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Original poster

To want to get another dog even though I rehomed my first dog??

106 replies

TinkyWinkyGwerth · 26/07/2021 15:57

As a teenager/young person I was homeless, as in sleeping rough and living in squats homeless. This was from when I was 17 until I was 23. I also had an addiction. I was given a puppy when I was 18, who grew up to be a large dog and was my absolute rock and best friend.

At 23 I found out I was pregnant, extremely unexpectedly. I went into detox/rehab (baby's father looked after the dog) and then was given a small studio flat at 8 months pregnant (would have been housed sooner but I refused to go anywhere like a hostel where I couldn't take my dog). However, my dog struggled to adjust to living in a house or being left alone. I had no money for behavioural support, I had a c section and a new baby and no partner because he refused to give up drinking and drugs so I wouldn't let him live with us. I couldn't ever leave the dog alone as his separation anxiety was so bad, he literally chewed through doors and the neighbours complained about him howling. He would piss and shit on my bed and the babies bed if we even went in the garden or out to the bins without him. I was told I would lose my flat if there were any more complaints about him howling. I managed for a year to never leave him alone, but then it just got too much. I had PND and just couldn't manage. I rehomed him to an old friend (who already had one dog from the same litter) who was going to live on a farming commune in Scotland, who I knew could give him a good life. It was the hardest thing I've done, harder even than detox. I cry about it even now. This was back in 2002 so pre smart phones etc so I would get the odd phone call update but no photos. I missed him more than I can even begin to explain but at the time I simply didn't have the resources to manage his needs as well as everything else I had going on.

Anyway that was 18 years ago. I'm now mid 40s with a long term partner, we have two younger children (8 and 12), my first child has left for uni (I couldn't be prouder), and I run my own business and we own our home. The time is right for us as a family to get a dog and my children living at home are extremely keen.

I mentioned it on FB last week and had a couple of 'friends' (people I've known a long time but don't really see any more tbh) make quite nasty comments saying i shouldn't get another dog after giving mine up. But I feel like things are SO different now. If I had had the money and my own house and the emotional resources then that I have now, I could have kept him! But then I saw a post on MN today saying basically the same things about a similar situation and I'm questioning myself... Should I really never have a dog again? Sad

OP posts:
HyacynthBucket · 26/07/2021 16:20

You did your very best for your dog, OP and let him go with love and concern for him rather than for your own feelings. That shows how good a person you are, and after 18 years you deserve another dog. Your life is so different now, go for it! And 'unfriend' those people. Hope you will be really happy with your new dog.

PennyDreadful66 · 26/07/2021 16:21

When I saw the title I thought you rehomed one earlier this year and for no good reason but obviously isn't the case, of course you should get another dog. You seem lovely op and I'm sure the dog would be in very good hands. Well done for transforming your life x

MissingEveryoneSoMuch · 26/07/2021 16:22

Wow your life has changed so much, you must have worked hard to get to where you are! I’m sure any new dog would be lucky to have you.

Forestdweller11 · 26/07/2021 16:24

Another one saying get the dog block the 'friends'

chunderwunder · 26/07/2021 16:31

Your friends are doggy doolally. Do they also think anyone who terminates a pregnancy must never have a baby in the future?

DeathByWalkies · 26/07/2021 16:31

You're in a completely different place now, and it sounds like history is highly unlikely to repeat itself.

Go for it.

Sn0tnose · 26/07/2021 16:31

You sound like a perfectly responsible animal owner to me. You did the most responsible thing you could do at the time, putting the welfare of your dog before your own feelings. And your circumstances now are completely different.

I think your friends are being really bloody unfair.

bloodywhitecat · 26/07/2021 16:32

You absolutely should have a dog, and you should be very proud of your life story, you are an inspiration.

muddyford · 26/07/2021 16:32

I do home assessments and interviews of potential owners for a rescue dog charity. Someone explaining their past difficulties, in the way you have here, would have no problem getting the tick in the box to have a dog at this different stage in their life. You found him an appropriate home and obviously loved him very much. Have a dog and drop Facebook.

