To ask if a vasectomy is really that bad?

[DrSeuss]

I suspect it is painful and somewhat embarrassing. I should add, it isn’t DH who is making a fuss or playing the victim, he finds the leaflet we have been given as sill as I do. I just want to check that it’s usually pretty straightforward. If you tell me it’s really awful I will take care of him, I promise!
The leaflet says no driving for 48 hours, no lifting heavy things for a week. It seems to suggest that it will be very traumatic.

I have had two children, both pretty easy births but still involving pushing a human out of my fanny while already feeling shit through nine months of working as a teacher while pregnant. As is the modern way, much to my mother’s surprise, I was then expected to look after the baby completely until discharged 24 hrs later. I had it far easier than some and vividly remember seeing a woman stagger down the corridor in the maternity ward with a wheel cot in one hand and a drip stand for her blood transfusion in the other. With baby number 2, I was home a few hour after the birth. The following day I did two loads of washing and the day after that I took my son to school then drove myself and the baby to the supermarket. My husband had to work and we have no family nearby to help. I just had to get on with it. I imagine many women do something similar.
A part of me finds the vasectomy booklet hilarious but another part is annoyed that it suggests men need gentle handling while I and many others just had to crack on.
If you say I am being unfair and that he will be incapacitated then fair enough, he can sit around with an ice pack on his nads or whatever!

Had it done under a local 20+ years ago - honestly I've had worse visits to the dentist - it amused me that you know when they are going to do the snip when they suddenly start talking to you a lot asking lots of questions to distract you. Couple of days to heal. Years after I think I did see an article saying there was an increased risk of testicular cancer. Check that out - I think the increased risk tiny.

I think for the vast majority its fine.

I can stand exh, but have to admit his was bad and he had complications afterwards. He would get pains years later. Not sure about now as we don't speak.

I think there is the general consensus that post providers problems are under reported. But massive complications are rare.

Glad to hear that it usually goes well. MIL doesn’t know or would be on the phone hourly to check on her poor darling. After the birth of our first child, she told me how worried she was about my husband’s stress levels and was most affronted when I pointed out that the one who just gave birth, was now breast feeding round the clock and getting over mastitis was possibly deserving of some sympathy!

I think you need to be sympathetic to a degree unless you think he's milking it. Presumably you knew what you would have to do in your situation when you had two kids with no help. The whole 'I just had to get on with it' and therefore by implication everyone else should too is a bit grating.

I remember my dad having his, he bled like mad (he always does with everything) so he had to stay in overnight, but apart from that and feeling sore, he was OK. My mum was heavily pregnant and as soon as he was discharged he was back at work and doing DIY.

And I don’t expect him to be building a patio or running a marathon. I just find it amusing/ frustrating that women get, “Here’s your baby. Best get busy.”

Took me a week to recover, as in it was tender for about a week. I still went to work but I couldn't have done any strenuous activity.

It is a minor ‘operation’ and the vast majority of men walk out of the clinic and go about their daily lives.

However the claxon has sounded and the usual suspects will very soon be along to caution all men against ever having this procedure as for a tiny minority of men, it can go wrong.

DH had his on a Friday, went to watch a rugby game on the Saturday, took a wrong turn with his mates coming home and had to scale an 8 foot fence. All fine.

To be fair no leaflet on childbirth recommends doing housework or going shopping the day afterwards. It’s just the reality for many women and I guess this is similar. Best to know in advance you might feel sore and uncomfortable for up to a week or so?

A significant minority of men do suffer chronic pain post vasectomy and that is worth considering.

Had it about two month ago and it's absolutely nothing.

Stung for about 6 hours and was fine the day after but the no sex after was the most painful part

My dh was fine, local anaesthetic.
My bil would have been fine but for some reason thought he would dig the garden next day. Apparently he was in a lot of pain afterwards.

I posted on here when my husband had the vasectomy and he did an 'ill voice' afterwards.

It was on that thread that the "dressing gown of doom" was born after it turns out many husbands are the same.

My husband slept for a solid 24 hours afterwards as though he had been through the war and said "the first 72 hours are critical!"

