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AIBU?

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Original poster

Parents and property

237 replies

Fedduup32 · 28/07/2021 00:29

Please be kind I’m not in a good place at the moment mentally.

In my early 20’s my parents put a rental property in my name. Not all as good as it sounds. I’m in my 40’s now and because of this property was unable to get first time buyers mortgage when I was looking for my own place so didn’t get a good deal that I could have.

Over the years whenever I bring up any conversation it ends in my mum screaming at me and threatening to put the property in one of my siblings name instead. I’m really upset as I came to visit my mum with kids and mentioned our flat is too small and I would love to get a bigger place and asked her if i sold the property how much would I get so could use as a deposit so I can get a nicer place. She got unreasonable again which resulted in me screaming at her too, not a nice thing to be honest. In the end I managed to get info from her that the rental gets £70 profit a month so in 20 years of this I asked her if I can have my money and she starts screaming at me.

After a lot of shouting today I finally learnt truth from her that she only made me buy the property as her accountant told her it will make more sense money wise to put in one of the kids name as they would have to pay tax etc. I feel really used by her but also guilty that she’s my mum but I feel sad that she never thinks about me or any repercussions it has had in my future finances and opportunities.

She doesn’t even clearly talk to me about anything to do with the property. I don’t even know if it was hers first then she put in my name for tax or first time buyers rate. I just get made to feel unreasonable if I ask any questions. My siblings were there today as well and they made me feel I am causing trouble but also admitted they glad she didn’t put in their name as they would have missed out on first time buyers with their property. I just wa t answers from her but she threatens all sorts.

I’m lying here feeling bad I brought up the topic but why can’t she just have a conversation with me about it. I don’t know what she’s hiding as she gets defensive.

OP posts:
MySecretHistory · 28/07/2021 09:54

Bollocks. It's the person who receives the income who is liable for income tax.

No it isn't. Lots of BTL tried to say there wives were letting it out when the laws changed a few years ago. HMRC thought otherwise.

Sarahlou63 · 28/07/2021 09:55

Just another thought - what's to stop you moving into your house when the current tenancy ends???

korawick12345 · 28/07/2021 09:56

@MySecretHistory

Bollocks. It's the person who receives the income who is liable for income tax.

No it isn't. Lots of BTL tried to say there wives were letting it out when the laws changed a few years ago. HMRC thought otherwise.

And given the money is going into a bank account in the OPs name, i think she would have fun arguing with HMRC that she wasn't receiving the income.
NettleTea · 28/07/2021 09:57

@Faranth

So they are paying the mortgage?

From what OP has said, on paper the mortgage is in OPs name, the tenants are renting from OP, the rent being paid covers the mortgage and everything else, leaving £70pcm.

So on paper OP is paying the mortgage - she's just not seeing any of the £70 profit. For 20 years!!

yes this, plus of course the house will be building in equity and is probably almost at the point when the mortgage will be finished (most are around 25 years)
NettleTea · 28/07/2021 09:58

in addition OP says that SHE has been paying HMRC some money too each year.

I cant believe you are actually out of pocket due to this

LookItsMeAgain · 28/07/2021 09:59

@Fedduup32

Thank you everyone. I agree I think I might need councelling before I decide to do anything. I just feel really upset and alone. She kept saying to me yesterday she made a mistake having me as I always cause trouble. She should have stopped at her 2nd child and not had me.

All my life I’ve felt I’m the “naughty” and bad one in family.

She sounds like such a lovely caring person....NOT!

It can be for your benefit. You need to start contacting the lending institution and getting them to change the address where the statements are sent to, to your address not theirs. Change the address with the bank. The mortgage is in your name - just provide them with a change of address where the mortgage statements are to go to.
Change the address where the rent is to be paid and contact the tenants.
Be pro-active on this not reactive. Once you have taken over these details and the rent is going to you as you're the legal owner of the property, either decide to continue to rent it out but you will need to do an inspection of the property or give your tenants notice and sell.

It can be to your benefit. Then I would cut your parents out of your life as they sound so toxic it is not good to be around either of them or your siblings!

korawick12345 · 28/07/2021 10:01

@NettleTea unless of course it has been remortgaged which is what the static rental return suggests. If it is highly leveraged at this point the OP could be in a world of trouble regarding CGT

Faultymain5 · 28/07/2021 10:01

@NettleTea and others most btl landlords take out interest only mortgages, there is no guarantee the mortgage is anywhere near paid off.

MerryMarigold · 28/07/2021 10:01

OP, why did your parents pick you to do this when you are not the eldest? Are you more easily manipulated? Did your siblings refuse to do it. I imagine you must be approaching 40 if 'you' bought the house 20 years ago.

SarahBop · 28/07/2021 10:04

You DEFINITELY need legal advice. This sounds like very complex financial abuse to be honest.

Your Mum sounds toxic and awful - shouting and controlling you, you know that is not healthy.

Seek legal advice.

TirisfalPumpkin · 28/07/2021 10:05

People who are like 'why would you sign that' are obv not too familiar with controlling family dynamics. They get you so mixed up that you'd sign literally anything for a crumb of kindness and respect.

