey.

Mominatrix · 29/07/2021 09:02

I won't weigh in (sorry) on the diet front as I think that most diets are self defeating and based on incorrect scientific knowledge. I have managed to get to 50 never counting calories, dieting, or restricting my intake and remain a size 6 being 5'2" ( could not tell you my weight as I never weigh myself).

I will say that short term manipulations of dieting patterns and caloric intake never work long term. Also, any caloric restrictions without also adding exercise is shooting yourself in the foot. If you don't exercise whilst restricting calories, you will be losing muscle, something we all do anyways after our mid-20s. This will further decrease your metabolism and make keeping the weight off more difficult. People like to trot out the "can't outrun a bad diet", which is true except if you have serious milage. However, neither can you keep weight in check without exercise.

One of the mistakes many women do is focus too much on cardio and ignore weight training. Weight training is key to keeping metabolism level as we age and promote fat burning. This NYT lay summary of current understanding of the bio-physiology of weight training is good.

Focus less on the short term, and accept that to end the weight cycle you are on means to make permanent changes, and know that long term weight stability means adding exercise.

emmathedilemma · 29/07/2021 09:06

I hear you!
I did WW about 10 years ago and the weight fell off me. Now mid 40's and it's creeping back on. I tried WW for 3 months last year but barely lost any weight and it left me so hungry all the time. I literally don't have any more hours in the week to do any more exercise, barely eat any processed foods, cook from scratch, drink 3 litres of water a day, sleep well, my main downside is probably wine, but still I'm sure I don't deserve to be as fat as I am! Im sure age/hormones have something to do with it, I've had problems with my periods and tried all sorts of medication over the last couple of years which I'm convinced hasn't helped. I've just stopped taking anything hormonal to see if it helps.

mistermagpie · 29/07/2021 09:17

I think you should see the GP and work on being more active. The diet stuff isn't working for you, you are picking bits from lots of different 'diets' and not really sticking to them, just focus on eating healthily and up the exercise. You might not lose weight but you will feel better and might be more motivated.

GP for pelvic floor and the swelling/pins and needles thing. I'm sure you said you are a nurse, so you know better than to avoid getting seen for these symptoms.

Weight training changed my whole body, I started last year and at 41 my body looks better than it ever has - and I had three children in the last six years! Nothing fancy, I follow Caroline Girvan on YouTube. Courtney Black is good if you want a 'plan' too - she does 28 day plans and people get great results. I spent a bit of money on dumbells/kettlebells but it's been worth it. I run a couple of times a week as well but that's for mental health/headspace really, it doesn't help me lose weight because it makes me hungry!

Anyway, you need to be more active. Like I say, I have three little kids and a job and I make time for exercise. You can too. But sort the pelvic floor and back as a priority.

Bryonyshcmyony · 29/07/2021 09:21

@mistermagpie did you start with Caroline Girvan? I'm keen to do this

HurryUpAndWait23 · 29/07/2021 09:30

Maybe for some reason you've lost lots of water.

And we agree that alcohol dehydrates you but you aren't making the connection? Confused

OP posts:
Bryonyshcmyony · 29/07/2021 09:31

@HurryUpAndWait23

Maybe for some reason you've lost lots of water.

And we agree that alcohol dehydrates you but you aren't making the connection? Confused

Are you serious OP? 🤣
StrongCoffeeAvalanche · 29/07/2021 09:36

Hi OP. Just eat in a calorie deficit and be patient with it. Be aware your calorie deficit may be lower than you think. Because im so short I can only have 1400 Kcal (ish) a day to MAINTAIN my weight. So I really have to watch what I eat and exercise to get the lbs down. 1lb a week I consider good. It's incredibly hard to get the weight off!

HurryUpAndWait23 · 29/07/2021 09:37

@StrongCoffeeAvalanche

Hi OP. Just eat in a calorie deficit and be patient with it. Be aware your calorie deficit may be lower than you think. Because im so short I can only have 1400 Kcal (ish) a day to MAINTAIN my weight. So I really have to watch what I eat and exercise to get the lbs down. 1lb a week I consider good. It's incredibly hard to get the weight off!
I agree. I just need to accept that it's taking longer and I need to consider exercising.

Tbh I knew weight loss would slow down one day, but I just assumed it would be when I hit the menopause.

OP posts:
StrongCoffeeAvalanche · 29/07/2021 09:38

Oh and you need to include alcohol and drinks in the calories. Also your weight will massively fluctuate with your water retention and menstrual cycle

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