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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Why can't I lose weight?! Is it my age? 😭

228 replies

HurryUpAndWait23 · 28/07/2021 17:30

Im 39.

I've never been overweight but I was always comfortable at 9st12 and when I started to push 10+ stone (around Christmas or too many summer BBQ's and wine) I'd do 5:2 or similar and the weight would come off easily, always around 2lb a week.

Now, I'm 11stone and 24.5 on the BMI and I've been trying to lose weight for months.
I've tried WW (worked very well in the past) 5:2 which was always great, and I can get down to 10st10 if I'm lucky and it goes back up again.

What the fuck is going on?! I've even stopped drinking (was drinking wine most nights, now drinking once a week and have done for about 2 months), I thought the weight would fall off then - but no!

I feel fit and well so I don't think it's a thyroid issue or anything medical.

I'm 39 soon - is it my bloody age?!

How fucking depressing if it is?!

OP posts:
Isthisit22 · 28/07/2021 21:18

I'm in my 40s and run a few times a week. It makes all the difference. I'm back to being able to eat virtually anything I like and am my lowest weight in about 10 years.
Try couch to 5k. You may not like it at first but exercise does make a difference and will boost your mood (eventually!)

Bryonyshcmyony · 28/07/2021 21:19

Low carb isn't a magic weight loss remedy, water is involved in the metabolism and storage of carbs so if you stop eating them you'll see the scales go down a huge amount really fast, but it's just water, not fat unfortunately and you'll gain it all back as soon as you start eating carbs again

I've lost a lot of body fat eating low carb. Yes perhaps I am not eating as many calories, I've never added them up, but I eat lots of cheese, peanut butter, cream and butter so who knows? I've very rarely hungry for snacks though so it's brilliant from that perspective

EarringsandLipstick · 28/07/2021 21:20

Brilliant Fraulein you sound great ☺️

WeAreTheHeroes · 28/07/2021 21:26

I'd look at getting a recommended personal trainer tbh - you'll learn correct form and they'll be able to show you what exercises you can do without aggravating your back.

WeAreTheHeroes · 28/07/2021 21:29

Completely agree @erinperin about calories in and calories out.

EarringsandLipstick · 28/07/2021 21:31

The only thing that matters when it comes to weight loss is calories in vs calories out.

This is the hill I'm prepared to die on here on MN over & over again. 😀

It's not that simple. Though you're not incorrect.

For some people that will work fine, for weight loss (though health is another matter again).

For many others it won't. Our bodies are complex machines. We are designed to be active, to move, to expend energy lifting heavy stuff (sort of).

Genetics & just who we are, matter.

It's a fact though that exercising improves our metabolic rate, and allows us to continue burning more calories beyond the exercise itself.

It's a fact that building muscle mass - through exercise - ensures less fat acquisition, which for women especially in peri / menopause can be a challenge as we often acquire fat in places which becomes harder to shift, regardless of diet, and even when our overall weight is ok. You will not, for example, get rid of tummy / bottom fat just be dieting, in your 40s. It's about what you eat and when and how much. It's also about exercise.

The other key point is: know thyself. As indicated on this thread, everyone is different & different things work for other people that won't work for me.

I know for example I need carbs. I have changed my pattern of eating & am more careful about when I eat, but I need carbs.

Equally I listened to my body & changed how I ate - so usually 2 main meals a day usually breakfast & dinner. Any more I feel odd & bloated & sleep, already affected by peri, is worse.

But I snack, eat chocolate every day which to someone else would seem daft.

There's a lot to be said for being intuitive about how we eat / exercise.

Sorry for the essay 😳

WobblingMoon · 28/07/2021 21:35

@Bryonyshcmyony

Low carb isn't a magic weight loss remedy, water is involved in the metabolism and storage of carbs so if you stop eating them you'll see the scales go down a huge amount really fast, but it's just water, not fat unfortunately and you'll gain it all back as soon as you start eating carbs again

I've lost a lot of body fat eating low carb. Yes perhaps I am not eating as many calories, I've never added them up, but I eat lots of cheese, peanut butter, cream and butter so who knows? I've very rarely hungry for snacks though so it's brilliant from that perspective

This works for me too. I can eat a handful of almonds or a protein bar and feel full for ages with absolutely no cravings. But if I eat a slice of toast on it's own I could easily eat 6 slices. It sets off cravings. Same with cereal and crisps.

I still eat bread/toast but always with something like peanut butter or scrambled egg on it as part of a meal. That seems to counteract the mad carb cravings. It's about finding what works for you though. Not everyone gets my "eat one bowl of cereal and you'll eat 4" thing.

But high fat (good fats) I never feel hungry and never get cravings. Calorie-wise I must be eating less.

Nsky · 28/07/2021 21:36

Sure it’s not thyroid ?
Difficult to know, I’m 59 cut out added sugar, going gf, to lose the weight or gut.
Lost 2st at 49 been off since

Bryonyshcmyony · 28/07/2021 21:36

WobblingMoon I'm exactly the same!

Beckhamsmetatarsal · 28/07/2021 21:42

@movingadviceneeded

I'm 37 and have been on 1000-1200 calories a day for 4 weeks, walking up to 10 miles per week and I have so far lost.........(drum roll)...... 1lb.

Confused

This is not enough food, especially when active.
stopgap · 28/07/2021 21:52

I’m 44, don’t drink, work out 5 times week—barre, Pilates, weights, Peloton, running, and mix it all up—and eat low carb. I want to look a certain way so here we are. Some might think it joyless, but I like to feel and look as best as I possibly can. I’m 5’7, 9 stone and size 8.