He meant, he can't move much in case the tubes re-attached themselves, but the drama!

My husbands wasn't straight forward as the tubes were 'deeper' than usual and hard to find so the doctor had to furtle about a fair bit so he had extra numbing, but he was sore that night and the following day but he was fine.

I won’t be having it done due to the risks of complications and long term side effects.

DH has had one and he was fine. The only thing he really didn't like was the anaesthetic injection and having to shave his balls. He felt a bit sorry for himself for a day or so but he was absolutely fine after that. He did have to take 2 weeks off work as his job is really physical. Had he still been office based he'd of been back much, much sooner.

DH had one, upstairs in the GP, walked downstairs afterwards

We went to the supermarket that afternoon (I did drive - they give them diazapam first so someone else had to drive home - I figured that lasted 24 hours)

Went to a funeral the following day - only thing he said was his suit trousers felt a lot tighter than normal.

Was back to normal, just a bit achy the day after that

Dh has his, he drove there. Got it done, we went shopping, he drove home and went to work the next day.

I think the bit he felt the worse about was seeing the size of the guys hands who was doing it and smelling the burning pipes. I watched, pretty quick and didn’t look all that bad.

I had mine done 15 years ago under a local at the doctors surgery.
Went for a beer afterwards and put a bag of ice on my lap, went bowling same night and no problems.
Apart from bruising and a slight ache there were no complications. It's still not guaranteed to work and not safe to have unprotected sex until they test you after two to three months.

DP had one eight weeks ago. Local anaesthetic, no stitches. He got the train home after. No heavy lifting for a while just to be on the safe side.

He was a bit sore for a week or so. No other side effects.

My hubby had one 3 years ago and had a week off work (physical job) and had some pain. He occasionally gets pain now and needed antibiotics for pain and swelling in the area a few months ago 😬

DH had his a couple of years ago, walked out 1/2 hour later with a bit of a wide step , and a few grumbles over the following 48 hours was back at work next day in his manual job. However I will add it didn’t work, 🙈 I had Dc4 after and another shock pregnancy last year after reassurance that it was because we didn’t wait long enough with Dc4. After delays from Covid he is having the procedure again in September under general anaesthetic this time. He had a few issues, swelling, lumps & pain but GP dismissed him each time. Tests showed it never worked😓.

DH had his here in Canada where the no needle no scalpel technique is standard of care. The old “10% rate of complications” really doesn’t apply to the modern way of doing it. If you have the option of paying extra for this, go for it.
He was tender for a day and wore compression shorts for a week. His workplace put him on light duties for 10 days but he felt he could have returned at full power after 2.

No issues for DH, although it probably took a little longer than normal, as the doctor let me in to watch and talked me through what he was doing

DH was fine after his. Bit achey but fine. Had it Saturday morning, back at work on Monday.

DH had his done after an unplanned DC4 who pretty much broke me thanks to nine months of HG, bed redt and hospital stay due to unstable transverse lie, caesarean, sepsis, secondary haemorrhage. They were bringing students into my room to show me off as a cautionary tale so there were no quibbles whatsoever about him getting snipped.

He said it smelled like the world's worst barbecue when they burned the ends of the tubes to seal them but aside from that it was okay. As soon as he got home the sick voice came out alongside the Dressing Gown of Doom and the Saggy Jogging Bottoms of Sadness. He also did the slow shuffling round in slippers wincing mournfully if anyone even looked at him.

I indulged him for the first day or two and then he said it.... He said "I know how you feel now after having your caesareans" in a totally serious voice and he meant it too. Because an 8mm incision that didn't even need stitches is exactly the same as major abdominal surgery, isn't it? Then he got a very minor skin infection, needed antibiotic cream for a few days, and said (in between feeling sorry for himself) "this must be how it felt to have sepsis"

So TL:DR, its the best thing he ever did, neither of us has any regrets and it's brilliant knowing there will be no more babies but if your DH is the type who falls to pieces when he is ill then you will be ready to dropkick him by the time he recovers.