Putting my 8 year old dog to sleep....

[loubbyloob]

2 years ago we got Sam from the kennels.
He has been badly abused by his last owners (burns to his skin,matted fur etc )
After a few weeks he snarled at me and showed his teeth.
The week after he bit me (when I went to kiss boyfriend )
I think he thought I was going to hurt bf.
He is a nervous wreck,jumps at any noise,won't let us stroke him.
We have had 3 bites In two years and needed antibiotics.
We have no kids so there's no risk there.

He will only sleep in our bedroom.
Otherwise he howls all night long.
We bought him a single bed so he wouldn't jump on ours.
The last two weeks we go to bed at 11pm and he spends 4 hours just staring at snarling (there's nothing there)
Jumping as if someone is there and barking.
He won't settle.
We are shattered all the time.
He finally falls to sleep at around 3am

My boyfriend wants to put him to sleep.
I don't.
I want him to have a nice life.
I rang vets and booked in next week.
They recommended herbal calming tablets.
I've ordered them.

Any ideas why he is doing this ?
Is he seeing things?
Does he have PTSD?
He is so unpredictable and we can't stroke him or let him kiss us because he just flips.

Any vet would agree to PTS him, their usual motto is "You want a pet, not a threat"

So yes, take him to a vet and discuss it, get him checked out.

Meanwhile have a look for a good behaviourist in your area and see what they say. They'll be able to tell you quite quickly just how hard/long/expensive this would be to manage - it's as much your behaviour as the god's - that bit about letting/wanting the dog kiss you bothers me too!

When you have both of those opinions you can discuss it more.

Good luck

A vet would put him to sleep, but they can also offer recommendations of trainers, behaviourists and would rule out medical problems causing this.

I would put him to sleep but if you want to put time into him and fix him, you can.

Op, you haven't ever been able to stroke him in two years? Haven't you thought about getting him help before now? Poor dog.

If it isn't anything physical I would consider putting him to sleep. You have a dog that's permanently anxious and on high alert. Can't be much of a life. Is he ever happy or content?

The only time I can stroke him is if he has his toy in his mouth.
I don't feel safe otherwise
Sometimes I can start stroking him and he is fine and then shows his teeth.
The two times he has bit me he dove at me and i couldn't react quick enough and move away.

@FeatheredHope no I've had 2 other dogs.
This is my first rescue dog.
The other two were from 7 weeks old and never had any issues and they were so loving /trusting.
Lost our last three years ago at 16.

I'm also looking for a behavioural therapist too.
I don't know where to start

@Rinoachicken not keen on dogs at all.
The odd dog he will like but the rest he will growl at.

@loubbyloob

The only time I can stroke him is if he has his toy in his mouth. I don't feel safe otherwise Sometimes I can start stroking him and he is fine and then shows his teeth. The two times he has bit me he dove at me and i couldn't react quick enough and move away.

Your dog is telling you really clearly that he doesn't want to be touched. Why are you continuing to touch your dog?

Consent is as important to dogs as it is to humans. If someone started touching you when you hadn't consented to it - and indeed, had previously repeatedly and clearly told them you wanted to stop - you'd be really upset too. You might even turn round and hit them because they just weren't heeding you when you told them to fuck off.

Your dog clearly has different boundaries than those you'd prefer him to have, but you need to respect those boundaries.

@DeathByWalkies the times I have stroked him when he doesn't have his toy in his mouth he has knocked my hand with his nose and continued to do this till I stroke him..then randomly he starts showing his teeth.
Even tho he wanted me to stroke him (I think )

Ok, Look on the APBC website linked further up in the thread.

You can also look on here abtc.org.uk/practitioners/

Either of these sites will give you lots of access to trainers and behaviourists that can help.

I will caution, if your partner is not interested in helping then it might not be possible, but I would have someone in and find out what the work involved may be before making any final decisions.

It sounds like your dog has been having a pretty crappy time, may have physical pain, may be remembering some horrid things but any sudden change in behaviour such as this night time behaviour is worthy of a vet visit and further investigation.

I would NOT change where he sleeps right now, whilst addressing separation anxiety (my specialist subject) is a good idea, it isn't started by evicting the dog from the room he sleeps in and it doesn't involve physically shutting dogs away from people until to do so would cause NO distress.

What steps have you actually taken to help him?

Try to see if he can be settled with behaviour therapy (the vet should be able to recommend a good animal behaviourist) and/or medication. They. An actually prescribe human antidepressants for dog’s these day and they can settle anxiety, so they may help a lot.

If his mental health cannot be improved when you have tried everything, I would (and I say this as a dog lover) have him put to sleep. As for posters who say he should have a serious health problem to consider that step, mental health problems can be a serious a health issue as any physical health problem.

