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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Creepy camera in the house

141 replies

chnahingnameagain · 28/07/2021 02:38

At my in-laws house last week I noticed a camera in the main family room, I felt very uncomfortable once I noticed it as I didn't know if am being recorded, it was facing the direction am sitting.
For context, my sil, Bil (both are dh siblings) and mil live in the house along with sil's dd. Dd is 9 years old.
Upon seeing it I didn't ask mil anything as most likely she won't have a clue about it, sil and bil (will call him Pete) were not home.
At the moment my other Bil (will Call him Dave)and his family have come over to stay at mil house, we went over and I noticed the camera is turned on, it records everything on to a sd card, (I looked up the camera model and description)
I asked about the camera and was told it's to keep an eye on sil's dd, sil works from home, that's fine they want to use it as a nanny cam or whatever, but here is my aibu why is the camera left turned on when everyone else is around at the house, we've had quite a few family gatherings in the last two weeks, and just makes no sense to leave the camera on. Why not have it turned off? It's recording all our conversations, myself and daves wife were having a private convo, we forgot about the camera and at the time didn't know it's always turned on, we are both extremely annoyed that we were not informed about a camera being there and recording everything. When everyone is around it is a complete invasion of privacy to keep the camera on. There's just no need as dd isn't on her own and sil isn't working now.
From what Pete said, it seems the camera will remain turned on and that's that.
Pete has form for being nosey and going through other siblings private mssgs and emails, So I very much can see him playing back the footage to see what we spoke about, yes he has a lot of time on his hands!
On the day I noticed the camera, I had a new handbag, sil was working upstairs so I didn't see her, a few days later she asked me about that bag, I asked her has she seen the bag as I don't remember having the bag with me when I last saw her, her face froze and she stopped saying anything , I realised she must've viewed me in the camera with the handbag!

Do we have a right to be annoyed? Especially seen as they never informed us we are being recorded? Or it's their house and entitled to keep it on permanently?

OP posts:
WestendVBroadway · 28/07/2021 14:20

@chnahingnameagain, next time you visit(if you ever do again) take out your mobile phone and start filming them while you are in the living room. See what their reaction is!

wordsareveryunnecessary · 28/07/2021 14:30

A close member of my family has those WiFi cameras outside his house. One pointing over front door and one that can see the seating area in the garden. His daughter is connected to it. This means she can listen in and watch anytime. I was sat chatting to my relative one day and her kids suddenly started saying hello through the camera.
So I now refuse to sit near the camera if she's not there !

Wh0Knew · 28/07/2021 14:32

Where else do they have cameras? If they are for monitoring the 9 year old, then she wouldn’t be made stay in the one room all the time, would she?
I’d be concerned there are other cameras, horrified at what sorts of private conversations may have been listened to, and would refuse point blank to return at all (because they won’t remove them, they’ll just hide them better)…..

StarlingsDarlings · 28/07/2021 14:41

Yanbu. It’s very odd. We have indoor cameras but they are set up to only turn on when we leave the house - so we can check our pets are ok - and they turn off as soon as we arrive home. I always mention how they work to new visitors as would hate for anyone to think they were being recorded. I also wouldn’t like to visit a house with cameras in - I expect sooner or later you forget they’re there and could say things you’d rather were kept private.

Bitofachinwag · 28/07/2021 15:51

@ChainJane

I don't see the issue, it's in a private home so is perfectly fine. I have more concerns about being recorded in public, I don't like the fact that people can trace my every movement the moment I step outside the front door. But inside, who cares?
The OP cares, and lots of other people on this thread!
CSIblonde · 28/07/2021 19:36

That won't be the only camera. It's your MIL's house, she is entitled to know. I'd check the other rooms too. If SIL works from home a camera isn't necessary re her DD. It reeks of control freakery & possibly peeping tom type creepiness .

QueenBee52 · 28/07/2021 19:39

@Freshapples

If they want to record their sitting room then there is no reason why they shouldn't. If you don't like it, don't go round.

it's Mother in Laws living room and she is unaware they are recording.

Suzi888 · 28/07/2021 19:50

Reminds me of ‘meet the fockers’ 😆 I mean it’s their house and they can do what they like so YABU, BUT whether you visit again is another matter!
Throw something over it!

OnTheBoardwalk · 28/07/2021 20:05

It’s weird and creepy.

I’ve got camera in living room that turns off when I enter the house. As other posters have said I use it for security and to check on the cat when I’m not there

If someone comes in to feed the cat if I was away (ah bring away who remembers those days) they are aware of the camera. I wouldn’t dream of watching any footage

Tell MIL. if you don’t think she’ll believe you confess some false outrageous gossip in front of the camera and wait to see if it’s repeated.

HappyDays40 · 28/07/2021 20:31

Walk over to it tell them its odd, switch off and you won't stay if its on.

Original poster
chnahingnameagain · 28/07/2021 20:35

Yes we know for a fact it records and keeps recording, he said so himself it all records and uploads on to the cloud. I've gone online and checked the camera and it does do that, very crisp quality, fantastic sound too!
He just got embarrassed today, another one of my sil came round who was blissfully unaware of the camera, when the camera got mentioned she turned in shock and literally said to him "are you spying on us!? Why is there a camera!?"
His response was that's always turned on, hardly an explanation! He seemed embarrassed but I doubt embarrassed enough to turn it off!
I just don't understand why it would remain turned on, it's a complete invasion of privacy, and am now paranoid if he has listening devices in other rooms!
Their family dynamic is weird, although he's the youngest, no one would dare tell him off
Dh will speak privately to mil to inform her about the camera, he hasn't had a chance yet.