Leftbutcameback · 26/07/2021 16:33

You previously made a decision in the right interests of the dog and your family, in extremely tough circumstances. Ones I can’t even imagine. If you can now give a dog that needs a home a loving family then that’s a real success story. God knows there are enough of them that need good homes. Good luck finding your new furry family member!

nocturnalcatfreetogoodhome · 26/07/2021 16:37

You rehomed your pet to a safer environment where they were more comfortable. You did all you could. You didn’t tie him up in a forest and leave him, you didn’t give him up when you found out when you were pregnant.

You tried and you failed but you recognised the need to put his welfare first.

It has been twenty years, you’re a different person, it’s a different life. You deserve to forgive yourself and have another dog.

godmum56 · 26/07/2021 16:37

Of course you should have a dog BUT please be careful where you get it from. Many of the rescues who bring dogs in from Europe just go out and trap feral dogs and ship them over by the van load. they arrive here terrified, often unwell and full of parasites and can be dangerous.

CatherineAragon · 26/07/2021 16:37

It sounds as though you still haven’t forgiven yourself for a completely understandable decision a long time ago when you were really struggling. Of course you should get a dog now. You sound like you would be a very loving responsible owner .

DishingOutDone · 26/07/2021 16:38

18 years ago? Why are you even asking? If these friends have got into your head that much then delete them.

Dazzylazzy · 26/07/2021 16:38

I was about to say no as I am very much against the attitude of I’ll get rid of this one and then oh look a cute puppy. However that was not your circumstances at all. You sound like you would be a good owner and you have a far more stable life now. We’ll done for turning it all around I hope you find a dog to suit you. Also I agree with several pp perhaps re-home the ‘friends’.

MirandaMarple · 26/07/2021 16:39

You sound like you are very caring and would give a dog a lovely home.

MiamiPants · 26/07/2021 16:40

I can't think of anyone who is more suited to rescuing a dog.

You sound like even in your darkest of days you gave your previous dog the best possible. Even when that hurt you.

Any dog will be lucky to have you. Ignore your "friends". There are so many animals needing loving families, and my heart is warmed when I know there are people out there who will give them. X

And yes - please post back here when you get a dog!

Hugoslavia · 26/07/2021 16:41

I think that you know the answer to this. Of course it's a yes!! You obviously have masses of love to give a dog and the timing is right.

Needapoodle · 26/07/2021 16:42

You did what you needed to do for the good of yourself, your baby and your dog. Your circumstances are completely different now. Please let go of any guilt you feel about the other dog. You undoubtedly did the right thing at the time.

Ourlady · 26/07/2021 16:45

Take no notice of your so called friends. You tried really hard to keep your dog all those years ago but sensibly realised you could not give it what it needed so you done the right thing and rehomed.
Get a dog and enjoy him/her. You sound like you will be a loving owner.

REP22 · 26/07/2021 16:52

A dog would be lucky to have you as its owner.

As hard as it was in your earlier days, you did right by your previous dog. You didn't harm him; you took active steps to make sure that he was loved and cared for and did not end his life needlessly because you had other issues going on at the time.

I know how heavy guilt like this can tear into you, but please know that you did right by your old friend; you might even have prolonged his life by sharing him with your friend in Scotland. Please don't torment yourself. You did not let him down.

Ignore the mean comments on FB. From what you say, those people don't know the you that you are today. If it was me, I might be inclined to block them; because people reminding you about things that happened years ago, which they must know are distressing to you, are not people I'd want around, but maybe they are nice in other ways...

Getting through detox is amazing in and of itself, quite apart from all the other things you have achieved. I wish you every happiness for the future, hopefully including dog(s). x

Theimpossiblegirl · 26/07/2021 16:52

Oh my goodness, this is a completely different situation. By rehoming another dog you can always say you're putting it right, but there's no need. Ignore the negative people.

TheSoapyFrog · 26/07/2021 16:54

You should definitely get a dog. 18 years ago was a whole different set of circumstances and doesn't reflect on you now. Ditch those 'friends' though.

notanothertakeaway · 26/07/2021 16:54

You're in a totally different place now. Go and get a dog!

KormasABitch · 26/07/2021 16:55

Pay no attention to arseholes.

Enjoy your dog! You will give it a wonderful home. May it bring you all the happiness you deserve. Flowers