To ask if a vasectomy is really that bad?

[DrSeuss]

I suspect it is painful and somewhat embarrassing. I should add, it isn’t DH who is making a fuss or playing the victim, he finds the leaflet we have been given as sill as I do. I just want to check that it’s usually pretty straightforward. If you tell me it’s really awful I will take care of him, I promise!
The leaflet says no driving for 48 hours, no lifting heavy things for a week. It seems to suggest that it will be very traumatic.

I have had two children, both pretty easy births but still involving pushing a human out of my fanny while already feeling shit through nine months of working as a teacher while pregnant. As is the modern way, much to my mother’s surprise, I was then expected to look after the baby completely until discharged 24 hrs later. I had it far easier than some and vividly remember seeing a woman stagger down the corridor in the maternity ward with a wheel cot in one hand and a drip stand for her blood transfusion in the other. With baby number 2, I was home a few hour after the birth. The following day I did two loads of washing and the day after that I took my son to school then drove myself and the baby to the supermarket. My husband had to work and we have no family nearby to help. I just had to get on with it. I imagine many women do something similar.
A part of me finds the vasectomy booklet hilarious but another part is annoyed that it suggests men need gentle handling while I and many others just had to crack on.
If you say I am being unfair and that he will be incapacitated then fair enough, he can sit around with an ice pack on his nads or whatever!

Don't the doctors say it only painful if they get their thumbs caught between the two bricks?

YANBU.

FIL had one and said it was fine. Tell your DH it’s fine but don’t wait on him hand and foot! It’s nothing compared to having a baby!

BIL is also planning on having one, and DH will too when we’ve completed our family.

@Bearfrills your DH is lucky you’re so tolerant. I might have lopped off his c**k for good measure when he starting bleating on about “understanding what it was like to have a caesarean”

DH had one 13 years ago. 20 minutes in and out.
Had some complications after it and ended up back in hospital the day after with huge swelling and a suspected testicular torsion. Very painful.

All resolved in a week or two.

As far as I know 99% of vasectomies are done under local anaesthetic and I've never heard of one being done under GA. It's too quick and simple a procedure to justify the risks of a GA when it can be done very effectively under local, or in some cases, twilight anaesthesia (heavier sedation if local isn't cutting it).

My husband seemed fine but I did work with a guy who had to have it done twice as the first one didn't work. I don't know what they did the second time but it seemed pretty traumatic. I guess like most things it varies.

Any surgery has risks. Those precautions after are to prevent pulling a stich and bleeding out. When I had lletz procedure due to smear result I couldn't lift anything or use the hoover for 6 weeks due to the risks.

@DrSeuss

And I don’t expect him to be building a patio or running a marathon. I just find it amusing/ frustrating that women get, “Here’s your baby. Best get busy.”

I was amazed at the care I got after a hysterectomy compared to after a EMCS. The two women in a bay with me were getting wheeled to the bathroom and using a lift thing to get in the bath 2 days after the op. I looked at the nurse like she was crazy when I was offered the same and walked to the bathroom and had a shower.

Hi. My dh had a vasectomy in March and he was ok. It took approx 12 minutes in total and he said the worse bit was actually the iodine that went on to his groin area as he had to shave it completely before hand so it really stung him. He had 10 days off work as he’s a builder so does heavy manual work but by day 7/8 he was feeling more or less back to normal. The day after the procedure his tackle was blue and swollen but he knew to expect that so he wasn’t shocked. I was rather shocked though when he decided to show me lol but within a few days the swelling started to go down. What made me chuckle about the whole thing was the nurse who discharged him and was tasked with giving him the post operative care advice was very young. She told dh rather bluntly that one of the requirements is that he needed to “clear his pipes” and in order to do that he needed to ejaculate at least 20 times from 2 weeks post surgery up until his follow up appointment. Now my dh isn’t
usually the bashful prone to be embarrassed type far from it but the fact this young lady looked like a teenager made him go red in the face lol. Ever since he had the all clear to crack on (literally) he’s been determined as he has his appointment to provide a sperm sample in a weeks time and he’s adamant that he is going to get the all clear first time round. He read online a while back that some men still have swimmers because they haven’t stuck to the advice so yeah he’s been busy lol.

Depends on the bloke suppose. I was in the room while DH had his done and it was... thorough! His Dr removed a long section of vas deferens to prevent future re-joining, lots of lidocaine, missed a spot, DH nearly jumped off the table, meanwhile my pregnant self was trying not to become too queasy at the cauterizing smell filling the room.

It's definitely not comparable to childbirth still looked sore though.

I was very surprised that DP was ok - he's prone to be a bit dramatic at time 🙄

The only things he said was:

• that it was weird with a female nurse talking to him all the way through.

