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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To allow this....

107 replies

Jerima · 27/07/2021 19:49

My dh has taught all the local children how to ride their bikes over the years.

Our DD2 has said she wants to remove one stabiliser and ride like that for a while until she's ready to remove the other. My DH has said no and says she must remove both at once.

I feel she should learn this way if she wants to and feels comfortable that way as I think she should be in control of how she learns to ride her bike. Also she has SEN and even in school does not learn unless she is in control of what and how she learns.

DH says no. He says that children do not learn to ride a bike when they remove one stabiliser as it defys physics.

I have seen many a child over the years with one stabiliser on their bike but because I can't name them or give specific details of when and where DH does not believe that ANY children have gone round on one stabiliser before. He also believes that once you take both stabilisers off the child has to learn to ride on the path or pavement and NOT grass.

So I am asking did any of your DC ride their bikes on one stabiliser at any time during the process of learning to ride on two wheels? Did it defy the laws of physics and did they come to any harm in doing so.

Or did they go straight from stabilisers to learning on two wheels, which I might add, I believe some children do as well.

OP posts:
Original poster
Jerima · 27/07/2021 19:51
  • I believe my DD should learn on one stabiliser if she wants to
OP posts:
HarveySpectorWins · 27/07/2021 19:54

I've never heard of this either. Tbh I can't even see how that works surely he is right how does one stabiliser make it stable 😂Confused

Chikapu · 27/07/2021 19:55

It seems pointless to leave one stabiliser on, she needs to learn to balance to ride properly.

Faranth · 27/07/2021 19:55

I've never seen anyone with one stabiliser - although it may well be a thing.

My worry would be if she's on 2 wheels, and the third touches the ground as she's going along, would she lose control? Like if she went to go round a corner, turning away from the stabiliser she would lean and the stabiliser would lift up, everything would be fine. If she was turning towards the stabiliser she would lean and it would touch the ground and stop her leaning/turning. So she'd carry on straight, which she might not be expecting and she could crash/hit something. With 2 stabilisers it would be an equal effect, so she would be used to steering with the handlebars rather than leaning, so wouldn't be an issue.

Also if she's going fast and it touches the ground unexpectedly it could make her swerve.

Starjammer · 27/07/2021 19:56

One stabiliser seems like it would make things harder?

PerhapsCarriageGreen · 27/07/2021 19:56

Have you considered taking both the stabilisers and the pedals off and making it a balance bike? That worked very well for DD, and lots of others we know.

Aprilx · 27/07/2021 19:57

I think your DH is correct.

PricklesAndSpikes · 27/07/2021 19:58

Taking just one stabiliser off could be dangerous. If it touches the ground / hits a stone, it could tip her off. On this one your husband is correct, two stabilisers or none.

Megasausagehead · 27/07/2021 19:58

One stabiliser would be dangerous.

If he has taught the whole neighbourhood...erm...leave him to it.

Original poster
Jerima · 27/07/2021 19:59

I think she just wants the one on there because it makes her feel a bit safer and the bike still stands up when she stops.

OP posts:
toughdaay · 27/07/2021 20:00

Your DH is right. One stabiliser is not a thing and would make it more unstable if she turned the way of the removed stabiliser. Either take them off or leave them on but messing about with one stabiliser is just madness.

wowbutter · 27/07/2021 20:01

I am a big believer in natural consequences.
Does the one stabilizer actively impact you, or DH?
Nope.
So, let it go. If it doesn't work, she learns that and it comes off.
If it works, she learns that way.

BarberQueue · 27/07/2021 20:01

I would make your life easier and remove the stabilisers and pedals and drop the seat. She'll learn to balance and it will then take her less than half an hour to be cycling once the pedals are put back on. Stabilisers just hinder a child learning to ride a bike.

Notimeforaname · 27/07/2021 20:01

Never heard of using one.. but if she wants to..whats the bloody harm?

BeenThruMoreThanALilBit · 27/07/2021 20:02

I did the one stabiliser thing. Really hurt my crotch Blush. Looking back, it was pointless. It just delayed the inevitable.

Just let your DH crack on. Your DD won’t always be allowed to control how she learns what she learns.

Tal45 · 27/07/2021 20:02

No need to take the pedals off to make it a balance bike, just get her to hold her feet up in the air. That's the best thing, going down a short slope that is flat at the bottom to learn to get her balance. Having one stabiliser on will either be like having two and not make any difference or make it more awkward. It might be worth letting her try that first though even if it's not the best idea just so she can see what it's like if it's what she wants.

toomuchfaster · 27/07/2021 20:02

Your DH is right, 2 or none. You should trust his experience over your (imagined) sightings. If DD needs to be in control, it should be her decision when to go from 2 to none.

Original poster
Jerima · 27/07/2021 20:04

Plus she is also refusing to go anywhere near the bike when there are no stabilisers on.
We have another child who he's taught and I didn't have any involvement in that, he's more than capable and doesn't need my input. It bothered me that DD us upset and insists she wants only one removed and he says no to it.

I feel he should let her do it and discover for herself

OP posts:
noloh1 · 27/07/2021 20:04

I had a friend growing up who’s mum made him ride with one stabiliser and I remember him falling off all the time

DontBuyANewMumCashmere · 27/07/2021 20:05

I don't see how one stabiliser would make it more dangerous or more tippy-overy (technical physics term) than taking both off. She'll have to get used to balance and putting her feet down quickly whether she's falling consistently in one direction or either direction, randomly...

But it's weird to take one off imo - perhaps adjusting both sides so they're higher and she has a bit more movement before the stabiliser support kicks in iykwim?

However, your DH saying having one stabiliser defies physics sounds a bit testerical tbh

YABU, LTB, RTFT etc

LST · 27/07/2021 20:06

Either leave them on until she's ready or remove both. One is pointless and will probably cause more harm that good regarding trying to balance?

AlmostSummer21 · 27/07/2021 20:07

You and your DD will both have to learn that she can't always have things the way she wants them (SN or not).

I'm sorry if that sounds harsh, but sometimes 'No DD, that's not a safe thing to do' has to be understood and respected, better to start with something small like this.

It's not a good idea & it's not safe, both stabilisers on or off. So they stay on until she's ready to try without 💁🏻‍♀️

Can you lower the seat if she can't reach the ground? If she can reach the ground there's no issue is there?

PegasusReturns · 27/07/2021 20:07

It’d be dangerous to remove one.

Better option is to remove stabilisers and pedals and she’ll be whizzing around in no time.

KrisAkabusi · 27/07/2021 20:08

When you cycle with stabilisers you turn the handlebars to steer. When you cycle without them, you learn to lean into turns. You won't be able to do that with one stabiliser on. I can see your husband's point, having one stabiliser won't help her to learn, it will make things harder.

theheartofthematter · 27/07/2021 20:11

I remember having one stabiliser. It helped as a stepping stone. I am now very capable of riding my bike