Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To refuse to attend because I have nothing to wear....

123 replies

Pisstakemuch · 25/07/2021 20:49

Wedding this weekend. I been having some health issues and currently have quite a bloated stomach. Literally, none of my dresses fit without me looking 5 months pregnant! Even if I tried to buy a new one, I can't see how I can hide it.
I really just want to tell DP I'm not going. I'd be so self conscious and uncomfortable, not to mention the criticism of my toxic in-laws. AIBU?

OP posts:
Thread gallery
8
PassthePortPlease · 25/07/2021 21:42

Post on style & beauty, there are some lovely experts on there who will find you something that makes you feel good.

chorizoTapas · 25/07/2021 21:45

@Pisstakemuch

🤣🤣 Typical MN! 🤣🤣 There's a hell of a difference between vanity and being so self conscious you struggle to even do the school run
I know how you feel op, I hate going out even on the school run. I feel awful about myself but have started a change of lifestyle and 8lb down after 3 weeks (spent years trying to get even this far) which I know isn't helpful to you but I get it completely
GAW19 · 25/07/2021 21:47

Have a look on In The Style, they have some beautiful floaty dresses atm! They also do petite and tall if you need a different length too Smile

Jerseygirl12 · 25/07/2021 21:50

There are so many pretty summer dresses this year and many are really floaty and meant to be worn lose. Forget you’re old clothes that aren’t fitting at the moment and buy a cheap new dress.

Sally872 · 25/07/2021 21:51

Of course there is something you can wear. A floaty dress will be fine. Who cares about small chest you are being picky now.

Exactly what would dh say? Because "wife had nothing to wear" will be talked about much more than your stomach.

Divebar2021 · 25/07/2021 21:56

There are probably a trillion loose dresses you could wear at the moment - they are the height of fashion ( not floaty, loose). If you start a thread on S&B with your preferences I’m sure someone will assist. Here’s one to start you off… it’s by Kin.

To refuse to attend because I have nothing to wear....
shouldistop · 25/07/2021 21:57

What about this op?

To refuse to attend because I have nothing to wear....
PosyBoo · 25/07/2021 22:00

OP, I do totally get where you’re coming from. It’s not just the having nothing to wear, it’s having nothing to wear that you feel comfortable in and is “you”. When you’re already feeling rotten and self conscious having no clothes that fit makes you feel 100% worse. This all being said, I think you have to try and find something and go. Even if it’s not your normal style. I’m actually very flat chested but have a pot belly so find floaty or smock style dresses really flattering and my go to style. Do you like your legs? If so there are some beautiful floral smock mini dresses around at the moment, which aren’t overly expensive. I know it’s almost impossible when you’re feeling rubbish but try and see it a a chance to try out some new styles that you wouldn’t have looked at before. I hope you feel better soon and manage to enjoy the wedding.

Calvinlookingforhobbes · 25/07/2021 22:02

Having read your info and relaxing it is not a paid for meal I say don’t go. You’ve been unwell. Prepare for the fall out though

iloveruby · 25/07/2021 22:03

Don't go. If you're not that close and going will make you feel worse then it isn't worth it.

I've both been on nights out and cancelled them when I've felt really self-conscious and I can tell you which ones were better.

Hugoslavia · 25/07/2021 22:05

You accepted. Weddings have been incredibly stressful this year to arrange and many venues have had to cut guest numbers. The couple have paid for you to attend. You must go. Ask around your friends. Someone will have something that you can borrow.

Ivy48 · 25/07/2021 22:08

What about a smock dress? All I’m fashion at the moment and would easily cover bloating

youdoyoutoday · 25/07/2021 22:11

I completely get it!! Big fat belly and small boobs is my body shape and I feel really self conscious about it too but I do just wear baggy dresses and a wonder bra so the dress almost hangs off my boobs. Doesn't always work but there be something you can wear and it will be OK, tell your DH to stick by you, ignore the inlaws and you'll be fine. Good luck 👍

Postdatedpandemic · 25/07/2021 22:12

This sort of thing is fashionable at the moment. The model also has small boobs. You can wear it and be comfortable and fashionable all summer.

To refuse to attend because I have nothing to wear....
SparrowNest · 25/07/2021 22:13

Could you possibly try an oversized smock style dress? They’re all over the shops at the moment. I actually am 5 months pregnant and recently wore one to a wedding, and nobody who didn’t already know actually realised I had a bump until I held the dress down to show the outline.

iloveruby · 25/07/2021 22:14

@Postdatedpandemic

This sort of thing is fashionable at the moment. The model also has small boobs. You can wear it and be comfortable and fashionable all summer.
I'm not sure whether you are joking or not!!
AnnaSW1 · 25/07/2021 22:14

I think if you don't feel comfortable going in what you have available to wear then don't go. Life is too short.

AnnaSW1 · 25/07/2021 22:16

And I think you are having a hard time on this thread unnecessarily

Passanotherjaffacake · 25/07/2021 22:16

www.oliverbonas.com/fashion/dot-print-white-mini-shirt-dress-330312

I think something like this would be perfect as you can dress it up but looks like it has good movement. Looks good for small boobs with the gathering just above them (I have giant boobs and know this style looks awful on them, much as I love it!).

I really sympathise OP, currently battling a huge tum myself.

HalzTangz · 25/07/2021 22:19

[quote Pisstakemuch]@cheshire it's a buffet.[/quote]
A buffet still costs money per head, especially if it's purchased through caterers

Iwantamarshmallowman · 25/07/2021 22:19

I have absolutely no idea why people are being so rude to you. I suffer with a condition that leaves me with a very bloated "pregnent" tummy. Its very painfull and you certainly wouldn't be able to wear spanks.
If you have instagram lottie drynan has loads of outfit ideas and tips to dress for a bloated tummy. But yanbu if you don't go. If u had said i have covid symptoms people wouldn't tell you to suck it up and go. Hope you feel better soon

Daisychaincarrot · 25/07/2021 22:19

It’s incredibly rude not to go to the wedding at this short notice. You will have cost the bride and groom money too.

4PawsGood · 25/07/2021 22:24

I think people aren’t understanding how bad you feel.

The small chest is not just another whinge, it means that when the fabric falls from there, it’s can’t disguise your stomach. Ie if your stomach sticks out more than your boobs then floaty dresses don’t work.

You need a stiff open jacket or a stiffer smock dress. I also think the shawl suggestion is good.

SparrowNest · 25/07/2021 22:24

Here’s a couple of dresses I found on the H&M website. Small boobs gives you more options than I had, I’ve currently got massive udders that need serious scaffolding.

To refuse to attend because I have nothing to wear....
To refuse to attend because I have nothing to wear....
Postdatedpandemic · 25/07/2021 22:26

In fact buy two smock style dresses, they are in the sales at the moment and will help you look fabulous on the school run and at the supermarket.
If the bloating is here to stay for a while you can't just hide in baggy leggings and t-shirts. Well you can but will just travel quicker towards depression.