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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Putting my 8 year old dog to sleep....

139 replies

loubbyloob · 26/07/2021 15:08

2 years ago we got Sam from the kennels.
He has been badly abused by his last owners (burns to his skin,matted fur etc )
After a few weeks he snarled at me and showed his teeth.
The week after he bit me (when I went to kiss boyfriend )
I think he thought I was going to hurt bf.
He is a nervous wreck,jumps at any noise,won't let us stroke him.
We have had 3 bites In two years and needed antibiotics.
We have no kids so there's no risk there.

He will only sleep in our bedroom.
Otherwise he howls all night long.
We bought him a single bed so he wouldn't jump on ours.
The last two weeks we go to bed at 11pm and he spends 4 hours just staring at snarling (there's nothing there)
Jumping as if someone is there and barking.
He won't settle.
We are shattered all the time.
He finally falls to sleep at around 3am

My boyfriend wants to put him to sleep.
I don't.
I want him to have a nice life.
I rang vets and booked in next week.
They recommended herbal calming tablets.
I've ordered them.

Any ideas why he is doing this ?
Is he seeing things?
Does he have PTSD?
He is so unpredictable and we can't stroke him or let him kiss us because he just flips.

OP posts:

FeatheredHope · 26/07/2021 15:09

Have you spoken to the rescue you got him from?

HirplesWithHaggis · 26/07/2021 15:10

You need a dog behaviourist.

LaurieFairyCake · 26/07/2021 15:10

There's been a change in last two weeks though with the night time snarling ?

Pain? Something wrong ?

Original poster

loubbyloob · 26/07/2021 15:11

It was a council kennel so they would be no help I don't think.
He is fine during the day.
It's only between 11pm-3am then he stops

OP posts:

FeatheredHope · 26/07/2021 15:12

Has he had a recent thorough health check from a vet?

movingadviceneeded · 26/07/2021 15:12

So apart from the snarling, what serious life threatening illness does he have which would lead a vet to want to put him to sleep?

Roundearth · 26/07/2021 15:13

is it the dark? have you tried him with a night light or does he just not sleep if lights are on too?

Original poster

loubbyloob · 26/07/2021 15:13

My boyfriend is worried how aggressive he can be.
Hence the bites and diving to bite.

OP posts:

Cocomarine · 26/07/2021 15:13

What have you tried in the last 2 years?
No point people suggesting things you haven’t tried already - have you really not had calming tablets suggested before?
There’s a pet section on here that might be a better place for this.

Original poster

loubbyloob · 26/07/2021 15:14

He hasn't been to the vets in a few months.
We got an apt in a few days
We sleep with the light on for him.

OP posts:

Original poster

loubbyloob · 26/07/2021 15:15

We haven't tried anything as it's just a recent thing (the night episodes )
We tried rewarding him with treats etc to help the aggression /biting

OP posts:

PieceOfString · 26/07/2021 15:15

Dogs don't kiss, puppies lick parents mouths to get them to regurgitate food, so adult dogs retain this behaviour (licking the mouth) as a bonding submissive thing. Likely with an abusive past a submissive act like that would be triggering.
I agree a dog behaviourist who is experienced with traumatised dogs is a good idea if you want to salvage him.
Does your dp give him hostile vibes given his views or is he kind and gentle but just not seeing a way forward with him?

Viviennemary · 26/07/2021 15:15

Re-home him. Some dog lovers like a challenge.

pepsicolagirl · 26/07/2021 15:20

you obviously love him very much (as does your DP) and I think he has been very lucky to have found you both.

Whatever you decide to do next I am sure will be a decision made out of love and as such you should not feel guilty.

My Mums dog was a bit like this and it turned out that she had CCD which is basically dog Alzheimer's as I understand it. She did have some sort of pills for a while but ultimately my Mum didn't want to her to suffer any longer when it became apparent that she was so afraid most of the time x

user1477391263 · 26/07/2021 15:21

I would PTS, but then I don't really get the point of a "pet" that just makes everyone's lives miserable, to be honest.

