To refuse to attend because I have nothing to wear....

[Pisstakemuch]

Wedding this weekend. I been having some health issues and currently have quite a bloated stomach. Literally, none of my dresses fit without me looking 5 months pregnant! Even if I tried to buy a new one, I can't see how I can hide it.
I really just want to tell DP I'm not going. I'd be so self conscious and uncomfortable, not to mention the criticism of my toxic in-laws. AIBU?

[quote Nicknacky]@PyongyangKipperbang Faking covid symptoms. That means her H can’t go to the wedding.[/quote]
And maybe he would like an excuse to avoid it too if the in laws are that bad. It was just a daft comment not meant particularly seriously.

Oh and I didnt suggest faking covid symptoms, just lying to her in laws

If you didn’t want to go you should have declined the invitation when it was sent to you.

OP I do think you need to at least seem to engage with some of the ideas being proffered?! What's the point of asking on here when you bat away everyone's suggestions? It sounds to me like you've already made up your mind...

Dear Christ that pink spotty ASOS dress is an abomination.

Given you have a medical condition which means you go up and down I would have a few feel good outfits to wear when the need arises. How about a shift dress or even seperates . An embellished top which draws the eye away from your bloat. To be honest I doubt if anyone will notice.

This is like one of the ones I got but different colour. I bought it big so it’s loose and a little longer.

Just don't go. If you feel that uncomfortable, just say no!
Why should you go to something that makes you feel uncomfortable?

If I was feeling the way you are feeling I just wouldn't go. I wouldn't like to feel uncomfortable or self conscious for the day especially around people I don't have a great relationship with. Instead of stressing about it just make the decision that you aren't going.

I understand - I think a lot of people who don't have body issues simply don't understand how demoralising it is for those of us who do. If I had had a pound for every event that I've pulled out of because I feel unable to appear in public looking the way I do I'd have been able to pay for the breast reduction surgery needed to make me look less self conscious.

@Postdatedpandemic

This sort of thing is fashionable at the moment. The model also has small boobs. You can wear it and be comfortable and fashionable all summer.

Jesus! It looks like she's fashioned a dress out of a duvet cover! Still at least the colour is ideal for getting the squits

I decided it would be polite to hide my baby bump at family members wedding (I hadn’t told anyone) I wore an off the shoulder dress in this style and I have small boobs. Big print and colourful shoes, no one looked at my tummy.
I hope you feel ok. I have missed out on things because I felt shitty about myself and didn’t go. It always makes me feel worse though as I feel like I let it beat me. Horrible cycle to break.x

get a maxi dress? or something floaty and cover up

I would be pissed off if you did not come because you could not find something to wear. It isnt about you this time (sorry)!!!

This! www.sugarhillbrighton.com/collections/dresses/products/lauren-smock-dress-pink-wild-animal

I wore maternity dresses when I had hernia issues, they’re really comfortable and there’s so much choice, you really can’t tell it’s maternity wear sometimes. I also went to a wedding with a massive orthopaedic brace on once, the dress I got to cover it was horrendous but I’m still glad I went - I just didn’t look at any of the photos afterwards! You suffer short term pain going for one wedding in a bad dress but might suffer longer term judgement if you pull a no show so close to the date.

As a fellow small-boobed bloated tummy sufferer I feel your pain. If it’s a reasonably casual affair, Hush have a lot of loose dresses that work well for smaller boobs. I also bought a super padded bra, which helps balance me out a bit.
Hope you’re able to enjoy it at least a little bit.

no one will judge you on how you look, paint on a smile and go

@Pisstakemuch

I never said I didn't want to attend anyway. I am totally committed to attending these things for DP and was looking forward to the venue. Floaty dresses don't work for me because if my lack of chest. I would never expect anyone who felt self-conscious or uncomfortable to feel like that for my benefit.

Floaty dresses work especially well on flatter chested women. Big boobs make the dress stick out like a tent whereas small ones allow it to flow more. Look into a loose flowing summer dress.

Something like this or if that's too white for a wedding this

An empire line dress (a dress with a high waist)
A shift dress
A box dress
Maybe a wrap dress
Shorts/skirt and blazer two piece with a shirt tucked in and then puffed back out
Trousers and a floaty top
Also darker colours are more slimming

Black slim or skinny pants, long black top, a little nipped in jacket over it to give you a waist. Strappy pointy toed shoes. Slimming, neat, smart

I’m of an age where I have a tum, (59), buy a nice shift. Dress from eBay and a chunky necklace

So many dresses are currently oversized or very floaty.

Try ASOS or similar for next day delivery

I do understand though - hate feeling like that and frequently do 😞 but you do need to go

I wouldn't go.

I hate the way I look, so I sympathise. In my case I hate my face as well, which isn't as easy to hide lol. However, I have recently, after a bit of ill health, had a bit of a reality check, and I'm trying to feel better about myself.

People that know you don't care, they care about you, flaws and all. I suspect people that don't know you will have their own insecurities and be worried about their weight, their spots, their boobs or bum being too big or too small, or their arms or thighs being too fat etc. etc.

You are the way you are, and it's not your job to please other's with the way you look. If they don't like it they can look elsewhere.

Easier said than done I know, but honestly. You can't pass up opportunities to enjoy because of that. No bloke would ever do that...I've not noticed men dressing to hide their stomachs on the beach for example, while women cringe walking to the sea.

Few of us are happy with everything. Try some suggestions on here and see what you think...ask others though, I always look in the mirror and focus only on the negatives.