Lemons1571 · 28/07/2021 22:03

Mid 40’s here. Lost over 8 stone in 11 months. Meal replacement shakes and lots of salad, I track everything on mfp including skimmed mills in coffee. No cheating. None. Coke from size 22 to size 10. It can be done but you’ve got to go for it thinking longer term, and really stick to it.

Lemons1571 · 28/07/2021 22:04

Gone not coke Grin

Ladywinesalot · 28/07/2021 22:12

OP it’s our ages…

Cut back on calories and you need to workout

No other get out…

WobblingMoon · 28/07/2021 22:14

@stopgap

I’m 44, don’t drink, work out 5 times week—barre, Pilates, weights, Peloton, running, and mix it all up—and eat low carb. I want to look a certain way so here we are. Some might think it joyless, but I like to feel and look as best as I possibly can. I’m 5’7, 9 stone and size 8.
I don't see why anyone would think you were "joyless" for that. It's not excessive - you exercise, with rest days, and eat well.

If you're exercise resistant (like OP is, and I was) then I think the biggest thing is finding something you like doing/find tolerable. Is there anything else she could do that builds strength other than old fashioned strength training (I do that, but some folk find it boring) or HIIT? @EarringsandLipstick might have some ideas.

WobblingMoon · 28/07/2021 22:15

@Lemons1571

Mid 40’s here. Lost over 8 stone in 11 months. Meal replacement shakes and lots of salad, I track everything on mfp including skimmed mills in coffee. No cheating. None. Coke from size 22 to size 10. It can be done but you’ve got to go for it thinking longer term, and really stick to it.
Might have been coke! Cocaine is the supermodel's way to keep the weight down.
Bluntness100 · 28/07/2021 22:24

@Ladywinesalot

OP it’s our ages…

Cut back on calories and you need to workout

No other get out…

Nonsense, I’m 52 and have lost ten pounds in the last four weeks, it’s sod all to do with age and everything to do with what you consume.
Bluntness100 · 28/07/2021 22:29

I couldn't care less for carbs but do love too much fruit and crisps

Um what? Is the issue you lack know nutritional knownledge? Both crisps and fruit are high in carbs, even cucumber has carbs. Your posts read to me you lack nutritional understanding so struggle with diets due to not understanding what you consume?

Lemons1571 · 28/07/2021 22:30

@WobblingMoon probably be cheaper Grin

happydays2345 · 28/07/2021 22:32

I'm 9 stone 4, and 8 stone 8 is my happy weight! I have bigs boobs and bum though! I'm 39 and it feels hard to loose the few pounds. I normally stop when I hit 9 stone and make adjustments. I'm convinced it's harder when you're older!

TheBullfinch · 28/07/2021 22:37

Welcome to peri menopause.

Yes, the older you get the harder it is.

Even when i was young I had to stick to 1000 calories a day or I'd not lose weight. These days, it's 800 calories or the scale doesn't budge.

Low carb/Paleo/keto helps. Fasting helps. Weights help too.

Its shit but then so is gaining wright. I'd rather watch it and be thin.

TheBullfinch · 28/07/2021 23:14

@WobblingMoon completely with you on the carb cravings. If I eat one bag of crisps I eat 4. Same with bread, pasta, rice and noodles. Far better off just eating protein and fat with a bit of green salad.

Reallyreallyborednow · 29/07/2021 00:06

I mean, I weigh everything or scan the barcode so I'm not going over my portion size but I've never done a meal thing like you are, is it expensive? Which one do you use?

I use diet chef. I had a free trial about 10 years ago and lost on it, even though I had weekends off as it was a busy time for me. Found an offer £79 for a month. Food is OK, not great, mainly chilli/curry/dhal for the veggie option.

Done 3 weeks as I said, with no exercise as we were isolating for most of it. Going to add in exercise now, and will sign up for another month, full price, but I reckon I spend about that on food anyway. It will be worth every penny if it keeps working.

Trevors · 29/07/2021 00:47

My experience was that soon after hitting 40 weight maintenance got much trickier. Just prior to first lockdown I’d got into pretty good shape, best of been in years doing lots of yoga and weights. The stress of lockdown affecting our household income dramatically and not being eligible for support and I ended up putting on 1.5 stone comfort eating.
To try snd rectify this. I switched from eating/drinking pretty badly (eating loads of choc and drinking wine every single night) to cut out all alcohol, all sugar (other than berries), all snacking and also fasted 16:8. Made healthy, fairly low carb meals. I must have cut at least 1000 cals (600 wine/400 choc) a day off what I had been consuming, plus I Exercised 500-800 cals a day (according to my apple watch). I did this for six weeks and lost 2lbs. Very disappointing!

But I’m trying again. looking back at how I got fit before I think yoga and weight training seems to be ideal combo for me. I do hiit too cos I’ve read that’s the most efficient for health/fitness but weights/yoga seem to give me more visible results.

Trevors · 29/07/2021 00:52

Food wise, it seems clear that calories in vs calories out is absolute rubbish. I think many people have experienced it just not working for them.
There’s lots of high quality research being done into the massive variation in individual responses to food.

joinzoe.com/research

“Key findings

Your nutritional responses are unique, which means that there is no one 'right' way to eat
The relationship between the number of calories consumed and nutritional response is not straightforward - the adage of ‘calories in, calories out’ no longer works
Your genes don't determine how your metabolism works - We found that even identical twins, who share all their genes, can respond differently to the same foods
It's not just what you eat, but how and when you eat that matters - Our research suggests that what you eat accounts for less than 25 percent of your nutritional response. The form your food takes, when you eat, food sequence, and food combinations all play a role in determining how you break down and use food.
Your microbiome influences your nutritional responses, health, and weight - the good news is that the microbiome can be altered by changing what you eat, offering a positive way for everyone to improve their gut health and weight.“

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