As a teenager/young person I was homeless, as in sleeping rough and living in squats homeless. This was from when I was 17 until I was 23. I also had an addiction. I was given a puppy when I was 18, who grew up to be a large dog and was my absolute rock and best friend.
At 23 I found out I was pregnant, extremely unexpectedly. I went into detox/rehab (baby's father looked after the dog) and then was given a small studio flat at 8 months pregnant (would have been housed sooner but I refused to go anywhere like a hostel where I couldn't take my dog). However, my dog struggled to adjust to living in a house or being left alone. I had no money for behavioural support, I had a c section and a new baby and no partner because he refused to give up drinking and drugs so I wouldn't let him live with us. I couldn't ever leave the dog alone as his separation anxiety was so bad, he literally chewed through doors and the neighbours complained about him howling. He would piss and shit on my bed and the babies bed if we even went in the garden or out to the bins without him. I was told I would lose my flat if there were any more complaints about him howling. I managed for a year to never leave him alone, but then it just got too much. I had PND and just couldn't manage. I rehomed him to an old friend (who already had one dog from the same litter) who was going to live on a farming commune in Scotland, who I knew could give him a good life. It was the hardest thing I've done, harder even than detox. I cry about it even now. This was back in 2002 so pre smart phones etc so I would get the odd phone call update but no photos. I missed him more than I can even begin to explain but at the time I simply didn't have the resources to manage his needs as well as everything else I had going on.
Anyway that was 18 years ago. I'm now mid 40s with a long term partner, we have two younger children (8 and 12), my first child has left for uni (I couldn't be prouder), and I run my own business and we own our home. The time is right for us as a family to get a dog and my children living at home are extremely keen.
I mentioned it on FB last week and had a couple of 'friends' (people I've known a long time but don't really see any more tbh) make quite nasty comments saying i shouldn't get another dog after giving mine up. But I feel like things are SO different now. If I had had the money and my own house and the emotional resources then that I have now, I could have kept him! But then I saw a post on MN today saying basically the same things about a similar situation and I'm questioning myself... Should I really never have a dog again? 