To refuse to attend because I have nothing to wear....

[Pisstakemuch]

Wedding this weekend. I been having some health issues and currently have quite a bloated stomach. Literally, none of my dresses fit without me looking 5 months pregnant! Even if I tried to buy a new one, I can't see how I can hide it.
I really just want to tell DP I'm not going. I'd be so self conscious and uncomfortable, not to mention the criticism of my toxic in-laws. AIBU?

I have a bloated abdomen and have had to fend off pregnancy questions (if I’m feeling particularly posed off I just reply ‘no, I’m just a fat fucker’ with a steely glare).
Surprisingly, some maternity clothes have been very flattering. I have a lovely jumpsuit that I accidentally purchased, not realising it was from the maternity range, and it’s really good at disguising my tummy.

I presume you’re dealing with the source of the bloating as much as you can? I’ve bought some prebiotic tablets for my daughter who is having stomach issues.

When you say ‘this weekend’ you presumably mean next weekend? (Else wedding is tonight!). This surely means you have 5 days in which your tummy might hopefully deflate a bit for you. If it doesn’t I would do what others suggest and buy a loose fitting floaty dress and make the most of it. I think it would be really off to pull out of going and would presumably be hurtful to your DH having to go without out as well as the happy couple , who will have paid for you to attend whether you see it that way or otherwise. Hopefully you will enjoy yourself when you get there.

I have a similar problem. This dress is working for me right now:

www.phase-eight.com/product/penele-swing-dress-220428371.html#q=Penele%20&is=false&sz=60&start=0&isSecondPage=false&pid=220428371&pos=6

@4PawsGood

I think people aren’t understanding how bad you feel.

The small chest is not just another whinge, it means that when the fabric falls from there, it’s can’t disguise your stomach. Ie if your stomach sticks out more than your boobs then floaty dresses don’t work.

You need a stiff open jacket or a stiffer smock dress. I also think the shawl suggestion is good.

There’s definitely dresses that would skim over the stomach regardless of boobs. Trapeze shaped ones, or ones with like an empire seam under the bust area and reasonably stiff fabric as you suggest.

The fact I have bigger boobs affects how things hang (often for the worse) but it seriously couldn’t be a better time for dresses that hide tummies.

If I was OP I’d order about half a dozen from somewhere like ASOS, using the option to split or delay the cost if necessary, and try them on in the comfort of my own home.

My god go get some therapy. ASAP.

(I don’t know why people are being so horrible to you btw. I’m making dress suggestions because I think you might well find something that suits given what’s currently in fashion, but if you can’t find anything you feel comfortable in and your horrible, critical in-laws will be there I think it’s perfectly reasonable to make an excuse and bail.)

If they got married months ago it’s just a party not a wedding surely so you don’t have to dress up and could wear anything.

Declining at the last moment should be for emergencies such as illness etc not due to lack of an outfit.

I agree with you op and I'd not want to go either feeling like that. A pp says people won't be looking at your belly but I know how women do eye other women up and internally criticise them. This shouldn't stop you wearing what the hell you like, but this is real life and it would stop me from wanting to wear a nice dress. Weddings are usually pretty naff too, do you really need to be there, are you close to the couple, would they really notice your non attendance? Give this one a miss if you answered no to the above and take the pressure off yourself.

wraparound dresses are your friend.

The wrap bit at the front disguises your tummy (trust me, they were all I wore at one time!) and a v neck helps to give you the look of boobs (especially if you augment them with chicken fillets.

I think wraparound dresses are not your friends.

However if you choose not to go.....the pandemic is handy as you may need to self isolate that weekend as you wait for test results......

www.asos.com/asos-design/asos-design-trapeze-maxi-dress-in-oversized-beige-spot-print/prd/24134306?colourwayid=60541660&SearchQuery=beige+spot+dress

This dress - the gathering will make boobs look bigger (add a padded bra) and is so voluminous it will hide your tummy.

@PyongyangKipperbang Haha, you are kidding…..right?

@nanbread

This dress - the gathering will make boobs look bigger (add a padded bra) and is so voluminous it will hide your tummy.

This looks like it has a strong chance of working

This makes me so sad, that you're so needlessly self conscious about your appearance that you are allowing it to limit your life. Genuinely, nobody will give a fuck what you look like unless you turn up in Lady Gaga's meat dress or a wedding gown. You need to have a serious chat with yourself, life is too short and these kind of dehabilitating insecurities should be banished by adulthood, or you should look at getting therapy.

[quote Nicknacky]@PyongyangKipperbang Haha, you are kidding…..right?[/quote]
About what?

I mean the wraparound style ones that have the drape at the front. Trying to find one now....

@Flowers500

This makes me so sad, that you're so needlessly self conscious about your appearance that you are allowing it to limit your life. Genuinely, nobody will give a fuck what you look like unless you turn up in Lady Gaga's meat dress or a wedding gown. You need to have a serious chat with yourself, life is too short and these kind of dehabilitating insecurities should be banished by adulthood, or you should look at getting therapy.

Strrrrraight up!

@PyongyangKipperbang Faking covid symptoms. That means her H can’t go to the wedding.

Ignore the nasty comments! If you feel so uncomfortable I wouldn’t go either. It sounds like toxic family members so leave it. If it was people who made you feel welcome and less self conscious you wouldn’t be posting and I bet you would find something to wear and go. But as they wound make you feel more self conscious that is making you more nervous. If your husband okay with it then don’t go but if it will cause issues between him and you then just find something to wear and go x

I totally understand OP, I struggled with body image in my early 20s and its not just like feeling a bit meh or a having a 'fat day', I genuinely sometimes couldn't physically leave the house in the morning after getting ready, I hated myself and was obsessed with how I looked, people thought it was vanity but I loathed myself.
Could you wear a jump suit? You might find it skims your belly better than a dress if you find the right fit.

Buy something comfortable. Get your nails, hair and make up done if possible. Go there and try have a fabulous time!!! Life's too short. No shame in weight gain. We've all been there. 😊

I’ve had similar issues, and understand how you feel, but I still think you should go.

I was feeling bad when the warm weather came so went to Asda and bought a few summer dresses, including a high neck loose shift one, which I think would suit your shape. I sized up (drasticallly!) so they were loose, and I’m feeling much better. And they were cheap as chips and would be pretty for a wedding if you’re all dine up and nice shoes. Worth a look