The camera is a simple turning on and off, it's not like once it's turned off, it would be a faff to turn back on, a simple button, it's all connected to the wifi.
It's just doesn't sit right with me, the dd is 9 years old, they've never had a baby monitor for her when she was a baby/young child but all of a sudden they need this camera on 24/7 and using her as an excuse.
Am sure he would feel uncomfortable being in my house if I had cameras everywhere recording him.

OP posts:
Redwinestillfine · 28/07/2021 22:23

Keep embarrassing him by making sure everyone knows they're getting recorded, including mil. Keep asking him to turn it off.

Original poster
chnahingnameagain · 28/07/2021 22:31

So dh has told Mil now and she doesn't quite understand what it means, she thinks it's a camera that takes pictures, he explained it records everything and can be viewed at a later date, she doesn't seem to understand so he will speak to her in person outside and explain in person.

OP posts:
Lou98 · 28/07/2021 22:32

It's hard without knowing the people and only you'll know if there is likely to be sinister motives behind it but we have a camera that we use as a doggy cam, we got it when one of our dogs kept wetting the floor at night and we weren't sure which one (turned out to be a urine infection but we didn't know which dog it was) and now we use it to check on the dogs if we're out.
Ours is left on all the time but we never watch back the videos and they get over ridden after a week. It just never occurs to us to turn it off to be honest. We would both forget to turn it back on before going out then wouldn't be able to check on the dogs which is the purpose we have it for. Just because it is left on doesn't mean we're spying on our guests, the people we have in our house really aren't all that interesting 😂

Our camera is in plain sight though and no one that's ever came to the house has had a problem with it, they all know it records but also know we have no interest in them, just the dogs.

As I said only you know the people involved but the camera being on all the time doesn't necessarily mean they're sitting at night watching videos of you. Now you know it's there, just don't say anything you wouldn't be happy being overheard

Dozer · 28/07/2021 22:36

‘Pete’ is creepy AF!

CutePanda · 28/07/2021 22:43

@Hallyup6

Overreacting. We have cameras all over our house. We're entitled to protect it and keep an eye on our kids. There's nothing creepy or sinister about it ffs. I guarantee nobody was deliberately spying on you, you were in their living room, in their house so they didn't need to use it to spy on you. I don't see the issue unless they've got one in the bathroom or something.
Unless your DC are babies and you live in a huge building like Buckingham Palace, this is super creepy and intrusive.
Bitofachinwag · 28/07/2021 22:46

people we have in our house really aren't all that interesting
The point isn't whether your guests are "interesting". It's a breach of privacy. Do you know for a fact that your guests know that you are recording sound and picture at all times?

Blondeshavemorefun · 28/07/2021 22:47

I didn’t think camera were allowed to record sound

Not nanny ones

Invasion of privacy

So can see but not hear

Maybe a quick pretend bonk on their sofa will make them turn it off

Or turn it round /cover it with towel when there next

Lou98 · 28/07/2021 22:49

@Bitofachinwag

people we have in our house really aren't all that interesting The point isn't whether your guests are "interesting". It's a breach of privacy. Do you know for a fact that your guests know that you are recording sound and picture at all times?

Yes actually I do, like I say it's in plain sight and we only have a select few people who are in the house who are all aware and have seen the set up on our phones etc. Like I said in my post, they are aware

PerciphonePuma · 28/07/2021 23:18

@chnahingnameagain Does your MIL seriously not know that it's possible to film people?! Hmm Surely she remembers Camcorders?!?! She cannot possibly be too old to remember them? If she does, then just say it's like a mini-Camcorder which is recording in her living room all the time

PerciphonePuma · 28/07/2021 23:22

@Hallyup6 Skip to 1:46

worldandsky · 03/08/2021 00:04

I'M THE OP, I HAVE NAME CHANGED

so I went round to my in-laws yesterday, in the room where the camera is, was myself, two sil and bil (not Pete) so 4 of us in the room. Mid conversation i got up and turned the camera to face the wall, within seconds before I could even go back to sit down the camera was turning itself to face us again, was remotely being turned to face us, it wasn't able to fully turn to face the whole room so PETE came in the room and he actually said I've been notified someone is messing with my camera, (camera is linked to his phone) proceeded to walk in the direction of the camera, put the camera back to its original position and said leave the camera like this. And walked out!!!
I think we were all shocked and speechless!! Moments later bil that's in the room with us said it's not right that the camera is there recording everything and that there's no way us ladies could speak privately with a camera there. Obviously no one will say that to Pete. Bil covered the camera by placing a object in front of it. Few minutes later Pete came in the room, acting like he's looking for something, I think he just came in to see what's blocking the camera.

ShitPoetryClub · 03/08/2021 00:28

Pete is as creepy as fuck.
In what realm does anyone think its OK for him to film his 9 year old niece?

Sparklfairy · 03/08/2021 00:36

And you all just sat there and let him turn the camera back round and order you all not to touch it?

That is the point you say "pete, I don't want to be filmed. The camera goes off and you can turn it back on when we leave."

Or just take a pair of scissors to the power cord.

alexdgr8 · 03/08/2021 00:45

why do you continue meeting in that house.

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