They also make you feel helpless and like you're not competent or capable enough to get out of the situation - only they can guide you. That's part of the control. The last thing they want you to do is speak to someone outside the dysfunctional system who can see it for what it is.

NettleTea · 28/07/2021 10:05

god yes, I forgot about all those interest only mortgages. Although they may have taken 100% mortgage without a deposit as this is before the 2008 crash and credit was being thrown at people.

SarahBop · 28/07/2021 10:05

@MerryMarigold

OP, why did your parents pick you to do this when you are not the eldest? Are you more easily manipulated? Did your siblings refuse to do it. I imagine you must be approaching 40 if 'you' bought the house 20 years ago.
OP states she is in her 40s now.
mm8989 · 28/07/2021 10:05

when you think about it, they could be taking loans out against the house, over draughts on the accounts etc. Do you check your credit reports OP?

I doubt there is much equity, it's been viewed as an investment, they will have been skimming off it.

MySecretHistory · 28/07/2021 10:06

Do you claim child benefit? Would the rental income (income not profit) put you above the limit?

Penners99 · 28/07/2021 10:06

OP, a land registry search is you first action. It will state who owns the property and what mortgage is attached. Only costs a few quid and is all online

Thewholeshackshimmy · 28/07/2021 10:06

Whatever you decided to do with the property situation it really would be a good idea to look at counselling. I am so sorry you’ve been manipulated by the very people who you should be able to trust 100%. Your parents are not good people and you deserve to live free from any of their manipulative ways. I hope all goes well for you op.

diddl · 28/07/2021 10:07

I think that I'd see if it's possible to get your mane taken off everything re the house & just walk away from it.

toocold54 · 28/07/2021 10:14

I think that I'd see if it's possible to get your mane taken off everything re the house & just walk away from it.

It seems unfair but I’d be tempted to do this too.

MrKlaw · 28/07/2021 10:16

£70pm profit is annoying but not something to lose sleep over. Maybe it was less in previous years, depends on the mortgage and how often it was rented out.

The fact you have to pay HMRC though compounds this. You are paying extra per year and don't get the profit back. You should at least have had enough to offset that cost that you're paying.

If the mortgage is in your name, it should hopefully be nearly done. I'd get a statement to understand how much you have left to pay on it, and then start planning around that. Either to sell and get decent equity to help you upsize your own place, or keep renting it and use the (significantly more than £70 pm) profit to go towards a larger mortgage, again letting you upsize.

Key thing is to work out how to get access to this. Mortgage is in your name but accountants seem to run it day to day. You need to get full control of that. Then make sure the profit comes to you (so once mortgage is paid off the increase comes to you too).

Yes it sounds like you're in a bad place and controlled by your parents. That won't change overnight but try and start to put things in place to change that slowly

MySecretHistory · 28/07/2021 10:17

@toocold54

I think that I'd see if it's possible to get your mane taken off everything re the house & just walk away from it.

It seems unfair but I’d be tempted to do this too.

That wouldn't work

Even if you give away a house you are liable for capital gains tax at the Market value if it is not you main residence. Similarly you cant sell it for a £1

Op- go onto the house buying and selling forum boards of money saving expert forum-you will get advice there.

MySecretHistory · 28/07/2021 10:18

@MrKlaw

£70pm profit is annoying but not something to lose sleep over. Maybe it was less in previous years, depends on the mortgage and how often it was rented out.

The fact you have to pay HMRC though compounds this. You are paying extra per year and don't get the profit back. You should at least have had enough to offset that cost that you're paying.

If the mortgage is in your name, it should hopefully be nearly done. I'd get a statement to understand how much you have left to pay on it, and then start planning around that. Either to sell and get decent equity to help you upsize your own place, or keep renting it and use the (significantly more than £70 pm) profit to go towards a larger mortgage, again letting you upsize.

Key thing is to work out how to get access to this. Mortgage is in your name but accountants seem to run it day to day. You need to get full control of that. Then make sure the profit comes to you (so once mortgage is paid off the increase comes to you too).

Yes it sounds like you're in a bad place and controlled by your parents. That won't change overnight but try and start to put things in place to change that slowly

£70pm profit is annoying but not something to lose sleep over. Maybe it was less in previous years, depends on the mortgage and how often it was rented out.

Tax is due on income not profit. Landlords used to be able to offset mortgage interest payments against rental income, but in 2015 the government announced they were phasing this out. In 2017-18 the tax relief you could claim reduced to 75 per cent. Then in 2019-20 it was only 25 per cent. Now it's gone completely.

Mrgrinch · 28/07/2021 10:19

This is all kinds of wrong.

I'd take the house and cut contact with all of them.

Eddielzzard · 28/07/2021 10:24

WTF!!! Your parents are total shits. Surely this is illegal? They've coerced you into this whole mess and abused you if you dare question anything. I think you need legal advice.

Thevoiceofreason2021 · 28/07/2021 10:26

Cut loose. You don’t need that kind of stress in your life. Sell the flat and split the profit. Go see a solicitor and get some advice. I’m afraid you need to go in to this conversation with your parents fully informed and with a clear plan in place.
Good luck