Putting my 8 year old dog to sleep....

[loubbyloob]

2 years ago we got Sam from the kennels.
He has been badly abused by his last owners (burns to his skin,matted fur etc )
After a few weeks he snarled at me and showed his teeth.
The week after he bit me (when I went to kiss boyfriend )
I think he thought I was going to hurt bf.
He is a nervous wreck,jumps at any noise,won't let us stroke him.
We have had 3 bites In two years and needed antibiotics.
We have no kids so there's no risk there.

He will only sleep in our bedroom.
Otherwise he howls all night long.
We bought him a single bed so he wouldn't jump on ours.
The last two weeks we go to bed at 11pm and he spends 4 hours just staring at snarling (there's nothing there)
Jumping as if someone is there and barking.
He won't settle.
We are shattered all the time.
He finally falls to sleep at around 3am

My boyfriend wants to put him to sleep.
I don't.
I want him to have a nice life.
I rang vets and booked in next week.
They recommended herbal calming tablets.
I've ordered them.

Any ideas why he is doing this ?
Is he seeing things?
Does he have PTSD?
He is so unpredictable and we can't stroke him or let him kiss us because he just flips.

I be ditching the boyfriend before the dog!! At least get him a dog behaviourist before condemning him to death’s row !!

@Needapoodle

It's so odd on Mumsnet some posters make it sound like there are people falling over themselves to give a home to unwanted aggressive dogs with a history of biting. There are far more dogs needing homes, than there are people who can provide the kind of extremely experienced, knowledgeable quiet home that this dog would need. Even dogs that have never bitten anyone. The chances of finding such a home are very slim indeed and just passing the problem on. Unless the ones that are telling the op she should never get another dog are willing to take in this dog?

This exactly. The OP is doing her best

Don’t know if this is visible on a small screen but will try.

@user1477391263 animal lover of the year hey ? Thank god we aren’t all like you disposing of things that don’t fit the mould !!

@DanniDuck another animal lover hey!! Animals aren’t there just for your needs of having a cute pet etc ! You obviously don’t understand this!!

@DanniDuck only gullible one here is you !! You think that you can take on an animal and have it behave exactly as you want it to. No mess, no hassle , no bother there to behave as you wish ! Your attitude stinks!! Put it a poor animal to sleep as it’s too much hassle , my god what an attitude !!

I would echo what others have said to start with a full vet check including bloods to rule out a physical cause for this. He already has an increased awareness of pain, he already knows that people are unkind (not necessarily you!), and he knows that biting is self-preservation.
Beyond that ask the vet to recommend a good behaviourist, or speak to the Dog's Trust or similar and ask their recommendations. I highly doubt any rescue would take him on (and it'd be disastrous for him tbh) but most are happy to offer some advice.
Keep a diary - what is the behaviour? What led up to it? What did he do afterwards? This will help you work out some patterns.
The fact he won't sleep anywhere but with you is good in one respect - he sees you as safe. Build on this with the behaviourist. Plenty of routine, exercise, safe space when he's eating and sleeping. I would avoid trying to get too close to him especially things like kissing which can feel very threatening. With the help of the behaviourist work out where he IS happy for you to touch and then gradually build from there.
If after this he's still not improving then for his sake PTS may be a kinder option - there are worse things than a good death and he has sadly already experienced that.

It's so odd on Mumsnet some posters make it sound like there are people falling over themselves to give a home to unwanted aggressive dogs with a history of biting.

There’s lots of people who would take on a dog with a history of biting. Every dog has the potential to bite so it would be naive to say I’d only have a dog that didn’t bite as it could bite any day.

Most of the time dogs behaves like this for a reason - it could be ill, the house could be making it anxious or it could have something mentally wrong with it but OP hasn’t tried many solutions so the best thing to do would be give it to someone experienced and see how it gets on there. Not do nothing and then kill it because it’s not doing what you want.

My sister had an aggressive dog and she tried to get it put down but the vet refused and ended up giving it to a family member who wasn’t even a behaviourist. And the dog was completely different as soon as it went into a new home. I believe OP loves the dog but doesn’t have the best home situation so it’s worth seeing if any rescues with take it and rehabilitate it.

Why they tolerate it just baffles me. What are people trying to prove by keeping this animal that brings them and their family so much misery and hassle, and costs them so much money???

I hope you don’t have kids as most children are hassle and hard work and cost money. You don’t put them up for adoption because you chose to have them so you have to put a bit of effort in with them.

My rescued dog shows occasional signs of aggression towards my very large 15 yr old son. My ds tends to spend a lot of time in his bedroom then run at full speed down the stairs. The dog is now 8 yrs old and has been with us for 7yrs but still gets startled by him and will growl , show his teeth etc even when he knows it's him .
It's an unpopular view on MN but the dog behaviorist we used advised us not to allow him on the furniture and that has made a significant difference. My son has had to try and calm down in the house but will also stand calmly and talk to the dog in a bizarre sort of face off.This always ends with the dog giving him a toy.
Good luck with your decision, it's such a shame that dogs are damaged in this way.

