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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Creepy camera in the house

141 replies

chnahingnameagain · 28/07/2021 02:38

At my in-laws house last week I noticed a camera in the main family room, I felt very uncomfortable once I noticed it as I didn't know if am being recorded, it was facing the direction am sitting.
For context, my sil, Bil (both are dh siblings) and mil live in the house along with sil's dd. Dd is 9 years old.
Upon seeing it I didn't ask mil anything as most likely she won't have a clue about it, sil and bil (will call him Pete) were not home.
At the moment my other Bil (will Call him Dave)and his family have come over to stay at mil house, we went over and I noticed the camera is turned on, it records everything on to a sd card, (I looked up the camera model and description)
I asked about the camera and was told it's to keep an eye on sil's dd, sil works from home, that's fine they want to use it as a nanny cam or whatever, but here is my aibu why is the camera left turned on when everyone else is around at the house, we've had quite a few family gatherings in the last two weeks, and just makes no sense to leave the camera on. Why not have it turned off? It's recording all our conversations, myself and daves wife were having a private convo, we forgot about the camera and at the time didn't know it's always turned on, we are both extremely annoyed that we were not informed about a camera being there and recording everything. When everyone is around it is a complete invasion of privacy to keep the camera on. There's just no need as dd isn't on her own and sil isn't working now.
From what Pete said, it seems the camera will remain turned on and that's that.
Pete has form for being nosey and going through other siblings private mssgs and emails, So I very much can see him playing back the footage to see what we spoke about, yes he has a lot of time on his hands!
On the day I noticed the camera, I had a new handbag, sil was working upstairs so I didn't see her, a few days later she asked me about that bag, I asked her has she seen the bag as I don't remember having the bag with me when I last saw her, her face froze and she stopped saying anything , I realised she must've viewed me in the camera with the handbag!

Do we have a right to be annoyed? Especially seen as they never informed us we are being recorded? Or it's their house and entitled to keep it on permanently?

OP posts:
Hannayeah · 28/07/2021 03:20

No, you are not being unreasonable! I wouldn’t go over again until they remove it!

1forAll74 · 28/07/2021 03:36

Maybe they like to see all the family fun going on at any gatherings,, like watching old videos of family stuff.

Aquamarine1029 · 28/07/2021 03:39

You are not unreasonable in not wanting to be recorded. Does your MIL and FIL know what's going on in their home?

QueenBee52 · 28/07/2021 03:44

Damn right you have a right to be annoyed.. furious in fact ..

I would not visit there ever again.. EVER 🌸

QueenBee52 · 28/07/2021 03:45

@1forAll74

Maybe they like to see all the family fun going on at any gatherings,, like watching old videos of family stuff.

Suuuuuuuure

Kokeshi123 · 28/07/2021 04:30

That is creepy as hell. Also, is it hooked up to anything remotely internet-enabled? There is no way of making this kind of stuff 100% secure.

I think I'd be making a mental note to meet them outside their home for the foreseeable. Even if they say they've switched it off, is there a way to make sure of this? And even if they said they've "removed" it, I'd wonder if they'd actually just put it in a different, hidden location in order to keep you happy. They don't sound very honest or trustworthy.

Megasausagehead · 28/07/2021 04:34

It is a complete invasion of your privacy, yes.

No way would I go there.

Aspiringmatriarch · 28/07/2021 04:49

I don't think I'd ever go over again tbh, even if they 'remove' it you'll never know if they're surveilling you in some way. Very creepy, intrusive and rude! A bit concerning that they're recording their daughter all the time too.

Shamoo · 28/07/2021 05:01

Are you sure that it actually records and is kept? We have a camera in our living room so we can check in on our dog if we are out, but the feed doesn’t save anywhere (you have to pay extra for a subscription to actually record it all and keep it).

ChunkySloth · 28/07/2021 05:11

I wouldn't be visiting again.

Mindymomo · 28/07/2021 06:33

What does your husband say about it. There’s only one reason for the camera and that’s to see what’s going on. It’s different if they were to have a pet, but if not it’s really creepy. I think your MIL should know about it if it’s her house, if I was her, I would not be happy.

ComDummings · 28/07/2021 06:39

That’s weird as fuck

maddening · 28/07/2021 06:44

If you visit again put something over the camera with something that makes some sort of white noise in it,.so they won't pick up sound or pictures

girlmom21 · 28/07/2021 06:46

I can't believe you haven't mentioned it to MIL.

Tell her - it's her home - imagine how she will feel!

SaltySheepdog · 28/07/2021 06:51

Turn it off. You don’t want to be recorded a d you do t consent to it.

Alternatively don’t visit and tell them it’s an infringement of your personal space

Personally I’d consider this to be very strange and I wonder if there’s a different explication

SaltySheepdog · 28/07/2021 06:52

So creepy

pilates · 28/07/2021 06:57

I would feel uncomfortable with this

miltonj · 28/07/2021 06:58

Don't visit again until it's taken down, and let them know the reason. I'd deal with the fall out on this one. It's worth it.

ChaToilLeam · 28/07/2021 07:03

I wouldn’t go round and I’d be quite open about why.

NoIDontWatchLoveIsland · 28/07/2021 07:08

Yep this is creepy. I understand the nannycam type thing, friends have had this but it's been turned off when not in use for that purpose.

ScaredOfDinosaurs · 28/07/2021 07:12

Legally they are doing nothing wrong but morally this is disgusting.

Don't go there again, tell them why! As PP mentioned, they will just hide it better from now on.

OldTinHat · 28/07/2021 07:12

Bit of an OTT reaction?? I have cameras in my house. I live alone and they're for a sense of security, I'm not spying on visitors or recording their every word.

MrsEko · 28/07/2021 07:31

@OldTinHat

Bit of an OTT reaction?? I have cameras in my house. I live alone and they're for a sense of security, I'm not spying on visitors or recording their every word.

Then your situation is a completely different one. Confused

You have cameras in your own home.

In the OP's situation

A) it is her mother in laws house and the mother in laws does not know about the cameras.

B) the footage is being viewed at a later date.

nestletoulouse · 28/07/2021 07:43

@ChaToilLeam

I wouldn’t go round and I’d be quite open about why.
Me too. I'd tell mil that I'm not comfortable being recorded without consent so won't be coming into the house – happy to socialise elsewhere though.
DancesWithTortoises · 28/07/2021 07:46

Very creepy. Don't go again until the camera is removed.

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