Blackbutler86 · 26/07/2021 15:21

Have you done any obedience training with him? A nervous dog needs someone to give him rules and guidance, people often make the mistake of fussing and food treating nervous/aggressive dogs thus reinforcing the behaviour as the dog thinks it’s doing the right thing. Definitely get a behaviourist to help you, or send him to a good residential training programme who will help him and then help you continue the work.

Roundearth · 26/07/2021 15:22

what breed is he as some are more prone neuro to issues than others ?

Stickytreacle · 26/07/2021 15:24

A vet doesn't need to see a life threatening illness in order to euthanise, animals are put down every day for many issues besides physical health, (mental health, behavioural issues, lack of finances of owner, homelesness etc etc.)
In your shoes OP I'd get a health check initally, eyesight or pain issues need checking out; (one of mine has epilepsy and can behave like this after a seizure) see if a behaviorist has any suggestions, but if neither are successful then euthanasia may be the kindest option if your dog is stressed. I wouldn't jump to euthanise without trying to find out what the issue is though,

Cocomarine · 26/07/2021 15:24

@loubbyloob

We haven't tried anything as it's just a recent thing (the night episodes ) We tried rewarding him with treats etc to help the aggression /biting

I’m confused by what in your OP has been going on for 2 years, and what 2 weeks, then?

The biting, snarking, nervous wreck… is that ALL recent? In which case it’s a bit shit to leap to putting him down!

If some of it has been since you got him, he’s long overdue help with a behaviourist.

thereisonlyoneofme · 26/07/2021 15:29

The staring at nothing would suggest the start of dementia although at 8 he is a bit young, This was what happened with my dog.

RVN123 · 26/07/2021 15:30

Hi, has your vet done a full physical exam to rule out undiagnosed pain or disease?

If no physical reason is forthcoming for his behaviour, would you be willing to see a qualified animal behaviourist? Your vet should be able to recommend someone, perhaps even one of the nurses has extra behaviour qualifications as they have at my practice.

I know some people would be disgusted at having an otherwise healthy animal euthanised but some behaviour problems are insurmountable and even with a behaviourist on board, cannot be overcome, If the dog is a danger to yourself or others (children etc) then sometimes PTS is the only option, assuming you have exhausted every other avenue available to you.
For a PP, the dog does not need to have a serious life threatening illness in order to be euthanised. If the vet agrees his behaviour has become a danger to people they will PTS (assuming all other causes have been explored).

Theluggage15 · 26/07/2021 15:32

The snarling at nothing could be a sign of dementia. Vet can do a thorough health check and hopefully be able to help.

SoupDragon · 26/07/2021 15:35

@HirplesWithHaggis

You need a dog behaviourist.

I agree.

SnackSizeRaisin · 26/07/2021 15:38

So apart from the snarling, what serious life threatening illness does he have which would lead a vet to want to put him to sleep
Stupid comment. No vet would refuse to put down a dog that is aggressive towards its owners.
There's nothing wrong with having the dog put to sleep - the issues are not your fault. And there's a risk to your safety if you keep him
If you want to try, start with a full physical health check at the vet - it could be pain from arthritis is part of the problem. If no physical issues then you could ask for referral to a behaviourist. But that will cost £££. Herbal tablets are unlikely to be the answer for a problem this severe.

suggestionsplease1 · 26/07/2021 15:39

I think firstly you need to train him so he sleeps somewhere other your bedroom as that does not sound safe. The howling sounds like separation anxiety - most dogs can be trained out of that with some patience and following the correct steps.

I think evening time usually is the worst for a dog that struggles with behaviour or has temperament issues as tiredness exacerbates these, so you should probably be aiming to get him out for an evening walk and then into his own space if possible for maybe 9ish.

The light being on will not help him sleep either.

There are lots of things that can be tried in the first instance to help manage and address behaviour, and there are also medications like human antidepressants - eg prozac, that work well for some dogs with nervouse temperaments. So there are lots of things that can be done first before PTS, but you need to keep everyone safe in the meantime and take steps with a behaviourist I think.

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