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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Creepy camera in the house

141 replies

chnahingnameagain · 28/07/2021 02:38

At my in-laws house last week I noticed a camera in the main family room, I felt very uncomfortable once I noticed it as I didn't know if am being recorded, it was facing the direction am sitting.
For context, my sil, Bil (both are dh siblings) and mil live in the house along with sil's dd. Dd is 9 years old.
Upon seeing it I didn't ask mil anything as most likely she won't have a clue about it, sil and bil (will call him Pete) were not home.
At the moment my other Bil (will Call him Dave)and his family have come over to stay at mil house, we went over and I noticed the camera is turned on, it records everything on to a sd card, (I looked up the camera model and description)
I asked about the camera and was told it's to keep an eye on sil's dd, sil works from home, that's fine they want to use it as a nanny cam or whatever, but here is my aibu why is the camera left turned on when everyone else is around at the house, we've had quite a few family gatherings in the last two weeks, and just makes no sense to leave the camera on. Why not have it turned off? It's recording all our conversations, myself and daves wife were having a private convo, we forgot about the camera and at the time didn't know it's always turned on, we are both extremely annoyed that we were not informed about a camera being there and recording everything. When everyone is around it is a complete invasion of privacy to keep the camera on. There's just no need as dd isn't on her own and sil isn't working now.
From what Pete said, it seems the camera will remain turned on and that's that.
Pete has form for being nosey and going through other siblings private mssgs and emails, So I very much can see him playing back the footage to see what we spoke about, yes he has a lot of time on his hands!
On the day I noticed the camera, I had a new handbag, sil was working upstairs so I didn't see her, a few days later she asked me about that bag, I asked her has she seen the bag as I don't remember having the bag with me when I last saw her, her face froze and she stopped saying anything , I realised she must've viewed me in the camera with the handbag!

Do we have a right to be annoyed? Especially seen as they never informed us we are being recorded? Or it's their house and entitled to keep it on permanently?

OP posts:

JustLyra · 28/07/2021 09:24

I’d make sure your MIL knows.

Then I’d either not visit again, or visit briefly, but not get into any major discussions about anything given they’ve shown they do watch back.

I’d also be extremely suspicious- it’s not healthy to not be able to have a private conversation in your own home without it being recorded. Which of them set it up? Are they controlling in other ways? Are they controlling toward your MIL generally?

GammyLeg · 28/07/2021 09:28

Really, really creepy. There's no need for it to be on while you're all there!

rainbowstardrops · 28/07/2021 09:31

Very weird. I wouldn't be going there.

starrynight87 · 28/07/2021 09:35

This is so horrible, why can't people just live normally and mind their own business

RedBonnet · 28/07/2021 09:43

it's not your house so not your rules. You do have choices though

don't visit
when you go into the room say quite loudly 'oh I see you have the camera on again' which will remind you and others that it is on and you do know about it being on (just a reminder not to have a 'private' chat in that room).
ask them to switch it off while you are there

WhoNeedsaManOfTheWorld · 28/07/2021 09:52

You could have fun with it
Say loudly be careful everyone the camera is on then lean in closely whispering
It would drive bil nuts

HopeHappy · 28/07/2021 09:59

I'd be telling MIL everything you've said here and unplugging it every time I went round. That's just horrible behaviour from your BIL.

As for SIL then commenting on your bag?! My god - do they honestly have that little going on in their lives that they have to watch your in-laws??!

We have one camera in our house as a pet cam, but if I log in and see my DP on it, I stop watching. Even watching him, in our own house, in front of a camera he knows is there, feels wrong to me.

Ourlady · 28/07/2021 10:10

I wouldn't be going back and telling MIL why. How bloody creepy.

MrsPsmalls · 28/07/2021 10:10

We have an echo show in the sitting room that obviously is a camera, as do many many people. It's to see who's at the door and to check on the cat when we are out. But we could drop in on anyone's conversations if we fancied it, not that we do. From everyone's outrage here are people really not aware theses sorts of things are everywhere?

JenniferAllisonPhillipaSue · 28/07/2021 10:13

Other options;

Read the manual and learn how to remove the SD card that contains the recording capability, but leave the camera itself untouched so that they don't realise until they try to play back footage (they will then check the camera and realise they've been rumbled)

Place a large book or bag in front of the camera every time you are in the room (again, they'll realise they've been rumbled). If MIL comments on the weird positioning, that is your 'opening' to tell her about the camera.

We have a number of cameras. The one in our disabled son's bedroom (for safety) does not record. A second is only placed in position and used when we go on holiday. And the external system records video but not sound, and is a security system.

BlibBlabBlob · 28/07/2021 10:23

I worry that people might think this about us. There are cameras in several rooms, which exist for two reasons: (1) to check on the pets when we're not home and (2) to check that the house itself is OK while we're not home. I find it comforting to know that nobody has broken in e.g. while away for Christmas.

The only person who can see the camera feed is me, through a secure device i.e. my mobile phone, and only when I actively open the app. It is a live feed and not recorded anywhere.