DanniDuck and the others who share their option are heartless.

I'm sorry you're going through this OP. I think your boyfriend is a prick. A veterinary behaviourist would be able to help I think. But it's best to see the vet first to rule out dementia or something physical. You dog is obviously traumatised, and I feel very sorry for him. Please explore every avenue possible before making the very final decision to PTS.

It shouldn't have been going on for 2 years, it should have been dealt with a lot earlier but I'm glad you're finally making some plans to change whatever is making your dog, and in turn you so stressed out.

Best of luck.

@DanniDuck You should be the one who doesn't have pets because god forbid if your dogs were like this what you would do to them. The dog was abused, the chances are that when the woman rescued the dog she'd have known that she had issues to tackle with the dog, if anything it's lack of training on her part. All of the issues that she is having in regards to the dog could've been prevented with training. Dogs aren't only there to enhance our lives, I have a dog that has issues but I wouldn't get rid of the dog because of it and that's not me trying to prove a point and not get rid of it because of what other people would think, it's because I committed to that dog for it's life just because he isn't what I was 'expecting' doesn't mean that it has to go or be PTS. This is something that you have to work on and that's the risk of getting a dog. IF your dog got attacked when it was 1 and it then had problems because of that, would you then get rid of the dog, would you then consider PTS? I'd hope not, you would spend your time working on how to make the dog better. Dogs are literally for life or for the rest of their life, if you aren't prepared to put in the work with a dog who could potentially have issues then you shouldn't get a dog because you never know what issues may arise whether it's a rescue dog or you never really know what personality your getting with a puppy either, you don't just get rid of the dog. Just because her dog is 8 years old doesn't mean that it can't be trained out of the behaviour it's showing, if anything she should've started training it the moment it got home or the moment it was showing aggression 2 years ago. A lot of the problems people face is the lack of training on their part, it has nothing to do with the dog.

I think some people being unnecessarily harsh to you OP, the usual shit from mumsnet. Not a lot of people are equipped to deal with a dog with lots of issues, you're trying and you want the best for your dog which is clear from your posts.
Please update us on how it goes in the vets, I really feel for both you and the poor dog too, you're trying to give him a nice life after the shit start he's had. I hope you find a solution and there is a happy ending to this story

What part of the country are you in? Perhaps someone can recommend someone.

My vet offers a Valium type equivalent to relax the dog and break the cycle of fear. He could have old injuries that cause him pain. Teeth also. He needs a full MOT and perhaps a mild sedative for a time

Il just add I'm in the UK
Any stray dogs if not claimed after 7 days are up for adoption.
We knew nothing about him all they told us was he was found abandoned in a park.
They didn't mention his aggressiveness we found that out ourselves.
They also didn't tell us he had been taken back to them twice for being aggressive.
We found this out after ringing the lady after a week.

I've never had to deal with an aggressive dog so of course I feel out of my depth.

Any dog I have I love with all my heart.
They want for nothing.
Spoilt rotten,lots of toys,food

I've bought Sam a bed to sleep on in our room.
He has so many toys.
I buy him a present every week.
I've bought a coat for the winter (he won't let me put it on)
I love him,I just haven't known how to help him.

The vets is booked and I'm going to ask for help.
I was stupid thinking eventually with love and spending time with me he would realise he is loved and safe.

@loubbyloob please don't feel too bad. It took ages with our street dog for trust to build, and training is extremely difficult with a traumatised distressed dog. We're only getting around to basic training now and our dog is always on a long lead (had him 2.5 years), and this is with advice from a behaviourist not to overwhelm him with too much and to focus on building the relationship. Classes were a bust, even though he's very clever, as he was terrified. He's not treat or toy motivated so it's challenging.

Definitely speak to a vet about medication - anti anxiety meds etc that might make all of the difference.

Put it a poor animal to sleep as it’s too much hassle , my god what an attitude !!

Or because it's a biter. That's a bit more serious than just hassle.

OP do you have pet insurance? As some cover behaviourists costs so it’s worth having a look.

It’s obvious you love him but he either has something wrong with him or it’s just not the right home. He may need a farm or somewhere where he can just roam around or work and get his affection that way and not be the type of dog that is stroked and cuddled often like most dogs like.

I have a very large, muscular street dog and I had no idea about her history or breed as she was a stray. Luckily she has the most amazing temperament but I knew taking her on that if she had any anxiety or aggression I wouldn’t have been able to cope so I would have had to give her back.
It’s not about being a failure or giving up it’s just about what’s doing what’s best for the dog.

Contact Dr. Charlie Edmonds!!!!!

Once more for the cheap seats in the back, you have a dog you apparently “love with all your heart” and yet despite his deeply traumatised background and huge problems, IN 2 YEARS you haven’t actually engaged a behaviourist or medication to help his anxiety.

Apart from buying some toys and a single bed, what have you actually done?

What area of UK are you? I can recommended a fantastic dog behaviourist. I also know a rescue who would take him in. They won’t put dogs down and will rescue all the cases that seem beyond help.

He’s a traumatized dog and needs specialized help.

Message me for details.