• the first anaesthetic didn't work, he needed 2 more tops up.

• he had a Tommy tank too soon after, I think they are s'pose to wait a week - and he didn't.

He didn't lift our DD who was almost 2 for a week or so later, but this was incase she kicked him in the balls.

Other than that he was fine.

@Shade17

I won’t be having it done due to the risks of complications and long term side effects.

Your body, your choice.

But I judge men like you. Judge you harshly.

I remember my Dad saying to me when I was a teen and having discussions about contraception, that it’s the least a man can do. DH suggested it off his own bat, when we realised our family was done.

Decent men step up.

DH was quite unlucky I think. He was really sore and swollen for about a week. Healed nicely though so it was probably a good thing he suffered a bit, otherwise he’d have been out running etc. ASAP and probably have buggered the healing process.

10% of men have long term pain which is sometimes incurable.

We have talked about it but I don't think it's a good option for dh as he had undescended testicles when he was younger and suffered with a twisted testicle a couple of years ago. I would never forgive myself if he ended up with long term pain which may be quite likely given his history. If he ever wants to I'll support him but I am not pushing it. Bit sad though as I would love not to have to worry about it.

Must have been difficult for Shade to weigh up the risks of a minor procedure for him against the risks to his partner of further pregnancy or hormonal contraception.

As I assume he did, carefully and thoroughly.

@SourAppleChew

10% of men have long term pain which is sometimes incurable.

I have long-term pain - and certainly inconvenience - as a result of getting my period every month.

And that’s ignoring pregnancy (multiple), childbirth (multiple) and then years of peri/menopause to look forward.

Sympathy is slim to nil.

When my DH came home and told me the Doctor had told him to rest up for a week and not to move unless necessary it brought back some lovely memories of shuffling back and forth to breastfeed my newborn while wearing my catheter post childbirth.

As much as it’s a medical procedure and carries risk it really is horrifying to see how differently M&F are treated.

My dh seemed to be ok, if a bit tender. Then we hadn't expected the bruising that then came. But he had been taking arnica.

He did need a few days off work as a plumber as he was advised. Recovery was fine after a week.

DH had it done a few months ago. He drove himself home from his apppintment, spent the evening on the sofa with an ice pack down his pants, and was out playing golf the next day. He winced a few times when one of the kids knocked him in the balls and complained once or twice about one of his stitches feeling a bit tight, but that was it. And if there was ever someone to milk being ‘ill’, it’s DH!

My DH had his a few weeks after birth of our last child. He was on quite a lot of pain and found getting down on floor to do nappies difficult.

I was also becoming increasingly unwell. I went to GP in the afternoon after he had it ( and I’d driven us a 30 min journey back home). Turned out I had a uterus infection. She wanted me back in hospital.

I said gosh I can’t. DH just had the snip and the other kids. She looked at me and said. Hmmm. Not happy but I’m prepared to give it til this evening. If you are getting worse you have to go in.

I pushed on. Meanwhile there is him moaning. I know it’s not a competition but really! I was breastfeeding, caring for newborn, in pain and sweating cos of infection. I had asked him to delay snip as I was feeling unwell. I’m getting quite cross thinking about it. We’ve not discussed it since and I’m sure he’s probably forgotten but it was a shitty time.

He said the discomfort lasted about a year and even now several years on there is a change. Like the bridge has gone whatever that means!

@DrSeuss

From what I understand the vast majority of the time it is fine. However, I have also heard the 10% complication rate and we personally know of two guys that had really bad problems which resulted in weeks off work, lots of drugs and complications for months after.

After that DH decided against having one..and frankly I understood his decision. I suppose I'm lucky as I have a Mirena and get on with it really well so isn't a pressing need but vasectomy isn't the easy answer it is normally suggested ( for everyone anyway)

Even my husband will agree it’s easy. My husband has his done privately, went for the first appointment, back two weeks later in the doctor’s rooms for the vasectomy. I dropped him off, walked the children up the street to a cafe for a cup of tea and cake for half an hour, then walked back to collect him.

He was in for about 45 minutes total and basically was told “hold here”, then doctor did his work. My husband also went out that night for a few drinks (Friday) and was back at work Monday. He didn’t do anything strenuous for the next week or so (no gym), but was able to drive and go to work. He said it wasn’t really painful at all, but he did bruise a fair bit.

I guess everyone is different, but generally it’s not that big a deal.

The good stories are all well and good, if it goes like those then fine. Listen to the bad stories and think that it could be like that, because once it's done and it's not gone well, that's what you have to deal with.

Dh offered to get his done, took himself off and it went ok, then had a terrible infection and was off work for 2 weeks. Pretty grim and he doesn't make a fuss.