There is no point to the cameras when someone is home, and I certainly wouldn't be looking at the feed if I knew that DH and/or one of the kids was at home as that is an invasion of privacy. But they don't actually get switched off, as there are several and it would be a right pain in the ass going around unplugging everything especially where power sockets are hidden behind furniture.

Mostly we forget about them, certainly during lockdown when somebody was always home. But threads like this make me wonder if guests come in, see a camera and think we're weirdos making recordings of them. If they DO think that, I would hope they'd say something to me so I can explain.

@chnahingnameagain you are certainly not being unreasonable to object to being recorded in somebody's home, and if your MIL has cameras in her own home that she doesn't know about then she should be made aware!

Hallyup6 · 28/07/2021 10:24

Overreacting. We have cameras all over our house. We're entitled to protect it and keep an eye on our kids. There's nothing creepy or sinister about it ffs. I guarantee nobody was deliberately spying on you, you were in their living room, in their house so they didn't need to use it to spy on you. I don't see the issue unless they've got one in the bathroom or something.

Ghosttile · 28/07/2021 10:27

Yep, creepy as fuck.

godmum56 · 28/07/2021 10:55

I have got live feed non recording cameras too, also one that does record. the recording one 'watches" my front door and the front of my house and its been set up since I had problems with a threatening neighbour, it only actually records when set off by a motion sensor. the others are used to watch birds in my garden. They are a faff to unplug and reset so I just leave them active.
I would NOT like others setting them up in my house without my knowledge though even if they did live with me

whynotwhatknot · 28/07/2021 10:55

Yeah wouldnt like that no need to be on permanently and the bag thing just proves theyre looking back at all conversations

QueenBee52 · 28/07/2021 12:43

@Hallyup6

well you've already been proven wrong by OP's own experience of conversations and things being brought up to her.. when the other person wasn't even there... BIL also hacks into emails etc.. so despite YOUR home system provides you with necessary comfort.. OP's MIL is not even aware the system in her own home is recorded and reviewed 24/7...

this is creepy and I suggest illegal (not 100% sure) to not inform everyone they are being recorded...

BIL and SIL sound shady as FOOK..

GrrrlPwr · 28/07/2021 12:49

Does it record voice as well?

I'd put a big book standing up in front of it. Or not go round.

Tootsey11 · 28/07/2021 12:54

Not exactly the same situation but I am a cleaner. Yesterday I discovered that there is a camera running in a house that I clean. I've been there nearly a year and it is on a device which covers the main living and kitchen area. I covered it with a cloth and within minutes one of the owners of the house returned. I rarely ever see these people. They said they were just picking up something but left with nothing.

I'm rightly annoyed to think I've been filmed without my permission.

Op, you are right to feel the way you do. Why can't they just turn it off when visitors arrive.

Cheeseycheeseycheesecheese · 28/07/2021 12:55

@1forAll74

Maybe they like to see all the family fun going on at any gatherings,, like watching old videos of family stuff.

I mean growing up dad used to set a camera up in the garden to record family parties and over years has converted vhs to dvd and given them as gifts to family members. But the camera was always set up on a tripod in obvious sight and there are loads of clips of everyone talking into the camera.

But this... this is creepy, its not a camera thats been put somewhere totally noticeable, its an invasion of privacy! So so wrong. OP I'd be demanding its removed before you visit again, it's weird

starfishmummy · 28/07/2021 13:15

@PersonaNonGarter

Don’t visit again until they tell you you are not being recorded in any of the rooms.

I'm not sure I would believe them. They will jjst be more adept at concealing the camera

TwoMountains · 28/07/2021 13:34

I think the thing that would annoy me most about this is the fact that they weren’t open about the camera being there. Especially when it looks like they’ve been watching the footage.

I can see a number of valid reasons why people might have a camera in their property, and that it might be inconvenient to move it around when there’s visitors - but if they’ve got a camera, especially one that’s on, then they should make visitors aware of it.
No one should be having to worry about being recorded without their knowledge and permission when they’re visiting friends or relatives.

ItsSunnyOutside · 28/07/2021 14:00

I would find this really creepy and I would tell anyone who had a camera in their home, using it the way they are, exactly that.

I also wouldn't return to their house, I would just say the camera makes you very uncomfortable and you find it weird.

sailmeaway · 28/07/2021 14:11

We have friends who have a camera like this in their lounge and kitchen, and I HATE it! mainly because I know it's on all the time and that it can be accessed remotely and when, say the mum is at home with the kids and the kids do something 'amusing', she'll text her DH at work and tell him to go check the recording from half an hour ago to look at it.
So they do look at footage, and it is on all the time...

Freshapples · 28/07/2021 14:15

If they want to record their sitting room then there is no reason why they shouldn't. If you don't like it, don't go round.

SirenSays · 28/07/2021 14:19

I wouldn't make a big deal out of it, I'd just say something like "Oh switch that camera off, I feel like I'm on Big Brother." if they refuse that then there's a bigger issue.
My BIL/SIL are sticky-fingered so I could definitely imagine keeping a camera on when they visit. Could they have similar concerns about you or your partner?

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