[quote loubbyloob]@DeathByWalkies the times I have stroked him when he doesn't have his toy in his mouth he has knocked my hand with his nose and continued to do this till I stroke him..then randomly he starts showing his teeth.
Even tho he wanted me to stroke him (I think )[/quote]
There's a few possibilities here

• you're misinterpreting the dog's behaviour as a request for physical attention when he's actually asking for something else entirely
• your dog is conflicted and basically doesn't know what it wants (given his history, this is very plausible)
• your dog likes being stroked in one way, but doesn't like being touched in another way. For instance, mine asks for belly rubs, but will often snap if you touch his feet. Doing belly rubs for a dog with very short legs, without touching his feet, is a surprisingly tall order.

As I said upthread, you need to see a properly qualified behaviourist to work out what's going on here.

One simple consent test you can do when stroking a dog, to check if the dog still wants to be touched, is to simply stop. A dog that wants you to continue will nuzzle or lick your hand. A dog that wasn't fussed either way will simply ignore the lack of continued touch. It's surprising how often even a "normal" dog will turn out not to really want you to keep touching it.

@DeathByWalkies so true. My spaniel nuzzles and pats at me with his poor if I dare to stop stroking and rolls on his back. Signals are very clear that he wants affection.

@loubbyloob I hope you get some help, sounds a very difficult situation

I'm also looking for a behavioural therapist too. I don't know where to start

But you haven’t done this in the last 2 years?!

Vet to make sure he doesn’t have undiagnosed pain anywhere-especially if he has bitten
My older Ddg has ccd too-basically doggy dementia-she sometimes gets her night/day back to front-sleeps facing a wall or behind a door. if medically ok get a really experienced dog behaviourist.
if you can afford it or your insurance will cover it your bet can refer to a behaviourist At Bristol Veterinary school-they have amazing facilities there-we saw one there when we got our ‘aggressive’ rescue dog-only aggressive over food with our other dog-turns out she was in pain bless her -and the quickest way to stop out dog pinching her food was to attack first.we literally solved it in u see an hour.
There must also be other vet schools that you can be referred to if Bristol is too far

Sorry to hear your going through this.
Firstly, YOU NEED TO TAKE HIM TO THE VETS so that he is able to get fully checked for any medical problems, he could be in pain.
Secondly, you need to get him on some things that are going to help calm him, you can get Serene-Um tablets on Amazon and get Adaptil Calm as well off Amazon. You could try Hemp Oil as well but I'd use this as a last resort.
If it isn't a medical problem have you tried crating him before? If you haven't then start doing this now, you can get lots of tips online about this but he needs to learn boundaries, the crate is his safe place, if he feels uncomfortable or wants alone time then let him go to his crate. Get a comfy bed, some dog toys that are strong, a Kong dog toy is really good(stuff this with peanut butter, yoghurt, dog treats, etc) Is your dog getting enough exercise? A lot of behaviour problems are down to lack of exercise. Get training treats and start training him. How have you had him for so long but he isn't allowing you to go near him? That is not normal! Get some training cheats, the stinkier the better or cheese, chicken, etc and let him come to you once he starts doing this then reward him and then take it slowly you want to build up trust with him once he starts coming to you easily then start rewarding him when you are petting him. This is a long process and he shouldn't be put down because it doesn't seem like you've done a lot to try and help him get better. If your boyfriend is thinking about putting him down, take him back to the kennels you got him from and hopefully he will go to a new home that is going to help him with his needs.

Sorry forgot to ask, what sort of breed is Sam?

OP what is your relationship like with your partner? Could the dog be picking up on any bad energy?

I don't think it's fair to keep a dog in this high state of anxiety and attack. There's no quality of life there.

I'm a dog person and have 4 myself.

The fact you've had the dog 2 years and you can't stroke him shows he doesn't trust you and he doesn't feel comfortable.

If you are adamant the dog isn't to be put to sleep then you really need to be looking at a neuro issue. Will you be able to get him to a vet if you can't touch him? How will you clip a lead on him? What have you tried in the last 2 years apart from giving him treats?

Please
Don't put him to sleep, he needs help not death - poor little thing
Good luck please find him support even if you have to give him to another rescue who can help him

If you're looking for a behavioural therapist, your vet will have contact details of one.

@WiddlinDiddlin Has states the correct route to go down for approved behaviourists if you’re serious about this.

Numerous posters have asked what breed the dog is but you haven’t told us OP.

Have you sought advice on the FB groups for that breed? I work for a charity that is breed-specific and am willing to assist if you PM me & I’m in a position to help with contacts. I cannot promise anything but will do my best.

@BelterDelta sorry it's hard to keep up.
He is a cross poodle with a bedlington terrier