DH packed lunch comeuppance

[Bananapuppy]

A couple of months ago, I took the children to school/nursery (as I did every day) and for the first time, had managed to forget the baby’s packed lunch. Never mind, sacrificed my lunch break to take it in, bit of a pain, no big deal. My DH just couldn’t get his head around why I hadn’t checked I had it before leaving- not in a mean way, just in a conversational, very logical way- aghast that I didn’t have a mental checklist in the car every morning. I tried to explain to him that it was a little bit chaotic in the morning, to which his well meaning solution was that we should leave earlier. I was not impressed. (Things are very 50/50 in our house, he wasn’t being a twat, he just didn’t ‘get it’).

Well, two months ago, I started working full time, and DH in turn reduced his hours to fit around school drop offs. In his 8 weeks of school/nursery runs so far, he was forgotten the little one’s lunch at least five times. The mornings are absolute chaos and he ends up spending his lunchtimes driving like a headless chicken to drop things off…

WIBU to suggest he “makes a mental checklist in the mornings”, or simply leaves earlier?

😂😂😂

You know the cars say ‘good morning’

Can you sneakily change it to say ‘lunch bag??’

That’s so funny. Have you mentioned the mental checklist?!

@godmum56

not only YANBU, its an absolute requirement :)

This. You will be letting down the whole of wife-dom if you don't 😀

@BluebellsGreenbells

You know the cars say ‘good morning’

Can you sneakily change it to say ‘lunch bag??’

Teach the baby to say, "Lunch bag," so it's their first word instead of, "Dada". Or if the little one's already talking, get them to ask him if he's got their lunch bag, or maybe, "Mummy says get my lunch bag". Is, "Mental checklist, Daddy, mental checklist," a bit too advanced?

I need a mental checklist. Realised this morning I'd booked my shopping delivery between 8.30 and 9.30 and dentist for 9.00. Broken ankle, DH can't take me and be here for delivery so bit of a nightmare.

Family lunch out tomorrow arranged a couple of hours ago, I booked restaurant and emailed time to everyone and then carried on with ordering something I needed, yes you've guessed it I paid extra for next day delivery and I will probably be out.

Can someone let me know where I can get a mental checklist as I need one. I blame the painkillers for my ankle but that might just be an excuse.

My mind is boggling at the idea of a marriage where this wouldn’t have already been grasped and used to beat the other party over the head with repeatedly

Maybe that’s why I’m divorced.

Does he remember ever advising you to have a mental checklist, or to get up earlier? Or has he conveniently forgotten?!

Yes its kind of funny but at the same time he dropped his hours so you could work full time instead of trying to rub it in his face why can't you help each other out

So can I just check what a mentall checklist is?

As in sitting in the car & mentally checking off that you have everything before driving off?

@Dddccc

Yes its kind of funny but at the same time he dropped his hours so you could work full time instead of trying to rub it in his face why can't you help each other out

Perhaps he shouldn't have been so snarky to Op then & helped her out?

I think I’d set the Alexa to remind him at a strategic point in the morning hooley to ‘remember your mental checklist’ .

When something like this happens to me I always hear Captain Holt from Brooklyn 99 in my head yelling ‘VINDICATIOOOON’

Love this

I also love that you've remembered his comment all this time, so it's there in your armoury ready.

Not DH related, but I do remember the time that my DB and SiL brought their PFB over to mine for the day. DNeice was about 11 months old, and was at the stage of eating anything, tucking into a platter of olives, hummus, quinoa, veg sticks etc etc. My Ds1 was 3, and was going through a hideously fussy stage. DB was all, 'oh, we've been bringing her up to enjoy a wide range of tastes and textures, we just wouldn't tolerate any fussiness'.
I bit my tongue, but didn't forget
Three years later, I had them over for lunch again. DNeice was a right fussy little bugger! Didn't hold my tongue then, I'd been waiting for that day.

Years ago I had an elderly patient whose door had an alarm when she opened it to remind her to check for Id.

I bet you can still get them. You can record your own message.

Ha, absolutely! Accompanied by a concerned head tilt and comment that he must be very pushed in the mornings if the first five times he forgot didn't help him to remember.

@Dddccc

Yes its kind of funny but at the same time he dropped his hours so you could work full time instead of trying to rub it in his face why can't you help each other out

Genuine question.

Why is it a favour for a father to adjust his work hours around childcare?

OP has gone back to work full time, presumably the money is beneficial to the entire family. Why is the husbands adjustment of his hours considered a favour to be grateful for?

When I had DC it was on the understanding both DH & I would work around childcare responsibilities. Neither of us considered it a favour to the other as the children were a joint decisions and are both our DC.

OP was doing a massive favour to her DH by going part time in the first place, thereby losing out on pay and promotion opportunities to shoulder the larger childcare responsibilities, therefore her DH should have been nicer to her and not made such stupid ‘suggestions’.

@GreenFingersWouldBeHandy

Is this just a pernickety 'He said that so I'm saying this' post?

Save your energy and work out how to do it together.

Are you the one who voted YABU?

How about this?

"Well, I could remind you of the time you were aghast that I didn't have a mental checklist in the mornings and suggested that I should leave earlier - but I won't..."

@JockTamsonsBairns

I bit my tongue, but didn't forget grin
Three years later, I had them over for lunch again. DNeice was a right fussy little bugger! Didn't hold my tongue then, I'd been waiting for that day.

Ooh how did that go down

@GreenFingersWouldBeHandy

Is this just a pernickety 'He said that so I'm saying this' post?

Save your energy and work out how to do it together.

FFS, MN used to be fun. Now every thread needs to have at least one fun sponge who can't seem to prevent themselves from making a twatlike, snide comment about what the vast majority of humanity can see is obviously lighthearted. Sigh.

@Dddccc

Yes its kind of funny but at the same time he dropped his hours so you could work full time instead of trying to rub it in his face why can't you help each other out

Argh, another one! Twats, twats everywhere!

@How2Help

It went down like a lead balloon, frankly

DB has an acute sense of amnesia when it comes to his twattish comments over the years though. Just as well my memory is so sharp, so that I can remind him.
Ds1 and DNeice are now 14 and 12, and I'm still smug that Ds is a far more adventurous eater

@SeaShoreGalore

My mind is boggling at the idea of a marriage where this wouldn’t have already been grasped and used to beat the other party over the head with repeatedly

Maybe that’s why I’m divorced.

Same 😂😂😂

@AlCalavicci

If you can get him to have a mental check list make sure the DCs are on it

🤣🤣

@JockTamsonsBairns

Ds1 and DNeice are now 14 and 12, and I'm still smug that Ds is a far more adventurous eater

I’d be the same